Now that Shavuos is over...

I don't like repeating stories to many audiences. The first time I tell it is fun. I'm excited, I give details. After that, it just gets tiring. I feel like I'm being forced to tell it, and it loses some of it's joy.

Should I tell y'all about my Shavuos in The Old city? It was amazingly fun. I want to say upliftingly inspiring, but that it wasn't. I don't know, I just don't get inspired very easily.

Should I tell you about staying up all night? Drinking numerous cups of coffee (black, and bitter, because I was a good maidel and ate fleishigs, something I highly believe in.) to stay awake. So so so tired, trying to listen to speakers at 2 am. Trying to learn. Saying tehillim. Walking to the Kotel at 4 am, davening with the vasikin minyan, so confused, trying to hear krias HaTorah, crowds and crowds of people, thousands. Going to tzemach tzedek shul, and thankfully, hearing it.

7 am. A bite of cheesecake, (which I and a friend so kindly prepared, AND it came out good! I exaggerate not.) fall into bed, exhausted. Sleep for 6 hours. kitchen duty. Prepare the meal at 3, get ready for Shabbos, light the candles (trying to remember if I did all my muksa stuff, only to realize that there was none to do, coming straight from yom tov.) Sadly shavuos was over, keeping only 1 day in the holy land, but it went right into shabbos, so we didn't miss out.

Kotel for mincha/kabbala shabbos/mariv, prepare meal number 3 (or 4, if you count the milchigs as a meal.) say a dvar Torah which I hastily prepared, clean up and done. And the night begins.

Me and Friends go check out the old city. Waking through the arab shuk for the first time. Cool, but empty. Kotel at midnight. No, not there to do tikkun chatzos, it's shabbos. It's empty, I walk straight up to the wall, feeling like it's mine, like I'm the only one there. Definitly an experiance.

Here I shall leave out some of the details (a good speaker always leaves things out, so the audiance will come back for more. Plus, I don't really know you, dear people, and you do tend to judge so harshly, so no, I won't tell you all that went on.)

The night ends at 3. Well, it almost ended till a friend dragged me out of bed to walk another friend back to the place she was staying. Kotel again, 3 am. I feel like I practically live there, by now. 3 times in one night. Ok, NOW the night was over, my bed never felt so good.

Shabbos morning. Another meal to prepare. (Ahhh, the joys of kitchen duty.) We were eating in a place right near kever of Dovid Hamelech, so there was lots happening around there. Taking a break from kitchen duty, sitting outside absorbing the hot hot (hot hot hot hot hot) sun. Suddenly theres a commotion.

There's an arab running right towards me. Ok, what to do. Thankfully, he veers at the last second, and runs straight into the hall where all 40 sem girl were eating. Imagine this. One arab, being chased by a group of (slightly drunk and very angry) jewish guys, bursts into our little peaceful meal. Chaos ensues. Principal very mad, girls slightly confused, this story will be told and retold for years to come, the details getting changed and distorted along the way.

What really happened? Nothing. Apparently, this arab guy was lurking around, he looked at, or talked to, a jewish girl, and these slightly drunk, testosterone filled men were looking for an excuse to let off some steam. So they beat him up. Simple. No, he did not beat up the Rabbi, he was cowerding behind him. So that was the excitment for the day.

Going to the kotel (again, yes. Can't get enough of it.) Meeting a soldier, and getting a tour of the old city. Kotel katan, something I never knew existed. Shaar Shchem. The arab shuk. Very busy, very colorful, lots of arabs. Looking at these arabs, the realization hit me. There's the possibility that I can become a statistic. One of many jewish girls who have been kidnapped, raped, killed. And being american won't help me at all. I am a jew. And they hate me. It definitely felt safer having a guy with a gun nearby.

Water fights going on all day, trying to dodge it and not get wet. Friend got wet, she pulled the boys ear and told him off. Hopefully he won't be pouring water on unsuspecting girls anymore.

Shalosh seudos/seder niggunim on rooftop overlooking Jeruselam. Beautiful way to finish off shabbos.

On the roof on top of kever Dovid, peering down, watching a group of mizrachi boys singing. Feeling kind of stakerish, but enjoying it nontheless. Sky getting dark, stars coming out, you know what that means.

Pack up the kitchen, clean up, get ready to go. Watching a guy playing guitar, and singing. (Him, not us.) Got some nice pictures. Walking back to the bus terminal, 12 midnight, feeling like a weary traveler, and remember that I am one. Back to Tel Aviv, with pictures, and memories, so many memories, to prove that it happened.

That was my Shavuos. Any questions/comments may be posted here__________. (Notice the line is very short.) Or directed at me, and if I feel like answering it, I might. Or not.

If you'd ask me how my Shavuos was, I'd say, it was fun. Lots of fun. Do I feel changed, uplifted, like I just got the Torah? Do I feel closer to G-d (actually, that one would be yes.) No, not really. Change is a hard thing, and it doesn't happen overnight. Maybe next year will be different.

Now it's over. What next, I ask myself. And self answers back, summer, of course. Off to Cali to be HC in one of the illustrious Gan Izzy camps there. Have to get ready for that.

Next year is one big question mark still. I like to just live in the present. Worrying about the future gets so tiring. So that's it. I have 2 more weeks in Israel. Can't believe it's coming to an end...don't want to think about it.

Now that Shavuos is over.... life moves on.