He says, ow that really hurts, and I tell him he deserves it, because he should know my name by now.
And still I bring him cookies.
I'm at the checkout counter and all I have are two boxes of brown sugar.
It's late, the guy behind the counter is eating something, maybe a sad meal he calls dinner.
I feel like talking, saying something, anything.
I'm tired, he's probably tired and couldn't care less what I have to say.
I say, I was in middle of baking and realized I needed brown sugar. How great is it that you are open so late.
He titters. Definitely not a full laugh.
I leave with my purchases, wondering why humans feel the need to interact with complete strangers.
My roommates comment every time I bake, asking me what I'm making, what it's for, who it's for, if they could have some.
I tell them I was feeling down and instead of eating away my feelings, I decided to bake and make other people happy.
I know there are people who will be very happy tomorrow to hear I made cookies.
I go to pick up my tray from my friend's house, after eating there on Shabbos.
The tray is still filled with my lemon bars, and that makes me sad.
She apologizes and tells me her family doesn't really like to try new things.
That's fine, I will take my lemon bars elsewhere, to a place where people appreciate them.
I found out that the family friend I have been davening for passed away today.
I saw the news right before class started.
I couldn't focus in class.
There was a guy in my class who also knows the family.
It was nice to have someone to commiserate with.
Tomorrow I will be going to a levaya, and that makes me sad.
She always had a smile on her face, asking about my mom and my family.
She was at every bris, every family simcha, taking pictures and helping make the family happy.
Her family was our very first neighbors when we moved to Crown Heights.
I grew up with her kids.
Most of her kids are married now, but I keep thinking of her husband, and how very hard it will be for him to move on.
Do people ever really move on from death?
Are they supposed to?
I stay up late baking cookies,and think of her smiling down on her family.
I hope they will be okay.