Lag Ba'omer

Fire dancing, moving, crackling.

Eyes glowing, faces smiling, so happy, excited.

Music. Children dancing, people clapping.

Singing, all of us, voices raised high. Attracting attention, not caring, living in the moment.

Songs that pull at your heartstrings, songs that make you want to dance, to move.

Lag Ba'omer. Feel the excitement in the air.

So many people, watching us, drawing closer, attracted to our flames, our singing, our group. Togetherness.

So many little fires, each its own existance. But together, they become one, merging, forming one big fire, reveling in the moment, celebrating on this happy day.

Arms linked, hands classped, dancing together. Drawing children in, dancing with them, showing them what Lag Ba'omer is all about, how we celebrate properly.

Letting go, being yourself. A certain freedom.

Drummer dude. So many drums, the kids are so excited. So are we.

Tapping to the beat, more music, more dancing, as the light from the fire casts a glow on it all. Surreal.

Roasting marshmellows, potatoes. Kumtzitz. Swaying in the night time breeze, one voice, haunting, slow melodies.

An experiance. Making it last.

Boarding the bus for Meron. 3 hour drive. So tired, yet so hyper, jittery with excitement.

Arriving, 2 am. Darkness. So many people. Confusion. Trying not to get lost.

Holding hands, pushing our way through the crowd. No idea where to go, just follow everyone else.

Up the hill, being pushed along with the flow.

Arriving at the kever, inching our way in. Staying close to the door.

Being pushed from the front, being pushed from behind. It's like a game. Somehow, I became the ball.

Rushing prayers, can't stand here, need to get out.

Push our way out, holding onto eachother, trying not to lose anyone.

Suddenly, I'm stuck. No where to move. It's like a jigsaw puzzle, that no one can solve.

People pushing, trying to get passed, people behind me, trying to get forward.

My feet are moving, but my body is not. I feel like I'm falling, but there is no where to fall to.

It's like being squeshed between two walls, like being flattened in a sandwich maker.

I look up, the only place theres space to move. I can't breath.

I ask G-d for help.

I catch a lady's eye, and we both laugh, because we are all in the same boat. No one can move.

Then, it bursts, like a water baloon. A gap opens, people move, surging, so suddenly.

Trying not to fall, moving with the flow, and we're out!

Watching the men dancing. So powerful, so mesmerising.

Blasting music, singing, so many people.

3 more hours to kill.

Walking around, half asleep. I feel like I'm drunk.

There's a free beer cart, there is that option, but not my style.

We found the 'Moshiach square', where all the Lubavitchers congregate. Yechi playing over and over again on the speakers.

Screaming with the recording, 'we want moshiach now!' So tired, not sure what I'm doing.

Yellow flags. Guys giving out moshiach cards, pictures of the Rebbe on it.

We got stacks, and thats what we did the rest of the night.

Trying to convince people to take them, handing them out to strangers.

Some were happy to oblige.

Others, threw them on the floor, and cursed us out.

It hurt me, it made me so mad.

This is who I am. I am a Jew. I am religious. But most importantly, I am Lubavitch, a follower of the Rebbe.

If you don't agree with it, if you think we are 'christians', or crazy, if you feel like cursing us out, telling me exactly what you think of chabad, fine. Thats your opinion. But don't insult the Rebbe, don't throw him on the floor.

Ironically, they were throwing G-d on the floor too, because there was a tefillat haderech on the back.

So tired, so crowded, so many people.

Dawn. 5 am. The sky turns blue, slowly. The sun breaks over the horrizon. A new day.

Vasikin minyan. Teffilin stands, trying to get people to do a mitzva.

Walking around in my tiredness state, wishing I was more awake, wishing I didn't say half the things I said, and do some of the stuff I did.

Wishing the night wouldn't end.

6 am. Have to find our bus, have to go.

Don't want to leave.

Say goodbye to the moshiach square, to Meron.

Not knowing when, or if I'd ever be back again.

Lag Ba'omer. In Israel. In Meron.

You just had to have been there.
As much as I can tell people about my experiance, so much of it is in my heart.

Emotions, that can't be explained.

Memories, that will remain forever.

As sad as I was that it was over, I realized, it will never be over if you don't forget it.

If you always remember the experiance, if you think about it, make it come alive in your mind.

I'm still reeling from that night.

Trying to figure out if it actually happened, or was just a figment of my imagination.

It was so unreal.

But I hope it happened. I hope I didn't imagine it.

Because I would have missed out on so much,

if I was never really there.