Don't dance for me. Dance instead of me.
Every time I go to a gathering, such as simchas beis hashueva, or like Lag Ba'omer in Meron, it always turns out that the men dance, and the women stand and watch, clapping along. Why does it have to be that way?
No, the men don't have more stamina then us. If anything, I think women have more energy when it comes to dancing.
I love watching the men dance, I really do. Seeing them twirl, running round and round in dizzying circles, putting their whole selves, mind and body into it, with such enthusiasm, it makes me smile. It makes me happy. But it also makes me wish that I can join in.
I know men and women are very different. I know that if they were together in one room, especially for dancing, they would each dance very differently. It would no longer be about the simcha, the enjoyment, the simple pleasure. It would no longer be a dance for themselves.
It would turn into a competition. Dancing for each other, with each other. It's natural. Men and women simply attract. (Actually, it's not simple at all.) It would take away from the whole point, the whole meaning of it.
So G-d created laws. Tznius. Separation. Women can't dance in front of men. The reasons are obvious. But why can't we have our own side? Why don't they put up a proper mechitza, make sure the women have where to dance? The only time I get to dance, to really let myself go, is at a wedding.
I think the answer is clear. In a public setting, there is no way to keep women dancing, a private spectacle. The second the men get wind of it, they would be over there, watching, wanting to join. Walking through the ladies section 'by accident', cuz they are lost. Thats just how it is.
So I come. I watch, as the men dance. I envy them, their freedom. The laws of Tznius do apply to them, but are way more strict for women. I don't question it, I just wish it were different. I'm a little jealous.
So you dance for me. You dance instead of me. If you are a man, go to these gatherings, dance your heart out, and know that I am watching. Know that you are not dancing for one, but for all us women too.
I like what you say, but it saddens me too. I feel what you are going through. There are circles where you can dance, you just have to find them. Maybe I'm wrong though, what do I know?
ReplyDeleteYou could have gone the opposite direction and been all upset about the indignity of it all. But I certainly hear what you are saying. I guess you just have to join the very modern and then you can dance all you want.
Yes, I could, but it takes away from the beauty of it.
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