Dvar Torah in honor of Shavuos

Disclaimer: These are not my own words, but the words of Rabbi Wagner, Rosh Yeshiva of Toronto. I know it's long, but take a minute or two to read it, I found it very inspiring, and I'm sure you will too.

There was once a Satmar chosid, who was married for a number of years, without being zoche to children. He approached his Rebbe, the Satmar Rov (R’ Yoel), numerous times, and indeed received many brochos, but still he was childless. Once, losing patience, he approached his Rebbe and demanded a havtocho (a guarantee), saying ‘I’ve already received plenty brochos, I will not leave you alone until you promise me a child’.

The Satmar Rov looked at him in amazement. ‘How can I guarantee anything? Chazal say that the “key” to childbirth is one of theשלשה מפתחות that Hashem keeps for Himself and does not share with anyone else. I can bless you, and I can daven for you, but after all is said and done, it is still exclusively in Hashem’s hands!’

But the chosid was relentless, and would not take no for an answer. Finally, the Satmar Rov told him: ‘I can only give you my brocho, but if you insist on a havtocho then you’ll have to go the Lubavitcher.’ The chosid was desperate, and he called the mazkirus of the Rebbe, and asked for an appointment for yechidus at a time when he could get into the Rebbe while remaining inconspicuous (without getting recognized in foreign territory).

Finally his turn for yechidus arrived, and he went into the Rebbe’s room, and poured out his heart about his problem. The Rebbe listened to him, and gave him a brocho for a child. But the chosid wasn’t about to give up after coming so far, and he gathered his courage and said to the Rebbe ‘I am not asking for a brocho, I’m asking for a promise’. The Rebbe glanced at him sharply, but the chosid repeated his demand, explaining that he was sent for this purpose by his Rebbe, - the Satmar Rov himself. When the Rebbe heard who he’d been sent by, his expression became very serious, and the Rebbe gave him his havtocho.

Afterwards the Rebbe said to him: “you are a chosid of the Satmar Rov. Recently he commemorated a yorzeit, on which occasion he surely held a tisch and said Torah. I would like to hear over something of the Torah that he said for that occasion”. The chosid thought back to the tisch, and told the Rebbe: ‘I remember the Rov asking a question. Chazal tell us "אפילו פושעי ישראל מלאים מצוות כרימון, and the Satmar Rov asked, if they’re poyshei Yisroel, sinners, how can we say that they’re full of mitzvos?!’

The Rebbe’s expression again became very grave, and the Rebbe remarked: “I too have a question on the same maamar chazal; They are, after all, filled with mitzvos, how, then, can they be referred to as ‘sinners’”
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Recently we wrote about the lesson of the days of sefira, about working on nohagu kavod zeh bozeh. The time of sefirah is a time to improve our dealings with each other.

But the question is: how does one go about that? How can I bring myself to act politely, to behave respectfully, towards someone who is, in my opinion, a lowlife and an unterveltnick? Wouldn’t I be guilty of a lack a proper chassidisher hergesh, if I displayed anything short of disdain towards someone who appears to be undermining the Rebbe’s work (which is basically most of the people in the world, except for me!)?

The basic answer is, I think, that it’s all a matter of perspective. We all have the ability to focus on the virtues of others, and through that to view our fellow Chassidim in a positive light.

He may be a sinner. But he’s also surely filled with virtues, which we have to admit to, if we’re at all honest with ourselves.

The question is: where do we put the emphasis? Do we say: ‘That guy may do a lot of good things, but he’s really a low-life because . . . ‘. Or do we say: ‘That person may have some faults, but he is really such a wonderful person because. . .’
In today’s Jewish world, it has become popular to give much attention to the concept of loshon hora. There are loshon hora clubs[1], and loshon hora contests and loshon hora posters, and any self-respecting contemporary Jewish writer makes sure to include some mention of loshon hora in his (or her) stories.

Indeed, loshon hora is a most severe aveira, that Chazal equate to kofar b’ikar, to heresy, and describe as being deserving of the most stringent punishments. In Hayom Yom, as well as in sichos, the severity of it is addressed.

Yet, the approach of Chassidus in preventing it seems to go a basic step further: The Frierdige Rebbe quotes in the name of the Rebbe Maharash, who said in the name of the Baal Shem Tov (with regards to the Yomim Noraim) – “Hashem does not desire the davening of Yiden; rather he desires to hear praises being said about Yidden!”

Hear Hear!

One short statement that says it all. Lashon Hora means don’t say all of the negative statements (that obviously reflect the things that you think) about your friend. The preoccupation with lashon hora is about not speaking (or as one of the projects is named – “machsom l’fi” - sealing one’s mouth.

Undoubtedly, in some situations that is what Torah requires us to be dealing with.
But it doesn’t end there. Don’t keep silent, and pat yourself on the back for refraining from speaking lashon Hora, while in your mind you have only contempt for that person. On the contrary, do speak about him! Find something nice to say about him! Praise him!

It doesn’t start with the faculty of speech, it starts with the faculty of thought. Think positively. Change your outlook, refine your perspective! View your fellow in a positive light, and there won’t be a need to fight the urge to tell everyone about what a shin vov vov he is.

When the Tzemach Tzedek was asked by his Rebbetzin how he took upon himself the responsibility to risk his life (during the government meetings in Petersburg), despite the fact that Chassidim are dependent on him, the Tzemach said that there are 2 answers; firstly, there are his children [who can continue to lead and guide the Chassidim], and secondly, through practicing achdus, Chassidim will overcome all obstacles, and prevail until the coming of Moshiach.

But Achdus is not merely an act, a superficial manner of conduct. Rather, genuine achdus is a reflection of the ability to cultivate a better outlook, to perceive our fellows in a way that evokes a true love for them. Although we don’t necessarily agree with them in everything, although we may not be able to see eye-to-eye in many areas, he’s still מלאים מצוות כרימון - full of mitzvos and goodness, and I can respect and love him for it.

No-one said that it’s easy (I’ll be the first to confess that it isn’t). Most important things aren’t. But it’s what chassidishe ahavas Yisroel is all about. It’s what the Rebbe constantly teaches and shows us. A person may be a mescichist/anti-meshichist/mushroom etc. He may be (in my not-so-humble opinion) destroying a mosad, a city, or even the whole Lubavitch. A real poshei Yisroel. But he’s still full of beauty and goodness. And you have to be able to see it.

R’ Avremel Levitansky (who’s yohrzeit will be marked just after Shavuous) once related:
When we first came to California, R’ Shmuel Dovid Raitchik (who was the senior shliach in California, having been sent there a number of years before the rest of us) had strong differences of opinion with Rabbi Cunin with regards to the methodology of carrying out our shlichus. The differences of opinion were such that each felt that the other was jeopardizing the chance of carrying out the Rebbe’s directives in the state.

Understandably they led to heated arguments, to the extent that Rabbi Raichik once asked of Rabbi Cunin: ‘Please, if you throw a bomb into my home (because you feel that I’m a hindrance to your shlichus), please take care to aim for my bedroom. My children are not at fault for my views, and there’s no reason to punish them. [Rabbi Levitansky added that Rabbi Raichik was not given to joking or exaggerations].
Nonetheless, even in the midst of their strongest differences, they never failed to come together every Shabbos in Rabbi Raichik’s house for cholent.

It’s not about not having differences. אין דיעותיהן שוות is an unavoidable reality. Rather it’s about finding the means of seeing beyond the differences. To view someone as we would our own child, in whom we manage to find all kinds of virtues, and for whom we find endless defenses for all of his faults. To look at every chossid with a right eye; - with a positive outlook.
It’s about changing our perspective.

So the next time you’re upset with someone, stop, take a deep breath, and look for something positive about him. Praise him a little. Love him a little.
That’s the first step towards experiencingכאיש אחד בלב אחד.

L’chaim! May we all do our part towards looking a bit more positively at each other, and through this may we be keilim for borcheinu Avinu kulonu k’echod, for all of the Eibishter’s brochos, until the main brocho of hisgalus of Moshiach Tzidkeinu TUMYM!!!
Hatzlocho Rabo!!
Rabbi Akiva Wagner