Lost in Translation

Learn a foreign language. It's on my long list of things to accomplish in my lifetime. But learning takes time. And effort. And not many people can speak a second language with a perfect accent.

In my company we deal with many foreign clients who live outside the US. Most of our foreign clients speak Spanish, but we've had Chinese and Arabic as well.

We have a really cool resource: an account with a translation service. We call the service, say what language we need, provide the clients information, and then they connect you with an interpreter and the client.

The first time that I used it was weird. Each translator is different. Some of them are totally impartial, repeating word for word what the client said, even speaking in first person as if they themselves said it.

Then there are the ones who insert themselves into the conversation like they are a part of our company. One interpreter kept telling me, "I told him that we are trying to help him, that we would like to offer him...". I thought it was funny.

Then there are the ones who try to joke with you like they are your best friend. Which makes me wonder what they are saying about us to the clients, when we can't understand. I'd imagine it would go something like this:

"Los estadounidenses están tan tonto, ¿no? Lo único que quieren hacer es engañar a usted fuera de su dinero. Vamos a ordeñar por todo lo que vale la pena. Tú y yo juntos, hombre. Podemos hacerlo."

Then there is the translation itself. I don't know how expanded other languages are, but what I do know is- it is impossible that what the client said in a two minute monologue can be translated into five words. Something was definitely lost in translation, or paraphrased:

"Dios bendiga a América, tierra que me encanta. Párese junto a ella, y guiarla a través de la noche con una luz de lo alto. Desde las montañas, a las praderas, A los océanos, blancos con espuma Dios bendiga a Estados Unidos, mi hogar, dulce hogar Dios bendiga a América, mi hogar, dulce hogar."

"He said- everything is in order." Yup.

I also wonder how the interpreter can remember everything I just said in order to accurately repeat it to the client. Then there is the awkward silence, if I am connected to the client but the interpreter has not come on the line yet, and neither of us can communicate.

I am picking up words here and there and responding even before the interpreter finishes translating. A funny thing happened once- the interpreter started telling the client what I was saying, and the guy interrupted and started speaking in almost perfect English. The interpreter was left with nothing to do but listen to us talk.

It is an interesting experience. I have some down time to sit back and 'watch the show' so to speak. It takes time to translate what I am saying, let the other person talk, and translate it again. So I take a break and get some other work done. Sometimes I put the call on mute and chat with my coworkers. 

Having a 'middleman' so to speak takes pressure off me in the case where the client is not happy, and makes the interpreter the 'bad guy'. He acts like a buffer, because my words are not actually making an impact.
It also gives me a chance to retract or change my words before they are related to the client.

Sometimes I don't know if I should say 'you are...' or say 'tell him that...' Theoretically I am speaking directly to the client, albeit through another person, but it feels weird to direct my words at the client, so mostly I end up saying, 'please tell him..'

It is weird not knowing how my words are being translated and explained. Of course translation is a funny thing. For some words there are many translations in a different language, and sometimes none at all. It is up to the interpreter's discretion how to translate it. Even in Google translate things come out weird or stilted or make no sense.

I know a lot gets lost in translation. Sometimes the meaning changes, sometimes the very best things you try to say comes across as cold or rude. Language barriers can be a big deal.

Which is why I will never marry a foreigner.