I don't have one. That is the problem. I. Don't. Have. A. Plan.
They say that preparation is everything. If you are prepared, you know what to expect. There are wedding planners, birth planners, building planners, disaster plans.
You want to build a building? Draw up a blueprint.
Want to run a day camp? Create schedules.
Starting a business? You definitely need a carefully well thought-out plan first.
Preparation is important because you anticipate possible problems that may arise along the way, and you prepare possible solutions. You are prepared for what is to come, and you know what to expect. Not everything will go as planned, but at least you are not going in blind.
A friend of mine had a wedding book since she was 5 years old. She kept it under her bed, and added things to it along the way. It was a dream book of sorts. A plan. The dress she wanted. The flowers she liked. The kind of ring she wanted to wear. Yes, it is cute when kids think about these things so far in advance. But maybe it is helpful to have a plan.
I always thought the people who planned out their whole life from the day they were born were nuts. How can you plan that far in advance? I barely know what I am doing tomorrow, let alone in 10 years from now. I always took the 'chiller' way. Take things day by day. Don't worry, be happy, everything will work out fine.
And somehow it always did.
I applied and got accepted to high school a week before it started. Same with most of my summer jobs, they were all last minute. The seminary I was supposed to go to closed down a few months before it was supposed to start. I got accepted somewhere else. I applied to college a week before the semester started, not knowing what else to do.
My life has just sort of flown gently by. Everything worked out some way or another. Maybe not how I would have liked. Maybe in retrospect I would have made different decisions.
I would love to have a plan. When I will get married, and to whom. When I will have my first kid. How many kids I will have. What kind of house I will live in. How much money I will make. How successful I will be in my career.
I would love to be able to plan all this, and more. But what I have come to learn is, that planning ahead very often does not work, and results in much frustration when it does not work out. I think it is great if you have a plan.
But don't forget Who is the Ultimate Planner. Life will turn out ultimately how G-d has decided it will.
My plan is to do my best, and hope that our two plans coincide.
Hit me.
I think the greatest difficulty for human beings, in general, is to learn to let go and accept that we can't control most, if not all, things.
ReplyDeleteI like planning because it makes me feel much more in control. But life is about learning that no matter how much you plan...you truly cannot control what happens, just how you respond. (Your friend's plans for her wedding made me laugh. That's not what I meant by planning ahead, though I'm sure she had a great time doing it!)
I think its important to have a balance. We need to have goals and plan accordingly, while simultaneously knowing, realizing, and trusting, that Hashem has a greater plan.
My philosophy is to open ALL the doors and let Hashem close the ones that are not for you...but if you don't open doors, Hashem can't help you go through them...
"But life is about learning that no matter how much you plan...you truly cannot control what happens, just how you respond. " Then why plan at all?
ReplyDelete"My philosophy is to open ALL the doors and let Hashem close the ones that are not for you" reminds me of the game 'guess who' where each player starts with all the people up, and through process of elimination puts them down one by one until they (hopefully) figure out who the person is.
But it's like a guessing game. I don't think we are supposed to go through life blindly guessing.
We have free will and with that comes taking action. We cannot wait for things to happen. Perhaps we are defining "planning" differently. We are meant to dream, have goals, and have things that we want to accomplish. We have short term and long terms goals. We plan accordingly to fulfill those. But we don't always know what is best for us and sometimes the plans do not go like you wanted them. But without planning, you can't accomplish...
DeleteI think an example would make more sense in what I'm trying to say. I'm NOT talking about planning a wedding, a relationship, or how your kids will turn out. I'm talking about setting a goal, i.e. becoming a nurse, teacher, or some other profession. We all have an inner drive/motivation for something that we feel connected to something and doing that gives us meaning and purpose. So we make a goal: becoming a nurse. In order to do that, we need to go to college or nursing school. So you look into the programs that most appeal to you and you apply. You might not get into the one that you wanted to go. You might have to take a standardized test ACT/GRE etc. So you make a plan of how to study for it and when to take it. You might not get the score that you wanted, but without planning the details, you can't possibly do well.
You are not going to get into any program without first applying. And applying requires many other details which you need to plan for.
Balancing life, school, relationships, and other obligations requires planning so that you can divide your time accordingly. Things WILL happen that will throw you off course and when that those happen, you are reminded, that you can't control everything.
We are not going thru life guessing...we are naturally drawn to certain things. We have unique interest, desires, and goals. We hope to accomplish them. So we open all the doors (apply to a bunch of schools, or to x number of jobs, etc) and then trust that Hashem will guide us in the right direction...
(I'm not sure if this post is coherent. I'm in class, totally multitasking, slash completely not paying attention).
:) The lesson here is, pay attention in class.
DeleteI hear what you are saying. It makes sense. It is also hard for me since I have a hard time making decisions. I like to throw up my hands and say 'show me the way'. And when that doesn't work, I'm stumped.
It is easier to let someone else make a decision for us. And sometimes Hashem does that, but most of the time, we need to use our free will and our sechel to make decisions. Life is about making decisions. I actually wrote about making decisions per request of a friend: http://princessofhashem.blogspot.com/2012/02/making-decisions-to-do-or-not-to-do.html
DeleteHaha, yeah, I know which classes I need to pay attention (fully) and which I don't. I happen to like/prefer challenging classes that I need to be hanging to every word, but alas, we can't control everything, huh? ;) lol
Life would be so boring with a plan. It would also set yourself for disappointment when the expectations are not met.
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree with that. As my friend says, "I am a pessimist. I expect the worst, and when things go right, I am pleasantly surprised."
DeleteI wish I knew what my life would be like. What do they say about the beauty of the unknown?
I've actually found that every time I set out with a plan, Gd shoves me in the other direction and though stressed in the middle, at the end I'm so much happier.
ReplyDelete:) I'm glad you are able to see the hand of Hashem so clearly.
DeleteIt sounds like you live in the present. All the psych and well-being texts point to that as the key to enjoying and appreciating life.
ReplyDeleteThis is true. But what about 'planning for a rainy day'? Can one remain entirely invested in the present and think about the future as well? Or is it one or the other?
DeleteYou can feel this way too if you plan and plan and it doesn't quite go your way, in either a major or minor fashion - or a seemingly minor fashion has ripple effects that last for a while.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I totally understand how you feel, though from a different angle of approach. Everyone needs to be organized, but flexible, and back up plans (not ad absurdum) are good ideas too. But when something doesn't work out, you've gotta roll with the punches... as hard as that can be sometimes.
On that note, here's a slightly modified quote from a book I enjoy:
Etain: Is there a plan C?
Fi: The nice thing about the alphabet, ma'am, is that it gives you plenty of plans to choose from.
Niner: Shut up, Fi.