Forgiveness

Forgiving someone is the hardest thing to do, especially if they never apologized.

It is hard
to forget
and move on.

Some people say
forgetting is easy
but forgiveness takes a lifetime.

I hate feeling
bitter and angry
towards you.

I hate
being mad
at how you treated me.

I hate
holding on
to the past.

And waiting
for the future
to make it all better.

It won't
get better
on its own.

Until I learn
to let go
and to forgive you.

I don't want to.
I want to hear you apologize
for everything you did.

I want to tell you
exactly how you made me feel
and hear you say how sorry you are.

But you will never know.
And you probably won't ever
feel sorry for what you did.

I have to forgive
without your apology.
I have to forgive on my own.

I try. Every night I say
"I forgive all those who wronged me"
thinking bitterly of you.

Maybe by Yom Kippur
I will find it in my heart
to forgive.

But my life
will never be okay
until I let go of those feelings.

I can't say it.
Because I don't forgive you.
But I will try.

They say forgiving
is one of the hardest
things to do.

But I will find it in my heart
one day soon
to forgive you.

And finally move on.