I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong
And he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the morning light
He’s gotta be sure
And it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life
They ask me what I'm looking for. I think about. What should I tell them? What is the most important qualities to be found in a person?
Do I want a rich man? But money comes and goes. It is but a small part of life.
Should I marry for looks? Looks can be deceiving, and the most handsome man may very well be the most shallow.
Career? Doctor, lawyer, politician? Does it matter? A man should do what makes him happy, not what society dictates as an esteemed career.
Red hair, or brown. Curly, or straight. Tall, short, in between. Blue eyes, or green. Colored shirts, or white. Dress pants, or jeans. Learning boy, or working. Does any of that really matter?
The answer is yes. Yes, and no.
In the scheme of life, nothing really matter. Specifics, don't matter. They don't. You learn that. You meet someone, they may seem great on paper. You can check off all the little boxes on your checklist. Maybe he gets a really high score.
And then, he is not for you. Why? Doesn't matter. Many different reasons. Which add up to one thing: G-d knows best. Not you. G-d.
What are you really looking for in a person?
"Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai said to them: Go and see which is the good a man shall cherish most. Rabbi Eliezer said, a good eye. Rabbi Joshua said, a good companion. Rabbi Yosi said, a good neighbor. Rabbi Shimon said, foresight. Rabbi Elazar said, a good heart. He said to them: I prefer the words of Elazar ben Arach to your words, for in his words yours are included."
A good heart. And everything follows.
That is what is important in life. A good heart.
As Rabbi Akiva said, Veahavta leraiacha kamocha zeh klal Gadol baTorah.
When they ask me what I'm looking for I'll tell them the truth- I need a hero. With a good heart.
I trust that the rest will fall into place.
Though it IS hard to say what you are looking for (because lets be honest, do you really ever know what is best for you?), there are personality traits and certain things that you learn from experience (and/or self introspection) that you realize you need or you realize you cannot deal with.
ReplyDeleteSo yes, a good heart is amazing and beautiful and everything else falls into place. But I think it is good and important to narrow down to three main things that you cannot compromise with and also be aware of those things that you know are not for you and that are "deal-breakers"
Thanks. I do agree with you. This is not my shidduch resume. Thanks for the tip.
ReplyDeletelol, right, I didn't think so ;)
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