For a second, I can't breath. It is literally a heartbeat, but in that heartbeat my lungs refuse to fill with air, my heart speeds up, my eyes lose focus and I still can't force air through my mouth. I hyperventilate. I tell myself that I am fine, that I am on solid ground, yet it feels like I am moving. The waves keep coming towards me, I see no land around me, and I am feeling nauseous. I thought it would be a freeing feeling, standing on a boardwalk suspended over the water. But the only thing I am feeling is nervousness and nausea. I shall never travel on a cruise ship. I like to be on solid ground.
Two classmates. Two, within two weeks of each other. That makes five out of thirteen. A pretty good ratio. But who is counting, right?
You stop being surprised after the first one, the second one more so. Why should you be surprised when it is to be expected? It is more like a pleasurable shock, a thrill. For a second I can't believe what my eyes see, but then I smile. I am euphoric. It is good, it is right.
After five, it is to be expected, but I don't feel ready. They keep coming, but I am not ready for this, for change. So you smile, you say, I knew she would be next, you wish mazal tov, and you wait for the next surprise.
I have two lechaims to go to on Sunday. My brother's, and my friend's. At least I won't have to dress up twice.
Mazal tov, and many more pleasant surprises.
that's how the community is.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean by that?
ReplyDeleteI was wondering the same thing.
ReplyDeleteI assume Anon was commeting upon the fact that, within the Author's community, there is a push for young women to get married ASAP upon finishing their formal education - thus wondering why the Author is surprised by the fact that her classmates are all getting engaged before their 21st birthdays.
ReplyDeleteThat is possible.
ReplyDeleteThat is not why I am surprised. After all, like you said it is too be expected. I think YOU seem rather surprised or condesending about it though.
What do you have against girls who get married before they can legally drink?
Surprised? No. Condescending? Certainly not.
ReplyDeleteWhat do I have against it? That's a long story not really condusive to be told in a twitter-type comments section.
1. Mazal tov
ReplyDelete2. My friend is terribly disappointed she didn't get to meet you, at the last minute she had to babysit :(
:) i was there around 11, i doubt she would have been there that late anyway. but oh well. maybe another time.
ReplyDelete