I didn't plan on coming, but I ended up here. It was like something pulled me here, a force I could not, and did not want to control.
It was freezing, but it was worth it. The water was so beautiful. It was peaceful, yet stormy at the same time. It was the perfect combination.
I let my mind empty of all thoughts, and let the waves and the sound and the sight roll over me like a soothing lullaby. It felt like... coming home.
I threw crackers to the seagulls, and laughed as they all scrambled to grab them. They looked at me with imploring eyes begging silently for more. I tried to throw some to the birds who were off to the side and looked like they couldn't fend for themselves, but the bully birds always got there first. I guess their natural inclination is fight for food or go hungry.
It was fun down till the last crumb, and then they lost interest in me.
I have a few sea shells to show for my visit today, but mostly it is something inside of me, something I can't explain, can't describe. It is a feeling.
Life throws me curve balls, and I do my best to deal with them as they come up. But sometimes I just need to get away from it all. Escape.
I found my place.
Nice piece - I'd argue that an "angst filled teenager" lacks peace, however.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you need to develope these thoughts more. This idea could make for a wonderful short story. have you ever thought about fiction?
You are right, that was a bad example.
ReplyDeleteI have thought about fiction. I wrote a short story once. But this is not fiction, this is real.
Here's my story: http://alta-b.blogspot.com/2009/08/nothing-is-forever.html
I have some comments, but not for a public forum.
ReplyDeleteOn my story? Why don't you comment there?
ReplyDeletei don't want to air any criticisms (positive or otherwise) here
ReplyDeleteI suppose you can email me if you feel the need to share it. Not that I relish criticism.
ReplyDeleteOne can never improve at their craft withut it. However, i have no interest in giving it if you don't really want to hear it.
ReplyDeleteBring it. I can take it.
ReplyDeleteWhere, pray tell, should i bring it to?
ReplyDeleteNevermind.
ReplyDeleteHaving strong ideas for stories isn't enough - without proper execution, all you have a is a good idea that you failed to get across properly and, therefore, failed to entertian your audience with. The people ehre are only going to tell you how awesome, amazing, wonderful and brilliant your work is.
ReplyDeleteIf you would like my CONSTRUCTIVE thoughts, you know how to reach me.
You are telling me I don't execute my ideas properly?
ReplyDeleteAnd that is not true. People give me criticism too.
In the one example you gave me, yes that is what i am telling you. Grammar is as important as content. If the story isn't written correctly, it loses something.
ReplyDeleteDevelopment of ideas is important as well (though I suspect this has more to do with the amount of time you are willing to put in, as opposed to anyhtign else.
But you seem to have it all under control, all figured out.
I'll just tell you how wonderful your stuff is instead :)
My grammar is just fine, and I am a good writer. I don't know what your point is, but if you have something specific to point out, then do so.
ReplyDeleteUnless you are some big time hot shot editor, don't act like you know more than me.
"My grammar is just fine". Well you have just told me everythign i need to know about you as a creative person. You have no ability to even entertain the idea that someone has more knowledge or experience than you - your entire experience, btw, being a BLOG.
ReplyDeleteI had an inkling that perhaps you wanted to grow as a writer but clearly this isn't the case. I shall fade into the background once more.
I hope my initial thoughts about you weren't erroneous....
You speak as if I care what you think.
ReplyDeleteIf yo want to give constructive criticism, or tell me how I can better my writing, then by all means do so. Don't wait until I give you permission.
In addition, my BLOG is not all the experience that I have, and you say it like it isn't even writing.
I don't feel like arguing. You will form your own opinions of me despite anything I say, so do whatever you want.
Are we talking about my short story, or my writing in general? If you want to give me suggestions, go ahead. If you want to insult my ability to write, or if you are trying to put me on the defensive, then no thank you.
Don't fade into the background, you might mess up the pretty swirls. Explode with a bang instead, leaving an inky mess all over that short story, and leave your resume behind.
ReplyDeleteES, I think you could work on your people skills.
are you telling me to write a short story?
ReplyDelete