It would be absurd if I told you that today I was granted one wish from an enchanted genie. (Yes the genie was enchanted, it's my story and I can tell it however I want.) It would be even more absurd if you believed me.
Well this genie rubbed her lamp and told me to wish whatever my heart did desire. So I thought and I thought, (it took me awhile cuz my heart desires a lot of things) and I finally came up with the perfect wish.
A new year is coming. Everyone complains all the time. Oh boy, we gotta pray, gotta ask for forgiveness, yadayadayada. What shall we do. So I wished that everyone would disappear, that I would live on my own universe all alone, and peace would rain upon the land.
Selfish? I think not. I'm doing all of you a favor.
As someone told me, I'm a misanthrope. Look it up.
You know what? Someone offered me a ride today. Two people did! And I thought, how nice, there are actually kind people in this world.
And then, after emailing tons of people about jobs, and not hearing back from any of them, I emailed them all again, and kindly informed them that I'm waiting, and I want an answer. And a guy called me, and said, 'You're aggressive. I like aggressive. Come in for an interview.' Yay! Thanks to my aggression, I might get a job!
I saw an almost drug bust, and an almost car chase. Ya, I know, almost doesn't count. Well, as I overheard from one of our very own, 'I really hope there's gonna be a car chase!' Too bad for you buster! It was just a quiet ole night out on The Avenue of Kingston. And as usual, I was watching...
Oh, and just in case you'd like to know, I told the genie to forget about it. I decided to give people another try. I hope they don't fail me again.
So, I got another wish. And I can't tell you what it was.
He likes agressive? I'm guessing bouncer or traffic ticket lady...
ReplyDeleteSo many people say ''Its human nature to want what he can't have'', but did you ever think about the implication of that phrase? It means we are never happy... Think about that.
No matter what we have and get, its never enough. For both Schopenhauer and Buddha life is a constat cycle of frustration and bordom.
When we have what we want we are bored and if we dont we are frustrated.
So in conclusion: ppl suck, and may your wish be granted.
what's the job that you might get?
ReplyDeleteoo a misanthrope, scary. Well, thanks for not making us all disappear, though I postulate all that would happen is that we would be transported to an alternate universe exactly the same as this one, except no Altie, which would mean no MoVing oN, which in turn would mean that I would not have a blog either! gee
ReplyDeletealright! Showin' spunk. Do tell what your new profession will be.
'So in conclusion: ppl suck, and may your wish be granted.'
ReplyDeleteAmen to that! But are you saying I'll never be happy no matter what I wish for?
Staples- no no, when I said disappear, I meant exactly that. Never was here, not anywhere else, just gone.
But I know, your life would suck if I wasn't in it. :)
Big n8t got it right!!! I'm gonna be a bouncer for the newest exclusive club in the city!!
(We have it all worked out. Me and friends are opening a bar. I'll be the bouncer, another friend the bar tender, and a 3rd, well, lets just say, the entertainment...
altie i think u need to be over 21 for that....
ReplyDeleteHey! you're not allowed to reveal my age online!
ReplyDeleteEver heard of fake I.D.?
one shuld hope that u are extremely well versed in fakeid-ism, for those intricacies will be your main responsibility as a bouncer
ReplyDeletelol yes I know that. I'll keep a magnifying glass with me.
ReplyDeleteLoy yimotzei becha shoel genies ki toavas Hashem kol oysey eyley.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I roughly understand that, but translation please, and connection?
ReplyDelete