Would you please let me be in your yeshiva

To the tune of: "Would you please let me sing in the choir"

Would you please let me be in your yeshiva?
I would come even if it was in Geneva.
I just want to wear a kippa.
And daven at the bima.
Would you please let me be in your yeshiva?

My white shirt is kind of stained.
My family doesn't have a big name.
I believe we are all the same.
I will try not to complain.
Would you please let me be in your yeshiva?

I want to learn with a chavrusa.
I would love to learn Gemara.
Please teach me some Torah.
I will buy a black fedora.
Would you please let me be in your yeshiva?

I want to try the mikva dip.
Night seder I will not skip.
I won't make illegal trips.
Vodka I won't sip.
Would you please let me be in your yeshiva?

I don't have lots of money.
Yes I know that is not funny.
But please can't you see.
It is the perfect place for me.
Would you please let me be in your yeshiva?

The Yeshiva world always mystified me. What goes on behind closed doors? I have heard outrageous stories, of filling the mikva with foam, drowning dorm rooms in popcorn, physical fights, passing around illegal alcohol, stealing dorm counselor's glasses, getting a fine for not making your bed, and all kinds of crazy pranks. The way boys make it sound, yeshiva is like camp, 24/7. But what are they not telling me? What really goes on in a yeshiva?

I once joined a boys farbrengin. No, I did not dress up and pretend to be a guy. Although, I was a Rabbi once in a play, and my costume and beard was so convincing that when I walked into the audience before it started to say hi to my mother, women's heads turned, like what the heck is a rabbi doing at a girls play?

This particular farbrengin was an impromptu event on a motzei Shabbos. One of the sons of the family I lived by called up his mother and said prepare some food, half the yeshiva is coming over for a farbengin. Turns out a boy was leaving yeshiva, so they had a farbrengin to give him chizuk and remind him to behave properly wherever he was.

I sat in the other room and I listened, until 2 in the morning. The way they spoke to each other, the way they sang the same song over and over and over again. I have been to many girls farbrengins in high school. Most of the time we would rush through a niggun and someone would suggest a new one. But the boys looped around and around on the same song for awhile.

And the way they 'rebuked' each other. I have heard from people that if girls spoke to each other at farbrengins the same way guys did, everyone would be in tears. That may be true. If you want to rebuke a friend, it has to come from a place of love, with only their best interest at heart.

It is much a curiosity of something I don't know anything about and probably never will. Is yeshiva as fun as people make it out to be? As awful? What is it really all about?

A well-known rabbi lives upstairs from my apartment. Every Friday night, he has a farbrengin in his house. I always see tons of boys going in and out. Sometimes, when I get back from my meal late at night, I sit on the steps and listen to them sing. There is something so nice about hearing a whole bunch of boys singing niggunim together.

No, I will never be a boy. I will never go to yeshiva. I am sure I will hear lots more stories about it, some true, some exaggerated, some made up. It seems to be a rival thing. I'm sure boys are curious about what goes on in girls high schools too.

So I will sit on the stairs, and listen in, to that mysterious world that I will never be a part of.

And I thank G-d 'She'asani kirtzono'.