Dear God

Dear God,

Some days I just don't feel like smiling. It's not even like I wake up and say 'okay today I will be in a bad mood and I won't smile at all.' Sometimes it just comes. Like last week. I got lost on the way to somewhere I had to be. No one likes getting lost, least of all me. It was early in the morning, too early for me. I was cold, and pissed off. No, I did not tell myself 'don't worry Altie, everything is hashgacha pratis, there is a reason for this, trust in God'. Even though all that may have been true.

But I was annoyed. And mad. At the guy who gave me directions that were technically right, but because I don't know Manhattan enough they turned out wrong. At the MTA for taking my money for the metro card, and then not taking me to where I needed to go. At the bus driver who didn't refund me even though I barely went one stop and he told me I needed to go back the other way. At the lady who told me it was Broadway when it was clearly NOT Broadway. At the guy who wanted a dollar from me for a coffee in exchange for pointing me in the right direction, which I already knew anyway. At the weather, for being cold when I had to walk like 10 blocks!! At the ice that made me fall in front of a whole bunch of men.

The only good thing that happened in all of that was that I called my father for directions. He knows Manhattan like the back of his hand, and oh ya, theres a little tracking device in my phone, so all Daddy has to do is look my location up online and voila! He knows where I am. It can come in handy when I get lost, OR it can be detriment for me trying to sneak around without him knowing. (Like when I get home after hanging out with the peeps and he says, 'you're not allowed to go on a highway.' And I stare at him suspiciously thinking, how did he... oh ya.)

Well he helped me out. And I FINALLY (after about an hour later than I should have been) got on the right subway. And got to where I needed to go. I was NOT happy. I was NOT smiling. (Okay I did smile after I texted a friend who cheered me up. :)

I have some good days, and some bad ones. And even WITHIN those days, I have good moments, and bad. I do not promise to be Superwoman, and be happy all the time. Honestly, I think people that smile and are happy all the time are creepy, and weird. Everyone needs some moping time. Some more often then others.

Anyways God, I do have a point in all of this. (Thank you for your time, by the way. I know you must be super busy looking for the husband that my sister is missing at the moment, and those run-away wives that my brothers can't seem to find, plus making a flu vaccine, and tossing the economy just to give people something to talk about, and oh ya, that man we call the president, thank God for that, cuz otherwise people who have no lives would be bored out of their minds and have nothing else to talk about, seeing as how now all they say is 'oh Obama. Don't get me started...' And uhu.)

I can't promise to be happy all the time. I can't even promise to be happy MOST of the time. But I will try, at least a bit more than I do right now, and believe me for me that's HUGE. So take it.

Also, thank you for sending me those little things that make me happy, like an email from someone nice who cares about me, or a 50$ check in the mail, or even a sunny day. Maybe it's my JOB to be happy and find reasons to be happy, but when you send me the reason, it makes my job so much easier :)

So thank you for all the little things. I really do appreciate it, even though sometimes I sound very ungrateful.

Sincerely,

Altie