There was a guy on the subway today playing christmas songs on his instrument (perhaps a saxafone, not sure.) They were very catchy tunes, and I was trying not to hum along. I was saying tehillim for my friends father, who is having heart surgery tomorrow. (Please say tehillim for yehuda leib yitzchok ben rochel leah. kapital 54) It just seemed so wrong. That all these people were unaware of what was going on, that they didnt care that my friend's father is in the hospital. And I was the odd one out saying psalms in an anciant language, as modern christmas tunes played in the background.
One of the songs said 'he knows when you're awake, and he knows when you're asleep.' If I didn't know what it as talking about I might have assumed G-d.
Tonight was another friend's sisters wedding. I had to go. I had math class tonight, we had a test. Thank you to a certain someone who helpped me, even though it was wrong of me to ask. Get home from school, change into my new pretty black dress I just bought, trudge to the wedding. Say mazal tov, dance with my friends.
My other friend is leaving Wednesday night/ early thursday morning. Happy for one friend, sad for another, trying not to think about the 3rd one leaving. Another friend just came to town, went to see her.
All I wanna do is go to sleep, run away, hide in a little corner. So much happening at once, my mind can't take it all in. Too many emotions, I wish they would all go away.
Trudging through the snow at midnight, leaving the wedding, walking with my friend, worried about the other one. Don't want her to go, but shes going anyway. Wanna write a sad mushy goodbye poem, but I'm not going to.
I wanna scream, I wanna cry, but right now I havta go to sleep cuz I'm waking up at 6 am to sub for someone.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay I feel better now. Funny how a little key can let out a lot of emotions.
Gnite world.
Ah, the notorious math tutor...
ReplyDeleteYou've got the most eye-catching post titles, don't you Altie?...
ReplyDelete(Anyway, I'm happy you use the 1/! key to solve your emotional needs and not perscription drugs!)
Tutor? Hi-He?
yes, I feel a bit cheated out of an incredible post. With that many exclamation points... not that this wasn't a nice post, and I'm sure there's lots behind it that the reader doesn't understand, but still, I thought maybe you were going to space camp, or something huge
ReplyDeletefor lack of a better title... according to my friend, ppl write !!!!!!!!!!!!! as their status if theyre getting engaged, but alas, that is not the case here. sorry to disappoint you yossi. thnx for reading.
ReplyDeleteyeah "!!!!!" definitely stands for "i'm about to get engaged" or "i'm about to have contact with really good pizza"
ReplyDelete!!!!! I am pathetically sitting on a snowy log leechning wireless to read this.
ReplyDeleteDont run away from the emotions embrace them.
Thats the only cliche thing I can muster. My ears are about to fall off.
feivel, u dont know how hard it is to embrace emotions, when all u want to do is push it away, get mad instead of crying, and ignore it so it doesnt actually happen. I'm learning, but it isnt easy.
ReplyDeletethank u for coming to the wedding even wen all these things were happening thank u
ReplyDelete:) you know i couldnt have missed it. plus, i got to show off my new black dress, so we both benifitted!
ReplyDelete