There are so many bumper stickers on facebook that say exactly what I'm thinking, and feeling. But it all seems so fake. I want it to be MY words and MY thoughts on there, not someone elses.
She left. And she also left. They both left. Now I'm here all alone, and it's kind of sad. I know that in a few weeks it'll be easier to deal with, it will be better, it won't hurt as much. But they'll still be gone, you know? As much as you say, 'oh but they're only a phone call away', it'll never be the same.
They are my witnesses to what we got up to. Now who'll be there to verify that I didn't make up half the stuff I did? And who'll be there to hug me when it gets bad? And to laugh with, and cry with, and all that other stuff?
Hello world. This is me calling. I know you're out there. I'm sorry that I'm not my usual happy self right now. I'm sorry that I'm letting out all my emotions on you. I'm sorry that I'm sad. But what can I do?
I wish that I could sit there pouting until someone asks me what's wrong. Maybe I'll go to Manhattan and get one of those 'free hugs'. I can really use one right now.
It'll be okay, it'll be okay, I know. And when you ask me how I am and I say I'm fine, and then you tell me to stop BSing you cuz you know I'm not fine, what I really mean to say is, that I WILL be fine. I know I will.
Just right now I'm not, and that's okay.
.....you can get a free hug in Manhattan?
ReplyDeleteya, just walk up to one of those guys who holds a sign that says 'free hugs' and get a hug.
ReplyDeleteWell, G-d knows I wouldn't go to a guy. Maybe there're some ladies there..
ReplyDeletePretty funny idea though. First time I'm hearing of it.
They're right. You will be fine, and it will get better. In the meantime though, don't hide how or what you're feeling. It's always better to show it and express it. That's part of the healing. Take it from someone's who's been there, and back. Good luck! :-)
ReplyDelete:) thanks!! i just feel like im being a nuisance to everyone, telling everyone im sad, crying, pouting, asking for hugs. yes i know its better then avoiding it altogether, but how many sad facebook statuses can u have until u feel better????
ReplyDeletePerhaps you're tired? Sometimes I feel abnormally sad but really I'm just exhausted.
ReplyDelete:) maybe thats due to the fact that ive been up for 36 hours
ReplyDeleteoh dear, and i'm with family, but still seeeeethinggggggggggggg
ReplyDeleteMaybe HAPPY facebook status will make you feel better?
ReplyDeletemaybe, maybe.
ReplyDeletelars whats up with you?
Altie, if they're your true friends and really care about you, then they won't consider you a nuisance. Oh, and you can have as many sad FB statuses as you want. It's YOUR FB and YOUR statuses. Hope you're doing better today. :-)
ReplyDelete:) thanks jill! i am, b''h, sara was right i was just tired. today im fine. and u think if i make a lot of !!!!!!!!!!!!!! when im ty;ping to people it makes me happier? lol
ReplyDelete:) have a good shabbos!