The little engine that Could

I've known my whole life,
they've always told me,
offhandedly,
that I can.

"You are so strong."
"You are so smart."
"You have so much potential."
They made it clear.

They expected more from me.
Me.
For no reason.
Just because.

It is a false security.
"I am smart."
"I am capable."
"I can do it if I try."

Like an alcoholic in denial,
"I just don't want to."
But I can.
I think.

Can I?
Maybe.
Will I?
I don't know.

If you want something
really badly
you try really hard
to get it.

You don't stop
until you have it.
The question is
how badly do you want it?

The little engine
that could
did.
Because it believed.

Can I?
Will I?
I guess time will tell.