Distractions

There is always something else going on. Always someone talking to you. Things to do, people to see.

I make an effort to daven on my way to work every day. It is not so easy with having to transfer, the train swaying, feeling like people are staring at me. But I got used to it, and it is a part of my daily routine.

I know myself. I know my schedule. I don't like disruptions. But some things are not fully in our control. Or are they?

She came onto the bus and smiled in recognition. She sat down next to me. We caught up. How is she doing, what is she up to now, how I am, what my job is, etc etc. I was holding my siddur in my hand, glancing at it from time to time. Thinking, I really should daven. But instead, I chatted with a friend.

My day felt very off balance. Empty, even. Like something was missing.

A few days later, I was standing on the bus davening. She came on. I smiled at her. I said hello. Then I said, I am going to daven now so I'll talk to you later. It felt so '7th grade', like I am better than you and holier than you. It was a little awkward.

Then I looked up and saw her pull out her siddur and begin to daven too.

Distractions are not easy but they are a part of life. Will you let them cloud your vision and take you away from what is important? Or will you stand up for what is right?

I never thought that would be me.