Thank you for your thank you card

When I was little, my mother would have us send thank you cards to my grandparents for the birthday cards/gifts they sent us. The cards were written 'from us' in my mom's beautiful curly penmanship. Right, like I could ever write like that. We were taught to say thank you, and to show appreciation to someone for the things they do for us.

I recently got a thank you card in the mail from a friend, thanking me for the wedding gifts I got her. She referred to them specifically, giving examples of how she is getting lots of use out of them. I thought it was a nice gesture, if a bit artificial. It took me a second to even remember what I bought her from her registry.

What is the purpose of a thank you card? Is it for the giver, or the receiver? Do I need acknowledgment for my gift? Does she feel the need to thank me for it? Is it just a formality?

I honestly don't care. Besides for the fact that I like getting mail which is not bills or junk, I don't need a thank you. I did something nice for the sake of doing it. The end.

My mom stopped writing thank you cards for us. My grandmother sends us birthday cards religiously every year for our birthdays. I take is as a part of life, I don't know any differently. This year, she included a note that embarrassed me. It said: "Don't forget to send a thank you card". I thought, is she insulted, does she need me to thank her for the card and check? Or is she trying to teach me a good value?

I dutifully sent her a glowing thank you card, in my own messy scrawl. I do appreciate the birthday card. I just forget to say it.

Saying thank you is for both the giver and the receiver. I give a gift because I want to and it makes me happy to get you something nice. You say thank you because you appreciate it and you want to show me how grateful you are for my gift. Your thank you makes me feel warm and acknowledged, and it is a good feeling. So it works for everyone.

"Thank you for your thank you card thanking me for my thank you card which I sent as thanks for the wonderful gift you sent me. I really appreciate it. I will be sure to send you a few more thank you cards, and I in turn await your thank you to my thank you card."

..........

And it can go on forever.

Thank you, and G-d speed.