The choice is mine

I am leaving, again. I feel like I live life on the go, like I'm constantly moving. In the past 5 years, I've been home for a total of 12 months, in all. It is my choice, yes, but it is not easy.

I wish I could skip a few years, and move on to the next stage. Just be married already, settle down, know where I'm going in life, and stay in one place for awhile.

Everyone tells me to live my life, enjoy it, don't rush it. They say these are the best years of my life, I'm free, I can be selfish, focus on myself, travel, discover the world.

And I know they are right. I'm in Israel for the year. This is my chance to live it up, make memories, learn, and grow. I should enjoy this stage of life, and not try to jump into the next one. Take it slowly, savor it, and don't rush my life by.

I don't feel like going back. I'm home, I'm on vacation, I can do whatever I want, and answer to no one. (Besides G-d) In school, you have to follow rules. You have to go to class, not break curfew, not go places you're not allowed to. Ok, I'm not saying I actually follow the rules, but there are rules in place. Though I see them more as suggestions.

But I'm going back anyway. I have nothing to do at home. I'll be bored, and waste my time. I want to see my friends, I want to get back into schedule, and I want to finish up what I started.

I'm getting on that plane tomorrow. The way I see it is, I can aproach it in one of two ways. I can hang my head, drag my feet, and whine to who ever will listen that I don't want to go.

Or, I can be happy about it, excited, look forward to opportunities. Make the best of it, enjoy the last two months, and make it an experiance worth remembering.

The choice is mine. Life is full of choices. We are taught, coached, prepared, and molded, so that one day we can be set free, and hopefully make good decisions, and make the people who raised us proud.

I might cry tomorrow. I might be nervous about traveling. I might have a lot of emotions going through me. But I hope that when it comes down to it, I will try to make the right choice, to make myself proud.

And in 10 years from now, I will use this story on my children, as an example of choices, and hopefully they will learn from it, and have the strength to make the right decisions in life.