It is so frustrating!!! This time of year is so familiar. I walk the streets and hear shouts and squeels of "omegosh, omegosh, omegosh!!!!!!! I haven't seen you in soooo looooong!!!! Hi!!!!!!!!" I see groups of girls congregrating everywhere. It brings back memories, of another time, same place.
Ya I used to be in high school. Ya, I'm old now. Ahhhh, once so young and pure, and now, a little older and less pure.
I saw some girls I'm friends with who are still in high school. We are from two different worlds and suddenly, I can't relate to them. They are complaining about school and teachers and production and tests, and I think about my life. My life, how it was supposed to be so different.
I wonder if these girls will be dancing at my wedding soon, and if to them I will always be the 'older girl who was once in high school with us and was so much fun and cut class all the time but is now old and so boring.' No, I have no desire to get old whatsoever. Old people scare me.
My grandmother celebrated her 80'th birthday today. Ka''h, may she have many more happy and healthy years. But still, I'm scared to grow old.
So what do you do when you are done with high school, finished seminary, the 'system' which you never wanted to be a part of in the first place has no place for you anymore...? Um, get married?
Good plan. Now I just have to find the right guy. (And in my head, the song 'where oh where' is playing merrily.... tralalalalalala)
You follow your dreams, whether it's getting married, going to college or law school, getting a job, etc., you follow. You find your path, what works for you. And just think, in a few years, those girls will be where you are right now. Everything comes full circle.
ReplyDeleteBtw, you're NOT old. Far from it. (But I do know what you meant.)
I'm with Jill-everyone needs to find what they love to do and go ahead and do it.
ReplyDeleteThe system works for kids, but at some point we must grow up and take responsibility for our own lives.
To me, marriage is not a step. Once it is all figured out, and seems easy, we can complicate our lives with a partner and children. But that is in addition to what we are already accomplishing.
C: You are planning on waiting until you have life figured out, and it all seems easy? I'm afraid you may be waiting for a very long while... Life doesn't lend itself to "figuring out" too often.
ReplyDeleteLazy-how old are you?
ReplyDelete18. And yes, I realize that you are a good few yeards older, and that it's kind of funny for me to say that. But... I think some things are just obvious regardless of age, which is why I said it. At 18, I firmly believe that I will never completely figure out life. And that's borne our by people much older than I.
ReplyDeleteOK. At 18, I thought so too :).
ReplyDeleteIt's not about knowing exactly how every day will be for the rest of your life. For me its a general direction-I know who I am, I know what I want to do and where I want to be.
I am moving forward in that direction. I have figured out my life, and have accomplished a lot. At this point, I can handle pretty much all that life has dealt me, BH.
I'm still not in a hurry to get married (as marriage is complicated), but maybe it is time I think about it, cuz I have everything else figured out.
So to answer your question: I don't have to wait. I'm already there.
Now I understand what you meant. I thought you were talking in more specific terms. Yes, I'd hope you'd figure out your life's direction before you drag another person into it ;).
ReplyDeleteYup.
ReplyDeleteIn order to share you life with somebody, you must have a life to share.
Profound... What happened to your blog by the way?
ReplyDeletewow now u guys are freaking me out. its too late at night for this.
ReplyDeleteLazy-Thanks.
ReplyDeleteTruth be told though, that some people would disagree. Those people do not have a sense of identity before marriage, and create a life with their partner. That could never work for me though.
It is private.
Altie-Late at night is the best time to have these convos!
It's never too late to comment... The later it gets, the more bored I become :).
ReplyDeleteIf someone doesn't have a sense of identity, I don't think they'd be able to choose a partner...
ReplyDeletePrivate meaning the blog is private or what happened is private?
It's very simple to choose a partner that way-based on how they make you feel.
ReplyDeleteThe blog is private. What happened is pretty simple-I edited the settings.
I was assuming a certain level of depth and self-awareness when making such a choice... Obviously, there are people that operate on a completely shallow plane, but that doesn't make it a thought-out opinion...
ReplyDeleteNot all people are deep. And that's OK.
ReplyDeleteAnd you know what they say about assuming...
Gee, you sound almost like a teacher ;).
ReplyDeleteSeen any of my friends? I wish I was there :)
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting that you think that, b/c I know some post-sem girls who think like you, but I also know some who think otherwise - that now they can be 'so much fun' (and help high school girls 'cut class' :),) b/c they have more freedom than when they were in high school...
But it's true that the 'system' has no place for post-sem girls. You know my opinion on that...
Lazy- :)
ReplyDeleteGuess I got lucky-I've wanted to be a teacher since I was in 6th grade. The system has really catered to my needs.
Although, that's not my only job..
Mushkie: I know I'm not allowed to read/comment on your blog, but what are the rules of engagement on someone elses?
ReplyDeleteC: Haha the system really catered to your needs? I haven't heard that one before :). Is early-childhood education where your heart is, or do you plan on focusing on a different age eventually? By other jobs do you mean possible careers or just things you do to make the rent?
lazyboy, lol sounds like ur interviewing her.
ReplyDeleteAnything to increase your comment count... ;)
ReplyDeleteJust to point something out-
ReplyDeleteC said: "The blog is private. What happened is pretty simple-I edited the settings."
Then right after, Lazyboy said: "I was assuming a certain level of depth and self-awareness when making such a choice... Obviously, there are people that operate on a completely shallow plane, but that doesn't make it a thought-out opinion..."
Did anyone else laugh at that? I thought it was funny
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletesigh. yes, I know, lazy
ReplyDeleteSorry, I fell asleep and just woke up. My sense of humore needed some warm-up time :).
ReplyDeletethat's okay! if you want to read something funny, I suggest the recent article on COL: Confessions of a Shliach. Well written and hilarious
ReplyDeletehehehe you guys are funny. lazyboy, i have no need for the joke of the day calendar. all i need to do is write a post aand watch the comments roll in.
ReplyDeleteYossi: Lol thanks. I needed a laugh, and that was it. I remember as a kid when the Kinus was the time we got to eat all the foods my mother never let us have. Paaaaarty :).
ReplyDeleteAltie: And you thought you needed reasons to keep bloggin?
not reasons per se. usually i just need ideas for new posts. but it is nice to know that people actually read my blog and comment. im gonna make you my number one favorite commentor.
ReplyDeleteHaha thanks. Do I get a certificate lol?
ReplyDeleteyup. it is in the mail.
ReplyDeleteUh oh... Was this your care package trick in disguise? Have I been fooled?
ReplyDeleteYou absolutely follow your dreams, and sometimes it takes you a little while to realize where those dreams are going to take you and what they are. 10 years ago if you had told me that my dream job would be me being an Orthodox Rabbi, then I would have laughed at you; but here I am 10 years out of HS, and I want to be a Rabbi, at least a teacher for sure. Dreams are weird though, sometimes it isn't until after you have been on the path for a while that you can look back and realize it was the right path for you all along. As my Rabbi said a couple of weeks ago, "the good ones always find themselves in the right places at the right times." (He was talking about me) but still it works. How's this for my first comment in about a week? :)
ReplyDelete:) thanks daniel, I'm glad you werent scared off.
ReplyDeleteLazyboy- lol ya it's my plan to get you in trouble. Look out for a big package. It's your early shaloch manos.
Jill-I love your profile picture!
ReplyDeleteLazy-Right now, I love what I'm doing! I always thought I would teach older children, and the first few weeks of nursery were torture, but now that I've learned the tricks of the trade and am great at my job, this is exactly what I want to be doing right now.
However, I cannot imagine teaching preschool if I would have children at home that age. But I guess I always want to be involved in early-childhood ed - either at home or in the classroom. I am actually pursuing a Master's in the field.
With regards to my dabbling in other areas-I spent 2 years helping shluchim on campus, and I do look at those years as crucial to my future - especially since I do want to go on shlichus.
I also work for Birthright-which is more of a passion than a career.
Yossi-I actually noticed that, and got a kick out of it. I started to respond to that, but I knew what Lazy was getting at and I didn't feel like starting a tangent. It was nice of you to share the humor though :).
Altie: Yeah, it's like Happy Purim!! You're kicked out!! :).
ReplyDeleteC: I'm not going to ask any more questions, because I don't want to play into Altie's interviewing thing :).
C+Yossi: Ok... I realize now that I have to specify which sentence in each comment I'm replying to... ;)
lazy- please don't change from something I said. it's fun to read into what someone says in a way different than what they meant.
ReplyDeleteAnd some people davka try to write that way, which is even more amusing
Yossi: I was kidding. I wasn't planning on clarifying every time :).
ReplyDeleteok. suit yourself. by the way, you say you're 18?
ReplyDeleteI do. Why?
ReplyDeletehuh. 'cause when I was your age, I was 19.
ReplyDeleteReally?
ReplyDeletehttp://poemsbyshelsilverstein.blogspot.com/2009/01/poem-by-shel-silverstein-pg-159.html
ReplyDeleteI read every poetry book of his as a kid. That one isn't as poetic as it is funny. Most of his poems are really good!
ReplyDeleteI completely missed the reference :). Most of his poems were also cynical. He hated kid's lit.
ReplyDeleteickle me, pickle me, and tickle me, too!
ReplyDeleteyossi, i dont think you would tasrte good pickled.
ReplyDeleteAltie, I'd have to agree with you. With a bit of BBQ sauce, he might be quite delicious though.
ReplyDeleteNo no no no no. We dont put BBQ sauce on pickles. unless you were talking about pickling something else... in which case, what ca u pickle that would taste good with BBQ sauce?
ReplyDeleteyou hear that yossi? we're gonna BBQ you. yay. lets break open a bottle of wine and have ourselves a party.
Lazboy, (I feel like I'm spelling it wrong without the y :) ) the rules go like this: in real life, I don't talk to boys. Fake life is dreams.
ReplyDeleteAltie: Pickled Yossi of course! And I happen to think that Pickled Yossi would go very well with BBQ sauce and tortilla chips. Oh, and a nice refreshing beer.
ReplyDeleteMushkie: Technically you would be... So in "fake life" anything goes?
hahaha wait till yossi hears that. ok cool, but i dont drink beer. youre gonna havta get me a diet coke. and you can do the BBQing, i'll make the salad. deal?
ReplyDeleteDeal. Let's put some pickled Yossi in the salad, ok?
ReplyDeleteWhat, so now we're gonna split him up? some in the salad and some on the grill? poor yossi...
ReplyDeleteindeed
ReplyDeleteThe food talks!!
ReplyDeleteMushkie said: "In real life I don't talk to boys, fake life is dreams."
ReplyDeleteYou are living in fantasyland if you think that the internet is not real and nor are the relationships you develop therein.
i agree with yossi 100%. But thats a totally different topic.
ReplyDeleteAltie: So what? I'm not too picky over what discussions I participate in... Lol.
ReplyDeleteYossi: I wholeheartedly agree. In fact, I'm rather good friends with someone whom I got to know mostly online and through texts. And I don't feel as if the friendship is any less real because those were the primary mediums for communication.
ok here's my opinion: if you're gonna do something 'wrong', at least be honest about it and don't try to convince yourself that theres anything right about it. if in 'real' life you have a no talking to boys policy, then it should be the same online. no chatting, emailing, messaging, or commenting with boys. but if you do those things, at least dont lie to yourself and say you dont talk to boys at all.
ReplyDeleteIn all fairness to Mushkie, who *did* ask guys to stay off her blog... It's a bit different because it is both harder to create a real relationship (of any kind) without some face-to-face interaction, and easier to keep it at a superficial level. Not that that excuses a double standard (for lack of a better term) when it comes to the guy/girl saga :)
ReplyDeleteOooh.. so much to say on this topic!!
ReplyDelete1. Talking to guys online is still talking to guys. The internet is not a fake world where nothing matters.
2. Although talking to guys online is a level of speaking to guys-it is NOT the same as speaking in person.
3. When interaction between two people exists solely online, there is no relationship.
C, i agree with 1 and 2 but on 3 i beg to differ. Even in chat emotions and feelings come through. it may not be as REAL as interacting with them in person, but it IS real relationship that can lead to good or bad.
ReplyDeleteI think online interaction can lead to a relationship, but it is not a real relationship on it's own merit.
ReplyDelete"Relationship" is a very vague term...
ReplyDeleteIs this the time to throw in the in-vogue debate over Facebook and other forms of social networking, and their effects on our communication skills ;)?
one thing's for sure. Buzz is super annoying. and so is this snow. (okay, two things).
ReplyDeleteand I have the best story about meeting someone online... but I don't think I can say it here (cryptic smile)
hahahahaha you're still talking about buzz? yossi yossi yossi. and cmon the snow is pretty, at least from this side of the glass.
ReplyDeletei wanna hear your story. i expect it to be in my inbox in 10 minutes. (someone told me being bossy really works.)
I don't know... even if I did tell you guys, I tell it way better in person.
ReplyDelete(as with most of my posts)
ReplyDeleteright cuz you tell your posts in person. ok coffee?
ReplyDeleteno, that's never gonna happen :).
ReplyDeleteand yes, of course I tell posts in person. Most of my stories, some of the funny outlooks on life... my friends have interesting opinions about me, my stories, and my blog
:) worth a try. nu, blog it.
ReplyDeleteno no no. couldn't do that. a major person in my story reads my blog.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteoooooo your MOM! now i want to hear it even more.
ReplyDeleteno, not MY mother.. but I've said way too much. how bout you go back to talking about pickling me in BBQ sauce, or whatever was the topic before
ReplyDeletehey, YOU started talking about yourself. you dont think people will get curious?
ReplyDeleteok fine. how do u like your stakes, well done, medium rare?
or going back to the latest topic. I have a fairly solid relationship with someone, and although I met him only once for about six seconds, we became friends, because of our conversations and such online
ReplyDeleteI like my stakes burnt. as in: "at the".
ReplyDeleteyou mean steak.
all i can say is: hahahahahahaha . sorry, my bad.
ReplyDeleteYossi- 1. The snow is amazing!!!! We went to Rochester Park and had the time of our lives!! :)
ReplyDelete2. OK, so curious, and I think you tipped me off.
2.!!!!???? You know??? man, loose lips sink ships...
ReplyDelete1. yes, the snow is amazing, if you can spend time to enjoy it. for me, it's just an annoying obstruction for going to yeshiva and back, and reason to push off my BoA atm visit
I couldn't agree more with everything here :)
ReplyDeleteexcept the burnt at the stake bit