How can you doubt it?

Leaves crunch under my feet, and I inhale the fresh scent of trees, and pine needles. I feel so alive, at one with nature. A soft breeze blows around me, and I hear birds twittering away in the background.

The first thought that pops into my head is, how beautiful is this world that Hashem created, and how lucky I am that I was given the chance to live in it. And my next thought is, how can someone live their life, and possibly doubt the existance of G-d, or that He is the creator of the world?

I see G-d wherever I go. When the sun rises, I know G-d is behind it. When the moon lights up at night, I know it's Him too. When I find 100$ on the floor, or my cake turns out good, when I'm late for the bus, but it's miraculously still there, when I cross the street safely without getting hit, I know with certainty that G-d is orchestrating it all.

I do have my doubts. Every human goes through life with questions, always thinking, what if, or why? Sometimes I doubt we have a purpous here. Maybe G-d just created this world, and put us here for His own enjoyment, to watch us suffer. Maybe it's all a lie, and we don't really exist.

Sometimes I doubt that G-d knows what He's doing, or that He made a mistake. When He gives me a problem that I don't think I can handle, I feel like saying, I'm sorry G-d, I think you have the wrong person.

When I learn Torah, and read about all that G-d did before I came along, sometimes I think He did it wrong, that maybe if I wrote history, it would have turned out better.

There is so much room to doubt, and question everything. As a person who is constantly thinking, I do that a lot. It's ok to have doubts, it's normal. But one thing I know with certainty, one thing I am sure about with my entire being, is that G-d exists, and He runs every aspect of this world.

With every breath I take, I know it, and I feel it. I have faith in G-d, even when things go wrong. Because yes, bad things do happen, and we don't understand why. I question G-d's intentions, but I never doubt that He exists.

There was a beautiful couple on shlichus in Mumbai, doing the Rebbe's work, and bringing yidishkeit to the far corners of the world. They were killed by terrorists, for no reason at all, except that they were Jews. The whole world was shaken up. They cried, they screamed, they were mad at G-d and questioned, why? Why kill the good ones, what did they do wrong?

I asked the questions along with everyone else. I was dissapointed in G-d. How could He have done something like that? But then I realized, who am I to question Him? I believe He had a reason for it, though I'll never know.

A woman is being tried on a murder trial. She is accused of killing her 2 year old daughter. I cried when I read that. Why would a mother do that? Why would she kill such a gorgeous, innocent child? How I see it is, G-d put the knife in her hand, but she made the choice to kill.

When I see a car crash, when I see bad people being set free, when I look at the situation is Israel, I want to cry. None of it makes sense. Why does G-d let bad things happen? Why are we still in golus, when G-d promised us we would be taken out?

When the world is in confussion, when good people suddenly turn bad, when people kill for no reason at all, steal, cheat, abuse others, I want to scream, and cry, and demand of G-d to stop. I question G-d all the time, even though it's not my place. But He gave me emotions, and a brain, and free choice.

I don't have the answers. It makes no sense to me, and trying to understand gets me no where. But when I hear someone say, I don't believe in G-d, show me where He is. How can you see Him in this 'evil' world? My only response is, how can you not believe? How can you doubt that G-d created this world, and is making it run so perfectly?

Everywhere I look, I see Him, I know He's there. He watches every move you make, every breath you take, every thought that runs through your mind. I see the hand of G-d so clearly, as if it was a picture in the sky.

So tell me, please, how can you possibly doubt that He exists?