Where are you

I looked for you today,
in the shafts of sunlight coming through the trees.

I tried to see you,
in the leaves dancing across the street.

I listened for you,
in the sound of the wind rushing by my ears.

I tried so hard to find you,
wondering where you were.

I forgot,
as I sometimes do.

That you are right here,
by my side.

It is hard to remember,
as the sheen of tears in my eyes blind me.

It is hard to remember,
when I am hurting.

It is hard to remember,
that you hurt with me as well.

Indeed, G-d, you were right here by my side.
All along.

And you would never leave me.
I believe that with all my heart.

And yet,
I wish you would show yourself.

And not make me wonder.

I will keep looking,
until I am sure that I have found you.

Until I am certain,
that you are here, and everywhere.

Until my hearts feels it too.