Fear

My heart is pounding in nervous anticipation. There is no turning back now. I grip the handle tightly, so tightly my knuckles turn white. I think. It is pitch black and I can't see a thing. 13 stories. That's what they say. I feel us going up. I am slightly nauseous. No screams will help. No one can save me now.

The door opens. I can see outside. It is such a great view. Gorgeous. I can see for miles. We hang there, suspended.

And then we drop. 13 stories. I hear myself scream. My mouth is wide open and I can't breath. My stomach goes up as my body falls down. I am free falling.

And then we go up. And fall all over again. It is the scariest feeling.

Thrill. That's what it is called. People enjoy getting thrills. Because it makes their heart pound and their head rush and it makes them feel alive.

Some people bungee jump. Some people jump out of planes. Some people go on roller coasters.

I went on The Tower of Doom in Disney World. An elevator that keeps on dropping you until you scream, until you are so scared that you dread the next fall, and at the same time you crave it, that feeling of nothingness, that feeling of not being in control. The thrill of the fear.

Humans can only take so much fear at one time. We have a natural fight or flight mentality. When we are scared, our natural instinct is to run.

In little controlled doses, such as a daring ride or a horror movie, it is a thrill. Too much, and it turns into a terror.

I think I left my stomach behind on that ride. And that was thrill enough for me for my entire lifetime.

Hope everyone is having an awesome Pesach! I am truly enjoying my vacation.

Be well.