You never knew

You never knew that I cried, when you told me my picture wasn't good enough.

You never knew how hard I had it, when I didn't speak about my family.

You never knew how much it hurt when you didn't accept me in your little 'clique'.

You never knew what kind of person I really was, when I just showed you what I thought would make you accept me.

You never knew that I was a good writer, because you never bothered to read my stuff.

You never knew that I cared, because I didn't let you see it.

You thought I was tough.

You thought I was guarded.

You thought I had a wall around me and didn't let people in.

You didn't know that words hurt me.

I must be a great actress, because you never knew how I was feeling.

I didn't tell you because you never bothered to ask.

You never knew because I didn't wear a sign on my head that said "Tough on the outside, but vulnerable and sensitive all the way".

I hate when you tell me how tough I am, you make it sound like people should be scared of me and not the other way around. While I feel so flimsy sometimes, ready to fall apart.

You never knew any of this, because I put up a good front.

Because sometimes the only way to get through life is to show people you are tough. That you don't care.

It's funny when you tell me what you think I'm like, and you are generally wrong.

You want to think I'm tough, I'm guarded, I'm closed, that I don't care and don't get hurt at all? You want to think that nothing matters to me, that I don't get fazed by anything?

That's okay. I will take your words and try not to let them pierce me. I will harden my wall even more, because you never bothered to climb over it.

You never knew I was vulnerable- and that's how it should be.

Because if you knew, that would give you the power to hurt me. And really, I am my only defense.

Maybe it's best you never knew.