But-

I want to be happy but-
My head is spinning.
2 cups of eggnog had I.

I want to be happy but-
I'm so confused.
Keep thinking how, why?

I want to be happy but-
this makes no sense.
It's like one big joke.

I want to be happy but-
I don't get it.
I think I need an ice cold coke.

I want to be happy but-
I had no idea.
She didn't tell me at all.

I want to be happy but-
we grew apart.
She didn't even call.

I want to be happy but-
it kind of hurts.
Though I'd never tell her.

I want to be happy but-
I'm dazed and confused.
Everything is a blur.

I want to be happy but-
I should be happy.
This is not about me.

I want to be happy-
so very happy.
I'm just not sure how this could be.

One text
that brought it all
crashing down
around me.

I can't think.
I need another drink.
Something strong.

I don't know how
I didn't see it.
Maybe I was wrong all along?

But I paste my smile on.
And say the words
she wants to hear.

Cuz friends we used to be
until the day
she disappeared.

Right now I need some sleep
cuz I don't know what's up
and what's down.

Things are moving
way too fast
I think I might just skip town.