There was a moment, when we all ended up in the same room together, everyone just chilling, lounging around, when I thought: this is it. My whole family is here. We haven't all been together since my brother's wedding in April. It was us, plus the additions: sister in law, brother in law, and two nieces.
Being home brings out the best in us:
Swapping boots with my sister for lip gloss.
Sitting and talking with my mother for an hour.
Walking with my sister even though I wanted to walk ahead.
My little brother being civil to me for a change.
Talking and laughing, about whatever.
Being home brings out the worst in us:
Me and my youngest brother (14) having a slapping fight at the table.
My family is not 'conventional'. Sometimes we don't get along. But when there's a family simcha we all kind of bond. In our own way.
I made cookies. My sister made cakes. My brother bought beer. My other sister made salads. My brother bought chocolate. My mom got sushi.
We contribute in different ways. People tell me that I look/sound like my family, which I resent sometimes. I don't want to be a by-product of them, an extension. I want to be my own unique entity.
Someone pointed out that every single one of us is different. Yes, some siblings have similar personality traits. But we are all so different, forging our own paths.
One of the guests said we gained one and we lost one, since my sister has a new last name and my sister in law inherited ours. I vehemently opposed this. My sister will always be my sister even if her last name is different.
Here's the thing about family- it's not always easy. They say that with your family you revert back to childhood. Your family sees you at your worst. Not every family is perfect. But the best, and simultaneously, the worst part of family is that no matter where we go, no matter who we marry, we will always be family.
Despite what my mother says, I don't think we get to choose our family. But at the end of the day, if we all threw our families into a pile and got to pick any other one, I really do think we would each choose our own. Not only because it is familiar, the 'lesser of two evils'. But because if you strip away the layers, when you really need them you know your family will be there to catch you if you fall.
'Despite what my mother says, I don't think we get to choose our family.'
ReplyDeleteJust wondering... what does your mother say?
I agree. Lots of people have commented to me and my family members about how amazing it is that we're all so close and so lucky to have that. I honestly couldn't imagine it any other way. Of course we fight and argue, but in the end we are always there for each other and that's what truly matters.
My mother says that a baby gets to choose their family before they are born. I don't know where she gets it from and I don't think it's true.
ReplyDeleteMy point was more along the lines of, we are not that close, we fight a lot, but despite all that we are still family and they are the only ones who would be there no matter what no strings attached.