I'm standing on the train and across from me is a young couple, so obviously in love. they can't keep their hands and eyes (and mouths) away from each other. He keeps whispering sweet nothings in her ear, to which she responds with blushes. And their 'conversation', if it can be called such, is peppered with the phrase 'I love you' too many times to count, and usually ends off with 'baby', or some other endearment. So obviously in love.
Too graphic for you? Ya, I was there. My eyes were averted the whole time, wishing I was somewhere else. I don't understand why people feel the need to broadcast their 'love' for the world to see. Or maybe I do understand, all too well.
Love. Such a strong word. So complicated, and yet, so simple. A word with such meaning behind it, so much potential. It is a universal term, used in every culture and religion, though its form may change.
Life is dependant upon love. Without love you can not truly live. You may think you are living, but in reality, you are merely existing, being. your heart is pumping, your body is moving, you can think, speak, and simply be. But this is not really life at all.
If G-d wanted us to exist on our own, He would have created each of us on our own little independent planet, where we could command our own universe, and enjoy our singular company, and never have to see another face.
But He created this world with billions of people in it. He wants us to interact, to live together in peace and harmony. We each have a purpose here. We are each traversing our own specific path in life. But along the way, we will rub shoulders with many strangers, and have to learn how to live, and get along with them.
Every person was born with the amazingly powerful ability to love, and be loved in return. It's like a storehouse, where it collects, and sits, and grows. At the right time, we can let it out, and endow it upon those special people in our life who are deserving of it.
As we go through life, we need to decide to whom we give this love. Unfortunately, many times we make mistakes, or misjudge a particular situation, and give this love to undeserving people. They may actually hurt us, or use it against us, or disregard it entirely, and throw it back in our faces.
The outcome is different with every person. With some people, their trust may have been so badly shattered, that they lock the love up inside, and are overly careful to guard it next time. If this happens to often, they may never feel comfortable with sharing this love, causing people to make the incorrect assumption that they are incapable of loving, when of course this isn't true, since every human, living being is capable of feeling love.
Other people may decide that they made a mistake this time, so must try harder next time, and might keep throwing around their love and getting hurt time and time again.It is all a matter of trust.
A word represents the definition, the meaning behind it. The word itself is important because of what it means, and they way you use it will change the sentence, or the outcome.
The word 'love' has much meaning behind it. It represents feelings and emotions, caring, and kindness, and sharing, giving and taking, having and holding. If used the right way, this one word can mean the world to someone. It can be used to communicate how one feels towards another.
But people misuse this word. They drag it through the mud, they say it without thinking, thereby causing it to mean nothing, lowering it.
I love my family. I love my close friends. It is a love I am certain of, I don't doubt it. It is an unconditional love, and I am comfortable telling them I love them. I don't need to proclaim this love, because it is known. However, I will say it when i feel it. When you feel extremely close to someone, or you are in an emotional mood, you may tell someone you love them, because that's what you're feeling at the time. And that's healthy.
The problem is when people say it, and don't mean it. I do someone a favor. They tell me, 'thanks so much, I love you!' I bake really good brownies. they say, 'Oh my G-d, I love you!' I help a girl with an assignment. She says, 'your the best, I love you!'
And I want to scream, No you don't! You don't love me, you don't mean it, so don't say it!
Because they are abusing the term, the feelings that are meant to be had behind it, and it bothers me.
My friends know me. I am very careful with saying 'I love you'. Meaning, I hardly ever say it. We have this joke going. My friend will say, 'Altie I loooove you!!', and I answer back, 'I like you toooo!' Only it's not really a joke, its how I feel.
They tell me, 'Oh you know you love me!' Maybe. I don't know. Again, it's a matter of trust. If in the past I was certain that I loved someone, and then they broke that trust, it will take me longer to trust someone now.
I'm sitting in a restaurant, and at the next table over is an older couple, your typical Grandma and Grandpa. They sit in silence, no words exchanged throughout the whole meal. They don't even seem to be looking to each other.
I puzzle over this, and conclude they must have had an argument, or be bored in each others company. But then I notice something strange. they are each using only one hand to eat with, and the second hand is not in sight.
I look closer and realize, they are holding hands under the table, and have not let go once during the meal. The husband glances briefly at his wife, and there is a look of such utter and pure love in his eyes, I feel my heart twist, and a tear forms in my eye. this couple is so in love, and by the looks of it, have been for many years.
There is no need for words, or public gestures. The knowledge of it between them, alone, is enough. This love is like old wine. the longer it sits, the sweeter it gets.
When a couple starts out in life, there may not be love, per se. In real life, people don't meet and fall in love, and have sparks of feelings, and live happily ever after. Maybe in books, or movies.
In life, a couple gets married if there is attraction between them, mutual respect, friendship, feelings. Yes, there must be feelings, and you may like this person. But most often the love comes later on. After living with him for awhile, seeing his flaws and faults, enjoying his company, and getting to know him, then the love will come. There's a certain point in a relationship, and when you pass it, you just know. You feel it in your heart. That is true love.
In other languages, Spanish, for example, there is more than one word for the English word 'love'. You don't 'love' your car the same way you love your family, or even your dog. They have more than one word to express the different types of feelings.
In the English language, there is only one word. There are advantages, and disadvantages to this. On the one hand, it should cause you to think twice before you say it, and be careful to say it only when you mean it. But then there are people who abuse it, and use it for every situation, and in every context.
Sometimes they feel uncertain. they doubt this love so much themselves, that they feel a need to prove to the world that they are actually in love. Thus the behavior of the couple on the train.
If you are comfortable, and certain of the love, it won't matter whether other people believe you are in love, or see it. The only people it will matter to is you, and the object of your love.
If you view it as precious pearls, you'll be way more careful how and when you use it. Make sure to let those special people in your life know that you love them, even if it hurts you to admit it. You never know if this time may be the last time.
Don't horde it, or lock it up and throw away the key. But don't leave the door wide open for every stranger to come in and walk all over your heart.
'Love can touch us one time, and last for a lifetime'.
It is so powerful. Only you have the key.
Use it wisely.
ditto!
ReplyDelete:) thanks for reading.
ReplyDelete