Cuppa tea at 3

This article has been published in The Jewish Press

It's 3 am. Just going to sleep. Why Altie, you ask me, do you go to sleep so late? Yes, I have a good answer. And it has to do with my Mama, and some hot tea.

1 am, ready for bed. Showered, even brushed my teeth. Doing my last email check for the day. (Don't ask how many times a day I check it, I don't even know.) I hear her coming down the stairs. 'Hey Mama.' She can't sleep, she tells me. So she goes to make herself a cup of tea. That's what she does to calm down. I drink tea strictly when I'm sick, but my mama will have a cup anytime.

I gravitate towards the kitchen. It feels good to have another person up at this time. Makes me feel like I'm not the only one left on earth. I sit near her, in pj's. We talk about everything. Anything. I can tell her whatever I'm thinking, and she doesn't judge me. She always tries to find the good in everything, even if I feel like the choices I make and the things I do make me a bad person.

We solve world problems, my mama and I. The shidduch crisis? What crisis? My mama has too much faith too believe in that. And it rubbed off on me. She tells me that even before a child is born, it is decreed in heaven who they will marry. Does it matter if they have money, what kind of family they come from? They use paper plates on shabbos?? Ch''v! Not for my son! She didn't go to seminary? Then how will she know how to raise kids? Like really.

But mama, she sees through all of that. 'It is all up to Hashem', is what she says. You will marry who you are supposed to marry. He is out there somewhere, waiting for the right time. And when she goes to the ohel, I know to bring something with me to do, cuz she can be there for hours.

We talk about politics. Or rather, my lack of understanding on politics. She tells me why she voted for Obama, despite lots of religious Jews putting him down. She explains things to me, things that I seemingly don't understand. We discuss it, and my opinion is validated.

I tell her how I feel a lack of direction now, being out of high school. Like no on told me what to do next. And she assures me that I will figure it all out soon.

All my fears and worries, my anxiety, we discuss over a hot cup of tea. There is so much going on in the world, in my life. I sometimes blow it out of proportion, and make it harder to deal with. But my mama brushes it off. Everything's fine. Everything will be okay. It's all up to Hashem.

I feel like a little girl again. Just talking to my mama. She makes everything better. I kiss her good night, inhaling the familiar calming smell of her lotion. I go to sleep, at peace with the world.

And everything is going to be okay. It's all up to Hashem, after all.
I know, cuz my mama said so.