Cheat Sheet

I ask you for answers, for clear direction. Every night before I go to sleep, and every day when I pray, I talk to You. I ask You to put me on the right path in life, and help me stay there. I ask you to send me people in my life, and all the tools I need to help me do the right thing.

You don't answer me. Maybe I'm asking for too much. I don't know. Maybe what I'm really saying is, G-d, open the great book for me, show me my page. I want to see what's going to come next, where I'm supposed to go from here.

Maybe I'm asking You to help me cheat on the test by giving me the answers, or tell me the end of the book, because I'm too lazy to read it.

In any case, I doubt You're ignoring my plea. You've heard me, loud and clear. your answer is no.

It's frustrating. It's like trying to solve a puzzle and some pieces are missing.
It's like a child climbing the monkey bars, and they can't reach the last rung. The child will cry out, 'Daddy!' A loving, caring daddy may run over and help then that last little bit. But a good daddy will say, no, my sweet, clever child. Heres where I sit and watch, and let you figure it out all on your own.

You are a good daddy, G-d. I am a frustrated, and disgruntled child.

So many times I call out, 'C'mon G-d, help me out here. Right or left. Black or white. I just can't choose!' One way may ruin my life, while the other will propel me into a dazzling future. But I don't know the outcome, only You do. And You keep silent, guarding Your secrets, and leave me here to sweat, and figure it out on my own.

Sometimes I think Your silence itself may be the answer. Maybe despite how many times I ask You to show me where I'm supposed to be, maybe I'm here now. Maybe this is exactly where I'm supposed to be now in life, even though it may not seem so to me.

I can't say I'm thrilled about it.
If a parent does the homework for his child, the homework is done. If a parent shows the child how to do the homework, it also gets done. The outcome is the same in both situations. The difference is, in the second example, now the child can do it on his own in the future.

'Catch a man a fish, and he has food for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he has food for life.'
It's the same thing. But I was always kind of lazy. Though I know it's better to learn how to do it on my own, I like to take the easy way out. Seems quicker to get someone to do it for me.

But I'm an honest person. I'd rather fail a test, because I was too lazy to study, then steal someone else's answers. Because that's what cheating really is.

This is the test of life, the biggest test of all. Ya, I do wish that You would give me some answers, and put me on the right path in life. I won't stop asking, even though I know the answer is no.

But You clearly wants me to try on my own, no matter how frustrating and hard it may be. In the end of the day it's better for me, and I may learn to fish, or do the homework, or something from all of this.

Asking You may be futile. But it never hurt to try.