Forced Company

Friday afternoon, I still did not have a place to eat for the Friday night meal. My mother said, 'go to your brother!', but I go to him way too often, and I found out that he had gone away for Shabbos. My friend invited me to go with her to some post-sem single girls meal, and I was reluctant, thinking it would be awkward, and that I would not have anything in common with these girls other than that we were all single. I didn't enjoy the thought of being lumped into a group simply because we all shared the same 'single' status. Why don't they make a group for artists, or writers, or people who share the same interests? My whole life does not revolve around my singlehood, nor does it define me.

After expressing my opinion and discomfort at the thought of this meal, I reluctantly agreed to go, because my friend is rarely ever in town, it would be nice to spend time with her, and well, why not.

We went to shul first, which was nice, and the lady in charge made me feel welcome. She is also my high school principal's mother, they look so much alike, and she brought back warm memories. After shul, we relocated to the room where the meal would take place, and then I started to get nervous. There were so many more girls than I expected, my friend and I could not find two seats next to each other, she was not agreeable with my idea that we ask two girls to move over so we could sit together, so I grumbled about sitting by myself next to strangers, and thought about going home, to my familiar warm apartment with no awkward social gatherings.

Then the meal started, and the girl next to me started talking to me, and I surprisingly had a very pleasant time. She was refreshing, similar to me in some ways, and we found what to talk about. Throughout the meal the girls sang songs, and my new friend and I sang a different song than everyone else, because we both just liked that song better. I helped serve food, and clear the table, I saw familiar faces of girls I met before, and I told the friend I had come with that it was okay that she abandoned me because I made a new best friend. She insisted that she did not abandon me.

The meal was arranged by a program that is geared towards post-sem single girls, and they want Friday night meals to be a regular thing, maybe once a month. The woman in charge said they are in the process of building a lounge, they envision it to be a place for girls to come and hang out, learn with each other, or just have fun. They also want to have programs, melava malkas, and other activities.

While the idea does sound very nice, and it is great that someone is taking charge and filling a need in the community, the thought of being part of a 'singles club' does still make me uncomfortable, mostly because I'd rather not be a part of it for logistical reasons. And also, joining feels like if I label myself as a 'post-sem single girl', that is what I will be forever. Silly, I know. But then, fears usually are baseless.

I didn't expect to have a nice time, and I did. And that is rare. So thank you to said friend for bringing me along.