Fiction writing

I'm taking a fiction writing course at school. I wanted to see if it is something I would be interested in.

I learned that it is not. I decided that I either have no imagination or it is somewhere in there so deep that I can't find it.

Every time I sit down to write a story, I second guess myself. Is it stupid, will anyone like it? Didn't I just read a book with the exact same storyline?

Every idea I come up with seems too cliche, done before, tired, or from a book I just read. Or I stress and think, will it suck, will people hate it?

I get myself so worked up that I can't even write the first line. My mother told me that I am thinking too much, that I should just start writing and forget about all that stuff. I told her that I may need something to 'relax' me first, so she told me to have a drink. (Yes, my mother suggested that I drink.)

So I stressed and stressed and managed to write a story that seems decent enough, and it was due today because each student has a scheduled day that they have to hand in their story to be workshopped. At 2 am I finished, and I went to check the list of students to see how many copies I needed to print.

Then I realized that my name was moved to the 24th. So basically, no one told me that I was switched. I missed 2 classes because of Sukkos. My teacher replied and said that a girl asked to switch with me because she would not be there on the day hers is due. My teacher just assumed that she had asked me so the switch was made without telling me. In her words, "we've made changes. People joined the class, things evolved." Thanks lady. While things were 'evolving', I was celebrating my holiday.

My story is done a few weeks early. But that will just give me extra time to stress about it, revise it, scrap it, hate it, love it, all or none of the above.

If you are interested in reading the story, feel free to email me. I chose not to post it here because this is not a fiction blog.