I like buying things for other people. It makes them feel good, and consequently, I feel good about it. But I am really not that great at remembering birthdays or special days. Once in awhile I will get a burst of inspiration, a thought that I should send someone a gift, or a card. A wedding present, or maybe just money, since I am horrible at gift ideas. How much money should I give? Is it too late to give someone a wedding check 4 years later? Welcome to my brain.
Once I decide to do something nice... then I start thinking about every single person that I know whom I haven't sent a card or bought a gift for in awhile. I am an extremist. Either all or nothing. Everyone, or (usually) no one. So instead of sending just one Shaloch manos to one friend, the list grows bigger and bigger, more elaborate, more people.
Hmmm... should I give that lady who invited me to her Shabbos meal that one time? My first grade teacher? The crossing guard?
If I think to send my grandmother a birthday card, then it reminds me of all the relatives I have neglected over the years.
So I will either be sending many gifts with notes saying, "10 years too late but... Happy Birthday!".
Or I will save myself a headache and do nothing.
Happy Purim, and if you get a Shaloch Manos from me, just know that you hold a special place in my heart.
My (everything home-made even the frosting) Shaloch Manos:
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