Just jump

My toes touch the edge

as I look over

into the yawning darkness

the abyss so deep I can't see the bottom.

My heart lurches in fear

as a voice urges me to go forward

and another pleads with me to stay.

What to do?

I can't go back.

Can never go back.

The only place to go is forward.

But I am stuck in place, can't move.

Fear of the unknown.

A paralyzing all-encompassing fear.

Fear of falling.

But a bigger fear of never moving at all.

Jump.

Just jump.

Take the plunge.

You can do it.

It's like a game.

Playing with fire.

Only it's not fun.

And it's not really a game.

Advance, and then recede.

Testing the waters.

Getting my toes wet.

But then returning to my familiar surroundings.

Not wanting to leave my comfort zone

to shatter my illusion of peace.

But if I don't move

here is where I will stay forever.

It is not really a question.

Hesitation.

Momentary glitch.

A pause.

I know what I will do.

Eventually.

The question is how long it will take me

to get up and go.

But for now

I stand here

looking into the eye of the unknown

wondering how my life will turn out

if I never move from here.

I hold my breath

and take the plunge.

Because I have no other choice

but to jump.