How important is it?

When all is (not) lost

(I wrote this post yesterday, with my emotions still raw. After I wrote it, I read my nightly thought from the book "Don't look down" by Rabbi Michael Haber, and the thought tied in perfectly with this post. I will give a synopsis below. (Due to the copyright in the book, I am just saying in my own words what I read. I am not attempting to copy or plagiarize or the like.)
Oftentimes the passage I read at night coincides with what I am feeling, or what happened that day. There are answers everywhere, you just have to look for them.)

The story goes that there was an ice sculpting contest taking place in a dessert. The sculptors worked all day on their creations, and put a lot of work into it. A stranger passing by who viewed this was puzzled and asked them why they were working so hard on something that would quickly melt.

The sculptor said to him, of course we know that. Look at the sign over there. The sign read, "HOW IMPORTANT IS IT?"

The artist explained, throughout life things come and go. Jobs, cars, houses, money. We get upset over little things, petty things, physical things. The ice sculpting contest reminds us that these things don't really matter. Why should I get upset over something that years from now won't even matter?

Ask yourself, how important is it?

After reading that it really put my attitude into perspective. Here's my original post:

It's like losing your whole life in a day. Okay, not your whole life, I'm exaggerating. But somehow it just feels that way.

How can one stupid mistake change everything? Actually there were a few more mistakes before this one that makes it all the more upsetting. I hate when things change and I can't fix them, can't change it back.

I dropped my laptop yesterday. The hard drive broke. I have to buy a new one and reinstall all the programs that were on there before, including Windows 7 which I will probably have to buy now, since it came free with my laptop.

The stupid mistakes I made leading up to this was:
1. I did not buy an extended warranty or insurance on my laptop.
2. (the worst mistake I could have made) I did not back up my hard drive. That is why I am now paying $80 in the hopes that my files, or some of them can be recovered.

I foresee a lot if money payouts in the near future.

It is hard to keep a positive attitude in a situation like this. I feel powerless, and I hate feeling that way. I know it is just a laptop and my whole life isn't lost, but there is a lot on that laptop that was valuable to me. It is like hiding a whole bunch if diamonds and coming back to discover they are all gone.

Needless to say it was a miserable day for me.

It is rosh chodesh Adar bais and I am not happy. I know I am supposed to be but it is hard. We made a really cute art yesterday. It was inspired by the preschool class. (fun for adults too.) You take a big cardboard paper. Cut out a shape using contact paper, then peel it and stick it onto the cardboard. Then you pour water color paint onto the cardboard, and blow it around with a straw. It will give the cardboard a cool tie-dyed kind of look. Then when it is dry you peel off the contact paper, and your shape will stand out bright against the colorful background. Try it, it's really cool and fun to make.

Mine was a smiley face with the words, "it's all good" around it. Yes, I try to remember that all the time but sometimes it stays outside my brain and doesn't seep in like it's supposed to.

I try to remember that everything that happens is hashgacha pratis, and everything happens for a reason. But a voice whispers in my ear, "na that's only for the really big things, not something small like this". But I know better.

I wonder why this had to happen. Was it punishment for something I did? Was it to teach me a lesson?

Or was it a test for me to pass, to rise above the pain and realize that all is not lost? That I am still me, I am healthy, I have money and food and a place to live, I am taken care of, I have family and friends, and a whole life ahead if me.

It is still upsetting that from one little thing everything changes. It is something I struggle with constantly. What if? What if I hadn't dropped my laptop? What if I had backed up my files like Mcafee has been warning me about for months? What if this never happened and I didn't have to ponder the reason why?

But it did and I do. I don't know why things happen. But I do believe that some things are beyond my comprehension. And I know that G-d is in control and He knows way better than I will ever know.

I will hang up my painting, and every time I look at it I will remember this, that all is not lost, and it's all good.

And even when it doesn't seem that way, I know it will be okay.