The article aptly starts off with: "Hi, Hater. That's right - I'm talking to you, the one grimacing at the
idea of having to carry on small talk or sit through departmental
meetings. We get it: You're just not the type of person who likes to
work on a big team or collaborate with coworkers on projects."
In other words, if you hate people and you dread the idea of working closely with others, these 6 career options may be for you.
Sunday, September 29, 2013
How to help a trader escape
This is why I should write posts when I think of them instead of leaving them sitting as drafts until months later:
"Here's How Snowden Could Escape from Moscow and Exactly Where He Could Go"
So like, thanks for the great plan. I hear that Snowden is living the dream in Russia now.
"Here's How Snowden Could Escape from Moscow and Exactly Where He Could Go"
So like, thanks for the great plan. I hear that Snowden is living the dream in Russia now.
Another great reason for frum guys to grow beards
I can't explain why I find guys with beards attractive. It's just what I'm used to.
When I was 5, my father decided to grow a beard while we were away for the summer and he was in the city working. When he came to pick us up, I didn't recognize him. My mind was telling me that the person I was looking at was my father, but he looked... different.
As a frum Jew who is Lubavitch, I do think that guys should grow full beards.
And apparently there are great benefits that come with it.
When I was 5, my father decided to grow a beard while we were away for the summer and he was in the city working. When he came to pick us up, I didn't recognize him. My mind was telling me that the person I was looking at was my father, but he looked... different.
As a frum Jew who is Lubavitch, I do think that guys should grow full beards.
And apparently there are great benefits that come with it.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Little words, Big talk
The smell of
cold air
in a hug.
The outdoors
clings to you
as you enter.
Pine, green and sharp
taste the chill
on your tongue.
The sweetness
of love
in a homemade cookie.
The smile
of appreciation
for your favorite dish.
A coin holds
the warmth
of my palm.
My wish
for your safety
and contentment.
The sharp slam
of the door closing
behind me.
The sound of
quiet finally,
bittersweet.
A rushed goodbye
as the car
pulls away.
Hope you heard
all the words
I didn't say.
cold air
in a hug.
The outdoors
clings to you
as you enter.
Pine, green and sharp
taste the chill
on your tongue.
The sweetness
of love
in a homemade cookie.
The smile
of appreciation
for your favorite dish.
A coin holds
the warmth
of my palm.
My wish
for your safety
and contentment.
The sharp slam
of the door closing
behind me.
The sound of
quiet finally,
bittersweet.
A rushed goodbye
as the car
pulls away.
Hope you heard
all the words
I didn't say.
Monday, September 23, 2013
Oh, Religion
Tonight I argued that Catholicism trumps Protestant, Galileo Theology, and Jesuits.
The Protestants said that "We" took their money, and prevented them from getting closer to G-d.
Galileo said that his beliefs and discoveries in science did not contradict the church, and that he was still a firm believer in G-d, although the church claimed that his scientific discoveries went against the bible.
The Jesuits, while claiming to support the church, said that they brought education to schools. They had a pretty weak argument.
A guy in my group kept apologizing for what "We" did to the people, claiming that the church is different now, that it does more for the people, and that being that it is the foundation of Christianity and that all these other breakaway religions came after, then ultimately everyone will find their way back.
I tried telling my teacher that I'm Jewish, thinking that would settle the argument. But he told me to go along with it.
At the end of the debate, which was pretty funny and had everyone laughing (Galileo said 'follow me or you will die'), my teacher welcomed us to get out of character and say our true opinions.
So I said to the 'Protestants', you gave a good argument, but what do you really believe in?
Religion is a touchy subject. And while I find it amazing that in a classroom of secular students, most of whom are not Jewish, who come from vastly different backgrounds, countries, and religions, we are discussing G-d. And not just a discussion of 'does G-d exist', but more so, that He does exist, and how religion helps one see that.
I was never very good at arguments. I just wanted to say, "I'm Jewish, we are the Chosen people, there was no big bang, we did not just come to be, we were here from the beginning of time, we will be here until the end of time, and all other religions are bogus".
I did not think anyone would take too well to that.
Oh ya, and Jesus was Jewish, he went to hell and he is never coming back, so there goes your savior.
The Protestants said that "We" took their money, and prevented them from getting closer to G-d.
Galileo said that his beliefs and discoveries in science did not contradict the church, and that he was still a firm believer in G-d, although the church claimed that his scientific discoveries went against the bible.
The Jesuits, while claiming to support the church, said that they brought education to schools. They had a pretty weak argument.
A guy in my group kept apologizing for what "We" did to the people, claiming that the church is different now, that it does more for the people, and that being that it is the foundation of Christianity and that all these other breakaway religions came after, then ultimately everyone will find their way back.
I tried telling my teacher that I'm Jewish, thinking that would settle the argument. But he told me to go along with it.
At the end of the debate, which was pretty funny and had everyone laughing (Galileo said 'follow me or you will die'), my teacher welcomed us to get out of character and say our true opinions.
So I said to the 'Protestants', you gave a good argument, but what do you really believe in?
Religion is a touchy subject. And while I find it amazing that in a classroom of secular students, most of whom are not Jewish, who come from vastly different backgrounds, countries, and religions, we are discussing G-d. And not just a discussion of 'does G-d exist', but more so, that He does exist, and how religion helps one see that.
I was never very good at arguments. I just wanted to say, "I'm Jewish, we are the Chosen people, there was no big bang, we did not just come to be, we were here from the beginning of time, we will be here until the end of time, and all other religions are bogus".
I did not think anyone would take too well to that.
Oh ya, and Jesus was Jewish, he went to hell and he is never coming back, so there goes your savior.
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Eat, sleep and party
Boots. It's the season of boots, and I am on the search for the perfect pair. The problem with actually knowing what you want is that it makes it somehow harder to find.
"Hello, boots store, yes I'd like a pair of boots in my size. No, I don't know what style. Not sure what color. Weather? What do you mean weather, it's like colder than Florida but warmer than Alaska..."
I'm looking for leather lace up combat boots, preferably with a side zipper, blue would be nice, they have to have a well-made sole, good reviews, decent price. I saw one I liked but they didn't have it in my size. Now I want them so badly.
Tishrei Guests. I never know how to treat someone elses guests. Should I be overly sweet and helpful, or open the door and then let them do their own thing?
Somehow they annoy me just being here, invading my space. Then I remember that they are a few thousand miles from home, that they barely speak English, that they probably just want some food, and maybe to lay down and sleep.
My brother was in town for a month. It was a pretty nice visit. I wonder if there are Israelis who roll their eyes when they see him and think, 'oy, those Americans, what are they doing here again?' I hope there are some people who are nice to him there.
Vacation. We like to party. We like, we like to party.
We actually don't like to party. 'We', as in me and my universe want to chill. I want to chill from work, I want to chill from school. I want to take a break and let my mind relax. It is kind of funny after having a 3 day yom tov, to feel this tired. But the only problem with having a 3 day yom tov is that no matter how much time you have to sleep, you never do, and when yom tov is over you are wishing that you were given those 3 days to do some work. And then you are back at work and you just want to sleep.
Hello world. My life is pretty boring these days. Every time I say that I don't do something because I'm lazy, my father says that I may be many things, but lazy I am not. I am working full time, and in school full time, and still manage to keep up with all the current tv shows.
Here's the thing, ladies and gents. I'm tired. But not tired as in, go to sleep early one night and you will wake up refreshed. Tired as in, I am on a not so pleasant ride at an amusement park, and I want it to stop but they won't let me off. So you keep going, and going, and wonder if it will ever stop.
I miss writing. Writing like, who cares what anyone thinks, I just had a crazy thought and I must get it down on paper. I miss being honest and unfiltered.
I just saw my niece today, and she was adorable as usual. My brother was watching her, and my sister-in-law was out. My niece was in her playpen, and I just wanted to hold her. So I picked her up, she squirmed out of my arms and started running around the apartment, squeeling, laughing, turning in circles, waving her arms, making noises. I laughed and laughed and said, what are you doing??
Babies have no cares. They don't know that they are acting crazy. Maybe if they knew they would tell us to let go and try it for once. Just throw your head back and laugh uninhibited. Let people stare at you like you are crazy.
There's a party going on down the block, and when I say party I mean an all night long, music blaring, dancing, cotton candy and kids with light up things in their mouths, crowded, noisy, block party for simchas baid hashuava. If you have never been to Crown Heights on Sukkos, then get over here. It goes on until 6 am. Literally.
I want to be there. But I am busy reading a book called 'Shaping of the modern world'. I hate history. We fought,. We won. Let's eat. I am not even registering any of the words. We will have a quiz tomorrow that I will fail, even though technically I read the chapter.
To eat? To sleep? To party?
To work work work your life away?
That is the question.
"Hello, boots store, yes I'd like a pair of boots in my size. No, I don't know what style. Not sure what color. Weather? What do you mean weather, it's like colder than Florida but warmer than Alaska..."
I'm looking for leather lace up combat boots, preferably with a side zipper, blue would be nice, they have to have a well-made sole, good reviews, decent price. I saw one I liked but they didn't have it in my size. Now I want them so badly.
Tishrei Guests. I never know how to treat someone elses guests. Should I be overly sweet and helpful, or open the door and then let them do their own thing?
Somehow they annoy me just being here, invading my space. Then I remember that they are a few thousand miles from home, that they barely speak English, that they probably just want some food, and maybe to lay down and sleep.
My brother was in town for a month. It was a pretty nice visit. I wonder if there are Israelis who roll their eyes when they see him and think, 'oy, those Americans, what are they doing here again?' I hope there are some people who are nice to him there.
Vacation. We like to party. We like, we like to party.
We actually don't like to party. 'We', as in me and my universe want to chill. I want to chill from work, I want to chill from school. I want to take a break and let my mind relax. It is kind of funny after having a 3 day yom tov, to feel this tired. But the only problem with having a 3 day yom tov is that no matter how much time you have to sleep, you never do, and when yom tov is over you are wishing that you were given those 3 days to do some work. And then you are back at work and you just want to sleep.
Hello world. My life is pretty boring these days. Every time I say that I don't do something because I'm lazy, my father says that I may be many things, but lazy I am not. I am working full time, and in school full time, and still manage to keep up with all the current tv shows.
Here's the thing, ladies and gents. I'm tired. But not tired as in, go to sleep early one night and you will wake up refreshed. Tired as in, I am on a not so pleasant ride at an amusement park, and I want it to stop but they won't let me off. So you keep going, and going, and wonder if it will ever stop.
I miss writing. Writing like, who cares what anyone thinks, I just had a crazy thought and I must get it down on paper. I miss being honest and unfiltered.
I just saw my niece today, and she was adorable as usual. My brother was watching her, and my sister-in-law was out. My niece was in her playpen, and I just wanted to hold her. So I picked her up, she squirmed out of my arms and started running around the apartment, squeeling, laughing, turning in circles, waving her arms, making noises. I laughed and laughed and said, what are you doing??
Babies have no cares. They don't know that they are acting crazy. Maybe if they knew they would tell us to let go and try it for once. Just throw your head back and laugh uninhibited. Let people stare at you like you are crazy.
There's a party going on down the block, and when I say party I mean an all night long, music blaring, dancing, cotton candy and kids with light up things in their mouths, crowded, noisy, block party for simchas baid hashuava. If you have never been to Crown Heights on Sukkos, then get over here. It goes on until 6 am. Literally.
I want to be there. But I am busy reading a book called 'Shaping of the modern world'. I hate history. We fought,. We won. Let's eat. I am not even registering any of the words. We will have a quiz tomorrow that I will fail, even though technically I read the chapter.
To eat? To sleep? To party?
To work work work your life away?
That is the question.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Tolling of the Bell
Clock marks the passing of time.
Happy time, and sad time.
Bright time and dark time.
But all the time counting,
and recording.
What are you counting towards,
or counting from?
Where are you rushing to?
Keep checking the clock
as the bell tolls.
Fingers drumming, foot tapping
impatient to leave, to move,
one toll, half on the hour,
two tolls, quarter of the hour,
still two hours to go?
Voice is buzzing at the front of the room,
but you hear nothing, pining to leave.
Dreaming of sun, and summer, and food,
and sleep, and joy, and pleasures.
And no dull boring lecture.
6:30, 7:00, 7:15, 7:30, break time,
extended break, 8:00, 8:15 still going...?
8:19. Wow is this clock slow?
8:20. One whole minute passes as life goes by.
And you want to be anywhere but here.
Head slipping down,
eyes fluttering closed,
clock ticking, time passing,
missing and losing out just wishing
for the bell to toll.
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Passions
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever meet a guy who truly gets me.
They say that G-d makes the perfect match for each person, but what if I meet someone who doesn't understand me, and like a petulant child I say, 'no you just don't understand!'.
What if I meet someone who understands me perfectly, and I'm the one who doesn't understand him?
Does one have to like all the same things and have an interest in all the same things as their spouse?
Maybe the important things.
I don't think you can be with someone if you don't fully appreciate their gift, or care about what they care about as they need you to. What if someone paints, and every time they finish a painting that they think is a masterpiece, their spouse says absentmindedly, 'oh honey, that's nice'. That might not work in a relationship.
Should you not go out with someone if you hear that they are passionate about ________ but you have absolutely no interest in that subject/thing?
They say that G-d makes the perfect match for each person, but what if I meet someone who doesn't understand me, and like a petulant child I say, 'no you just don't understand!'.
What if I meet someone who understands me perfectly, and I'm the one who doesn't understand him?
Does one have to like all the same things and have an interest in all the same things as their spouse?
Maybe the important things.
I don't think you can be with someone if you don't fully appreciate their gift, or care about what they care about as they need you to. What if someone paints, and every time they finish a painting that they think is a masterpiece, their spouse says absentmindedly, 'oh honey, that's nice'. That might not work in a relationship.
Should you not go out with someone if you hear that they are passionate about ________ but you have absolutely no interest in that subject/thing?
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Anger
I have a pounding headache and the bathroom is filled with steam. Someone has turned on the hot water and hung a shirt to get out the wrinkles. Great. We now have a sauna in the apartment.
Strike one.
The same person has a very hard time washing dishes. It must take a lot of effort to pick up a sponge and move it around. Said person has left dishes in the sink for a week at a time.
Strike two.
Now I'm pissed. With a headache. In the morning. I hate talking in the morning.
Leave sign in big bold red letters. "Wash your dishes". No exclamation mark, no "Stupid" at the end. That would be overkill.
Said person upon seeing the sign: "Do you think I'm 3?" (Think: What would my mother say? 'No, cuz a 3 year old would wash their dishes before they are asked!')
Instead, say: You made a sauna in the bathroom in the morning when everyone has to use the bathroom. (The two incidents may not be related, but at this point the anger is boiling. Get everything out now.) You leave dishes in the sink for a week! It is not that hard to wash dishes!
Said person goes to their room and slams the door.
(I hate confrontation, especially in the morning. I feel like I am shaking. It is anger? Is it fear? Should I not have said anything?)
I go to my room and shut the door. Hear furious whispering behind the door. Said person is now badmouthing me to a 3rd party. Yay. Real mature.
Angel emboldens me. Normally I try to tiptoe around people and not make a big deal of things even if they bother me. But when I am mad, I say it all. It usually feels really good.
"Oh ya? You are stupid and ugly and I hate you."
"I don't love you and never did."
"You are useless and you should move out."
Do you ever think bad thoughts in your head? Do you ever see a person that you really hate and think, I hate you and I wish you would die? We are told that our thoughts have as much power as our actions, and we should be careful what we think.
But somehow, it is easier to control our actions than to control our thoughts.
So I don't think 'Die stupid girl, die'. Instead I think, move out of the apartment you lazy stupid (bleep bleep bleeeeeeeep) person, you never wash your dishes and you take up so much space and your room is always messy and it smells, and I don't care where you go after that, even if you end up in a garbage heap'
Ya, I'm such a horrible person. And in Aseres yemai teshuva no less.
Sometimes we don't want to apologize or ask for forgiveness.
Sometimes we don't want to write inspirational pieces and say how we can better ourselves.
Sometimes we just want to indulge in the anger, pure and simple.
You annoy me, and I hate you.
Strike one.
The same person has a very hard time washing dishes. It must take a lot of effort to pick up a sponge and move it around. Said person has left dishes in the sink for a week at a time.
Strike two.
Now I'm pissed. With a headache. In the morning. I hate talking in the morning.
Leave sign in big bold red letters. "Wash your dishes". No exclamation mark, no "Stupid" at the end. That would be overkill.
Said person upon seeing the sign: "Do you think I'm 3?" (Think: What would my mother say? 'No, cuz a 3 year old would wash their dishes before they are asked!')
Instead, say: You made a sauna in the bathroom in the morning when everyone has to use the bathroom. (The two incidents may not be related, but at this point the anger is boiling. Get everything out now.) You leave dishes in the sink for a week! It is not that hard to wash dishes!
Said person goes to their room and slams the door.
(I hate confrontation, especially in the morning. I feel like I am shaking. It is anger? Is it fear? Should I not have said anything?)
I go to my room and shut the door. Hear furious whispering behind the door. Said person is now badmouthing me to a 3rd party. Yay. Real mature.
Angel emboldens me. Normally I try to tiptoe around people and not make a big deal of things even if they bother me. But when I am mad, I say it all. It usually feels really good.
"Oh ya? You are stupid and ugly and I hate you."
"I don't love you and never did."
"You are useless and you should move out."
Do you ever think bad thoughts in your head? Do you ever see a person that you really hate and think, I hate you and I wish you would die? We are told that our thoughts have as much power as our actions, and we should be careful what we think.
But somehow, it is easier to control our actions than to control our thoughts.
So I don't think 'Die stupid girl, die'. Instead I think, move out of the apartment you lazy stupid (bleep bleep bleeeeeeeep) person, you never wash your dishes and you take up so much space and your room is always messy and it smells, and I don't care where you go after that, even if you end up in a garbage heap'
Ya, I'm such a horrible person. And in Aseres yemai teshuva no less.
Sometimes we don't want to apologize or ask for forgiveness.
Sometimes we don't want to write inspirational pieces and say how we can better ourselves.
Sometimes we just want to indulge in the anger, pure and simple.
You annoy me, and I hate you.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Stupid, stupid, stupid
We are going to have weekly quizzes to make sure that students do the reading. Like you don't trust us when we say we did the reading. (I didn't do the reading.)
Four questions. Oh wow, I don't know anything.
Make up answer.
Try to sound smart.
Sound dumb instead.
Idea: Write teacher a note saying how you feel about it. (That is the rave these days, embrace your feelings.)
"Dear Professor,
The reading was very long and tedious and I didn't know what to focus on. I do not feel that a four question quiz accurately reflects whether a student did the reading. Maybe it would be better if you gave the questions before class so we could know what to look out for."
(Signed, a brilliant student.)
Voices in my head: Maybe I shouldn't have written the letter. Should I ask for a new paper? Should I rip off the bottom? No, too suspicious. Oh well.
After class, teacher gives a few questions to focus on in the reading for next week's quiz. Oh wow, it's like she read my mind.
Tell her what you feel. (After all, it is better to speak your thoughts then to let them fester.)
Professor, will you give questions every week so we can know what to focus on in the reading? (Make it feel like it was her idea.)
Of course. I did that last week. I wrote down seven questions on the board, in the first class.
(What??? You did??? I have no knowledge of this!)
(Don't totally cave in.) Hmm, it must have slipped my mind.
Leave classroom. Pull out notebook.
Second page:
"Questions to focus on while doing the reading".
And ALL FOUR QUESTIONS FROM THE QUIZ.
Now, not only does she think I'm dumb, but dumbdumbdumbdumb, did you not listen in class dumb, did you not do the reading dumb, do you think you are smarter than me, dumb.
Leave class, thinking stupid, stupid stupid. I will have to apologize so she doesn't fail me prematurely.
Heading home. A girl starts talking to me. "What are you doing after class?"
(What...? Who is she? Do I know her? Is she hitting on me? Is this what it feels like to have a girl hit on me?)
"Um... I'm going home."
No, what did you think of the class?
"Class... um... you're in my class...?" (Think. Do you recognize her? No. What is her name? No idea. She has a nose stud. Is that significant? It may be for next time I see her in class. Like, hey, you're the girl with the nose piercing whom I was so rude to in the street!)
Ya, we are in class together.
"Ohhhh... so sorry, a lot of faces, you know..... Um, I think it's really boring." (Speak your mind. Always say the truth. Then at least you will get some laughs.)
I thought it was just me.
(No, it is never just you. The whole class thinks it's boring, even the students who feign interest. Like, this book is soooooo fascinating! You know they're lying. Who finds history of the English language fascinating?)
Forget to ask her name. Say goodnight and part ways.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Next time, think before you speak/write/say everything that is in your head.
Four questions. Oh wow, I don't know anything.
Make up answer.
Try to sound smart.
Sound dumb instead.
Idea: Write teacher a note saying how you feel about it. (That is the rave these days, embrace your feelings.)
"Dear Professor,
The reading was very long and tedious and I didn't know what to focus on. I do not feel that a four question quiz accurately reflects whether a student did the reading. Maybe it would be better if you gave the questions before class so we could know what to look out for."
(Signed, a brilliant student.)
Voices in my head: Maybe I shouldn't have written the letter. Should I ask for a new paper? Should I rip off the bottom? No, too suspicious. Oh well.
After class, teacher gives a few questions to focus on in the reading for next week's quiz. Oh wow, it's like she read my mind.
Tell her what you feel. (After all, it is better to speak your thoughts then to let them fester.)
Professor, will you give questions every week so we can know what to focus on in the reading? (Make it feel like it was her idea.)
Of course. I did that last week. I wrote down seven questions on the board, in the first class.
(What??? You did??? I have no knowledge of this!)
(Don't totally cave in.) Hmm, it must have slipped my mind.
Leave classroom. Pull out notebook.
Second page:
"Questions to focus on while doing the reading".
And ALL FOUR QUESTIONS FROM THE QUIZ.
Now, not only does she think I'm dumb, but dumbdumbdumbdumb, did you not listen in class dumb, did you not do the reading dumb, do you think you are smarter than me, dumb.
Leave class, thinking stupid, stupid stupid. I will have to apologize so she doesn't fail me prematurely.
Heading home. A girl starts talking to me. "What are you doing after class?"
(What...? Who is she? Do I know her? Is she hitting on me? Is this what it feels like to have a girl hit on me?)
"Um... I'm going home."
No, what did you think of the class?
"Class... um... you're in my class...?" (Think. Do you recognize her? No. What is her name? No idea. She has a nose stud. Is that significant? It may be for next time I see her in class. Like, hey, you're the girl with the nose piercing whom I was so rude to in the street!)
Ya, we are in class together.
"Ohhhh... so sorry, a lot of faces, you know..... Um, I think it's really boring." (Speak your mind. Always say the truth. Then at least you will get some laughs.)
I thought it was just me.
(No, it is never just you. The whole class thinks it's boring, even the students who feign interest. Like, this book is soooooo fascinating! You know they're lying. Who finds history of the English language fascinating?)
Forget to ask her name. Say goodnight and part ways.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Next time, think before you speak/write/say everything that is in your head.
The chase
When I was little a girl called me a mean name, so I got
up and ran around the table chasing her, with no clue what I was going
to do once I caught her.
I had seen all the other kids doing this, saying "I'm going to get you". Perhaps it was all about the chase. I just wanted to be part of it, I wanted to fit in.
I don't think I ever caught her.
Sometimes we say things that hit too close to the truth, like 'Why are you acting so hormonal, are you pregnant?'.
Or, 'If you wife keeps taking trips out of town, people will think you are getting divorced'.
And then we realize how dumb it was to say that, because it doesn't even matter if we hit upon the truth. We just wish that we hadn't uncovered it.
Truth: I hate Fall, because it signifies that Winter is coming, and I hate winter.
Truth: I am hating my new semester and wishing I was not in school.
Truth: Sometimes you are mean to someone not because you dislike them, but because they have no right being around.
People are still wishing, Happy New Year, but it doesn't feel like a fresh new start to me.
If feels like the 'same old same old' repeating itself. I just did this all last year, so can we wrap it up please?
P.S.
My music professor said that horns were used as instruments in Africa long ago. Then he showed us this clip:
The students were laughing, but I thought how great it is that Jews are such a part of society. Plus I'm like, hey I just heard that on Rosh Hashana.
I had seen all the other kids doing this, saying "I'm going to get you". Perhaps it was all about the chase. I just wanted to be part of it, I wanted to fit in.
I don't think I ever caught her.
Sometimes we say things that hit too close to the truth, like 'Why are you acting so hormonal, are you pregnant?'.
Or, 'If you wife keeps taking trips out of town, people will think you are getting divorced'.
And then we realize how dumb it was to say that, because it doesn't even matter if we hit upon the truth. We just wish that we hadn't uncovered it.
Truth: I hate Fall, because it signifies that Winter is coming, and I hate winter.
Truth: I am hating my new semester and wishing I was not in school.
Truth: Sometimes you are mean to someone not because you dislike them, but because they have no right being around.
People are still wishing, Happy New Year, but it doesn't feel like a fresh new start to me.
If feels like the 'same old same old' repeating itself. I just did this all last year, so can we wrap it up please?
P.S.
My music professor said that horns were used as instruments in Africa long ago. Then he showed us this clip:
The students were laughing, but I thought how great it is that Jews are such a part of society. Plus I'm like, hey I just heard that on Rosh Hashana.
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Young'uns
Now I'm starting to feel old.
I asked around for someone who does cheap haircuts since I only wanted a trim. A friend recommended a name. The girl comes downstairs, and I mean girl. We started chatting, and she asked how old I am, what seminary I went to, etc. Then she said she was just in seminary two years ago. Which makes her around 20. Wow. It feels weird entrusting my hair to this young girl.
She did a nice job though.
I asked around for someone who does cheap haircuts since I only wanted a trim. A friend recommended a name. The girl comes downstairs, and I mean girl. We started chatting, and she asked how old I am, what seminary I went to, etc. Then she said she was just in seminary two years ago. Which makes her around 20. Wow. It feels weird entrusting my hair to this young girl.
She did a nice job though.
Wet
Dry
Friday, August 30, 2013
Frum and single
It seems to get harder and harder to inject spirituality into my life.
I used to push myself to daven, to learn, to do the things I am supposed to do. Sometimes it came naturally, and sometimes it was hard.
Once I left high school and seminary, I kind of drifted slowly away, not in any negative ways, more just neglectful. But I still had a conscience, and once in awhile I would think about all the things I'm not doing that I should be doing. Every year around the High Holidays I would get this guilty feeling, like I better shape up for the coming year.
And now even that has faded. I went to shluchim for a few years, helping with the kids and the meals, davening, saying tehillim. But this year I decided to go to my parents instead. There won't be a lot of people around, and the thought of a quiet no pressure yom tov sounds appealing.
Any time I mention my guilty feelings, my mother says that I'm doing so many wonderful things and that maybe I should focus on what I am doing rather than what I'm not doing. She may have a point, but that is still not a great mindset to live with.
Jewish life is all about family, and being single makes it harder to feel like a part of it. Sometimes for shabbos meals I stay in and make a small meal in my apartment, and it feels weird to not have a man saying kiddush. When Chanukah rolls around, I can't just go downstairs and listen to my father light the menorah, I have to set it up and do it myself. When Sukkos comes, I have to go over to my brother to borrow his lulov and esrog, or get some kid on the street to lend me his.
All these small little rituals that you take for granted when living in a family environment where things just seem to happen on their own are that much harder when you are single and have to create it for yourself.
It is hard to create an atmosphere that is conducive to being religious when living on your own. I know that may sound like an excuse, but it's true.
That's why I'm gonna marry a Rabbi so he can just lead the household, and all I have to do is show up.
I used to push myself to daven, to learn, to do the things I am supposed to do. Sometimes it came naturally, and sometimes it was hard.
Once I left high school and seminary, I kind of drifted slowly away, not in any negative ways, more just neglectful. But I still had a conscience, and once in awhile I would think about all the things I'm not doing that I should be doing. Every year around the High Holidays I would get this guilty feeling, like I better shape up for the coming year.
And now even that has faded. I went to shluchim for a few years, helping with the kids and the meals, davening, saying tehillim. But this year I decided to go to my parents instead. There won't be a lot of people around, and the thought of a quiet no pressure yom tov sounds appealing.
Any time I mention my guilty feelings, my mother says that I'm doing so many wonderful things and that maybe I should focus on what I am doing rather than what I'm not doing. She may have a point, but that is still not a great mindset to live with.
Jewish life is all about family, and being single makes it harder to feel like a part of it. Sometimes for shabbos meals I stay in and make a small meal in my apartment, and it feels weird to not have a man saying kiddush. When Chanukah rolls around, I can't just go downstairs and listen to my father light the menorah, I have to set it up and do it myself. When Sukkos comes, I have to go over to my brother to borrow his lulov and esrog, or get some kid on the street to lend me his.
All these small little rituals that you take for granted when living in a family environment where things just seem to happen on their own are that much harder when you are single and have to create it for yourself.
It is hard to create an atmosphere that is conducive to being religious when living on your own. I know that may sound like an excuse, but it's true.
That's why I'm gonna marry a Rabbi so he can just lead the household, and all I have to do is show up.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Wedding: Check!
It was nice. The whole family was there. I mostly can't stand my family, but for simchas we all 'make nice'. My brothers even let me take pictures with them. One brother came in from Israel, another from Florida, married sister trooped in with all her three kids.
My little brother about whom I used to say 'hate', yes, I hated him, he put his sweaty face near mine and smiled for a picture with me and my niece. I gave him a friendly punch on the arm, and he lightly punched me back, instead of shoving me like he used to.
I watched my brothers dance, and tried to guess who had the most to drink.
I made my sister the kallah jump rope with me, even though she didn't want to. It was fun, holding my dress, flying in the air, feeling like my feet would never touch the ground.
People came. When there's a simcha, family and friends and neighbors come crawling out of the woodwork, and I look around and realize that there are people who like us. Who knew.
It is hard to focus on my friends, when I feel like there are a million things going on and I don't want to miss a single thing.
The guys had awesome dancing on their side, so naturally I gravitated there to watch.
Someone set off firecrackers right after the chuppa, which was awesome, and then a confetti bomb during the dancing, so it looked like confetti threw up all over the dance floor.
Some guy was rollerblading. I guess anything can be called 'shtick'.
I looked gorgeous, and got many complements.
As the next single girl in line, I got many 'im yirtze Hashem by you's and I smiled and said thank you, amen! I don't know why girls get bothered by it, I genuinely appreciate that there are people out there who are thinking of me, and in my opinion, the more brachos I get, the sooner it will happen.
My feet hurt. Like, hurt. The term 'hobble' took on a whole new meaning when I hobbled to work today. Hopefully the pain will go away.
I got tons of pictures, my nieces looked adorable (!!!!!!!!!!!!!), my sister looked pretty, and she seemed very at ease and relaxed, which is nice.
She posted sheitel pictures already.
My mother and father cried by the kabbalas panim, which made me cry, and my father said "you should have a wonderful life, with lots of cute kids, even cuter than _______'s kids" (my older sister who has three kids.) I told my sister that and she said 'hey!', like how could there possibly be kids cuter than hers. I kind of agree.
My mom keeps saying it's a miracle that my older sister is married. I know it sounds mean when people say things like that, kind of like, oy poor girl it will probably never happen for you.
But it is a miracle, everything Hashem does it technically a miracle, and now I don't have to ask Hashem every day to 'please let my sister get married soon so she will move out of the house and stop annoying me'. Even though I don't live at home anymore, I called dibs on her room. I'm guessing it will already be taken by the time I get to it.
'The guy' seems nice. I don't have much to do with my siblings spouses anyway, so what do I care, as long as my sister is happy and her husband treats her right.
So as they say, 3 down, 3 to go (of marriageable aged children in my family.) C'mon G-d, just a few more and you can take a break.
Baruch Hashem for simchas.
My little brother about whom I used to say 'hate', yes, I hated him, he put his sweaty face near mine and smiled for a picture with me and my niece. I gave him a friendly punch on the arm, and he lightly punched me back, instead of shoving me like he used to.
I watched my brothers dance, and tried to guess who had the most to drink.
I made my sister the kallah jump rope with me, even though she didn't want to. It was fun, holding my dress, flying in the air, feeling like my feet would never touch the ground.
People came. When there's a simcha, family and friends and neighbors come crawling out of the woodwork, and I look around and realize that there are people who like us. Who knew.
It is hard to focus on my friends, when I feel like there are a million things going on and I don't want to miss a single thing.
The guys had awesome dancing on their side, so naturally I gravitated there to watch.
Someone set off firecrackers right after the chuppa, which was awesome, and then a confetti bomb during the dancing, so it looked like confetti threw up all over the dance floor.
Some guy was rollerblading. I guess anything can be called 'shtick'.
I looked gorgeous, and got many complements.
As the next single girl in line, I got many 'im yirtze Hashem by you's and I smiled and said thank you, amen! I don't know why girls get bothered by it, I genuinely appreciate that there are people out there who are thinking of me, and in my opinion, the more brachos I get, the sooner it will happen.
My feet hurt. Like, hurt. The term 'hobble' took on a whole new meaning when I hobbled to work today. Hopefully the pain will go away.
I got tons of pictures, my nieces looked adorable (!!!!!!!!!!!!!), my sister looked pretty, and she seemed very at ease and relaxed, which is nice.
She posted sheitel pictures already.
My mother and father cried by the kabbalas panim, which made me cry, and my father said "you should have a wonderful life, with lots of cute kids, even cuter than _______'s kids" (my older sister who has three kids.) I told my sister that and she said 'hey!', like how could there possibly be kids cuter than hers. I kind of agree.
My mom keeps saying it's a miracle that my older sister is married. I know it sounds mean when people say things like that, kind of like, oy poor girl it will probably never happen for you.
But it is a miracle, everything Hashem does it technically a miracle, and now I don't have to ask Hashem every day to 'please let my sister get married soon so she will move out of the house and stop annoying me'. Even though I don't live at home anymore, I called dibs on her room. I'm guessing it will already be taken by the time I get to it.
'The guy' seems nice. I don't have much to do with my siblings spouses anyway, so what do I care, as long as my sister is happy and her husband treats her right.
So as they say, 3 down, 3 to go (of marriageable aged children in my family.) C'mon G-d, just a few more and you can take a break.
Baruch Hashem for simchas.
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Why did the chicken cross the road?
(From the perspective of the chicken)
These damn humans question it all the time. Shut up stupid humans
and stay out of my business. Do I ask you, “Why do humans bark like
dogs? Why do humans touch their lips to another human's lips? Like,
ew. Humans, stop face-sucking other humans.
I crossed the road because- none of your damn business!!! Stop
asking what you call the “Age-old question”, or the next question
will be, “Why did the chicken shoot the human?”
Bam. Now you can't ask THE QUESTION ever again.
Happy chicken.
_______________________________________________________________
(From reporters perspective)
“In other news, the chicken has finally fought back, in what can
only be described as a mental chicken breakdown. As you can see
behind me, a crowd has gathered here to watch the chicken, who seems
to have finally snapped. Chicken squawks of “death to humans” can
be heard, as millions of chickens come out in support of their
brother. The question of “Why did the chicken cross the road?”
has been asked by humans everywhere, since the beginning of time.
Humans just want answers. The chicken wants, in his own words, “To
shut humans up.” The chicken has been taken into custody for
threatening a human with an illegally obtained gun. We will be
closely following this story as it unfolds. Stay tuned for the follow
up story of the chicken's arrest and arraignment. I am Chayanne
McFarlin, ABC News.
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
I HATE YOU GMAIL!
After an already crappy horrible day, now gmail is making the new pop-up 'compose window' the default, and you can no longer switch back to the old method. Did I mention I hate change? I hate it! No, I will not get used to it. I'm mad. For a free service, gmail sure is trying to 'improve' a lot. Just leave it the way it is and every is happy.
"Temporarily switch back to the old view."
"Temporarily switch back to the old view."
"Temporarily switch back to the old view."
"Temporarily switch back to the old view."
"Temporarily switch back to the old view."
"Temporarily switch back to the old view."
Switch it back!!
Think about it. What if your cleaning lady/live-in maid/mom/picker-upper-person took your favorite comfortable old ratty t-shirt and through it out cuz hey, you can get something newer and better. But you LOVED that t-shirt!
Maybe not the greatest comparison, but people like what is familiar and comfortable.
Oh, change is good, you say?
No it's not!!!
"Temporarily switch back to the old view."
"Temporarily switch back to the old view."
"Temporarily switch back to the old view."
"Temporarily switch back to the old view."
"Temporarily switch back to the old view."
I. Hate. You. Gmail.
Die.
"Temporarily switch back to the old view."
"Temporarily switch back to the old view."
"Temporarily switch back to the old view."
"Temporarily switch back to the old view."
"Temporarily switch back to the old view."
"Temporarily switch back to the old view."
Switch it back!!
Think about it. What if your cleaning lady/live-in maid/mom/picker-upper-person took your favorite comfortable old ratty t-shirt and through it out cuz hey, you can get something newer and better. But you LOVED that t-shirt!
Maybe not the greatest comparison, but people like what is familiar and comfortable.
Oh, change is good, you say?
No it's not!!!
"Temporarily switch back to the old view."
"Temporarily switch back to the old view."
"Temporarily switch back to the old view."
"Temporarily switch back to the old view."
"Temporarily switch back to the old view."
I. Hate. You. Gmail.
Die.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Night-time candy run
"Do you speak Hebrew?" he asks me.
"A little", I respond, thinking, please sir just give me my laffy taffys. My mother's voice is talking in my ear and I have no idea what she is saying. Something about a dress for the wedding...sea-foam green...?
"Yaldah yafa me'od', he says, dangling the laffy taffys in his fingers, and I just want him to put them on the counter so I don't have to take them from his hands. "Yaldah yafa me'od" he repeats, and as I get a creeping feeling in my stomach I try to understand if he is saying a very nice girl or a very pretty girl, and then I wonder why it matters. I realize it is dark out and the store is empty and the man behind the counter is staring at me and asking me what my name is. I give him an awkward thumbs up and thank him for the items that I just paid him for and hastily leave the store, wondering why something that is meant to sound nice gives me a sickening feeling in my stomach, and if there was something I did to signal to him that I was interested, or if I am way overreacting.
In the safety of my room I stare at the laffy taffys and wonder why I even wanted them that badly.
"A little", I respond, thinking, please sir just give me my laffy taffys. My mother's voice is talking in my ear and I have no idea what she is saying. Something about a dress for the wedding...sea-foam green...?
"Yaldah yafa me'od', he says, dangling the laffy taffys in his fingers, and I just want him to put them on the counter so I don't have to take them from his hands. "Yaldah yafa me'od" he repeats, and as I get a creeping feeling in my stomach I try to understand if he is saying a very nice girl or a very pretty girl, and then I wonder why it matters. I realize it is dark out and the store is empty and the man behind the counter is staring at me and asking me what my name is. I give him an awkward thumbs up and thank him for the items that I just paid him for and hastily leave the store, wondering why something that is meant to sound nice gives me a sickening feeling in my stomach, and if there was something I did to signal to him that I was interested, or if I am way overreacting.
In the safety of my room I stare at the laffy taffys and wonder why I even wanted them that badly.
Monday, August 5, 2013
The Price of Silence
"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."
-Attributed to Mark Twain.
I know, I know I shouldn't respond, but I want to so badly. I want to put someone in their place for once, knock that cocky smile off their face, show them up, say my piece and be done with it. The problem with people is, you can't control them. If I say one comment they must respond. So when will it ever end? "I know you're stupid but what am I?" Oh ya, great comeback.
I was never very good at comebacks. In high school I tried verbal sparring with a classmate and she won every time. You have to be quick, and I'm just not able to be quick and witty at the same time. She tried to teach me, but every time I would retort I sounded like a mad idiot with nothing good to say. In my world, I would say my brilliant response, and people would be speechless as I walk away.
In reality, they respond and it makes me go grrrrrr just shut up already, I want the last word! But people don't shut up. So you must control yourself and NOT say that great comment you thought in your head, unless you are ready for the repercussions.
I know, I know I shouldn't respond, but I want to so badly. I want to put someone in their place for once, knock that cocky smile off their face, show them up, say my piece and be done with it. The problem with people is, you can't control them. If I say one comment they must respond. So when will it ever end? "I know you're stupid but what am I?" Oh ya, great comeback.
I was never very good at comebacks. In high school I tried verbal sparring with a classmate and she won every time. You have to be quick, and I'm just not able to be quick and witty at the same time. She tried to teach me, but every time I would retort I sounded like a mad idiot with nothing good to say. In my world, I would say my brilliant response, and people would be speechless as I walk away.
In reality, they respond and it makes me go grrrrrr just shut up already, I want the last word! But people don't shut up. So you must control yourself and NOT say that great comment you thought in your head, unless you are ready for the repercussions.
Saturday, August 3, 2013
When to tell someone "you suck!"
Why must I go through this torture? They make me read this junk and I have to critique it and say nice things but all I want to say it you suck! This is junk you should never write you will never be a writer this is generic, it is stupid, it makes no sense, how can you call this writing??? It has horrible spelling, grammatical errors, confusing sentence structure.
But then I think, what if someone said that to me? Would it crush my dreams of ever being a writer? What if I was really a horrible writer and I needed someone to awaken me to that?
I know I shouldn't be mean but it is so hard to not be harsh and blunt when I am suffering through every word of what could barely be called writing.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But then I think, what if someone said that to me? Would it crush my dreams of ever being a writer? What if I was really a horrible writer and I needed someone to awaken me to that?
I know I shouldn't be mean but it is so hard to not be harsh and blunt when I am suffering through every word of what could barely be called writing.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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