Stupid, stupid, stupid

We are going to have weekly quizzes to make sure that students do the reading. Like you don't trust us when we say we did the reading. (I didn't do the reading.)

Four questions. Oh wow, I don't know anything.

Make up answer.

Try to sound smart.

Sound dumb instead.

Idea: Write teacher a note saying how you feel about it. (That is the rave these days, embrace your feelings.)

"Dear Professor,

The reading was very long and tedious and I didn't know what to focus on. I do not feel that a four question quiz accurately reflects whether a student did the reading. Maybe it would be better if you gave the questions before class so we could know what to look out for."

(Signed, a brilliant student.)

Voices in my head: Maybe I shouldn't have written the letter. Should I ask for a new paper? Should I rip off the bottom? No, too suspicious. Oh well.

After class, teacher gives a few questions to focus on in the reading for next week's quiz. Oh wow, it's like she read my mind.

Tell her what you feel. (After all, it is better to speak your thoughts then to let them fester.)

Professor, will you give questions every week so we can know what to focus on in the reading? (Make it feel like it was her idea.)

Of course. I did that last week. I wrote down seven questions on the board, in the first class.

(What??? You did??? I have no knowledge of this!)

(Don't totally cave in.) Hmm, it must have slipped my mind.

Leave classroom. Pull out notebook.

Second page:

"Questions to focus on while doing the reading".

And ALL FOUR QUESTIONS FROM THE QUIZ.

Now, not only does she think I'm dumb, but dumbdumbdumbdumb, did you not listen in class dumb, did you not do the reading dumb, do you think you are smarter than me, dumb.

Leave class, thinking stupid, stupid stupid. I will have to apologize so she doesn't fail me prematurely.

Heading home. A girl starts talking to me. "What are you doing after class?"

(What...? Who is she? Do I know her? Is she hitting on me? Is this what it feels like to have a girl hit on me?)

"Um... I'm going home."

No, what did you think of the class?

"Class... um... you're in my class...?" (Think. Do you recognize her? No. What is her name? No idea. She has a nose stud. Is that significant? It may be for next time I see her in class. Like, hey, you're the girl with the nose piercing whom I was so rude to in the street!)

Ya, we are in class together.

"Ohhhh... so sorry, a lot of faces, you know..... Um, I think it's really boring." (Speak your mind. Always say the truth. Then at least you will get some laughs.)

I thought it was just me.

(No, it is never just you. The whole class thinks it's boring, even the students who feign interest. Like, this book is soooooo fascinating! You know they're lying. Who finds history of the English language fascinating?)

Forget to ask her name. Say goodnight and part ways.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Next time, think before you speak/write/say everything that is in your head.