Saturday, August 17, 2013

Why did the chicken cross the road?

(From the perspective of the chicken)
These damn humans question it all the time. Shut up stupid humans and stay out of my business. Do I ask you, “Why do humans bark like dogs? Why do humans touch their lips to another human's lips? Like, ew. Humans, stop face-sucking other humans.
I crossed the road because- none of your damn business!!! Stop asking what you call the “Age-old question”, or the next question will be, “Why did the chicken shoot the human?”
Bam. Now you can't ask THE QUESTION ever again.
Happy chicken.

_______________________________________________________________
(From reporters perspective)
“In other news, the chicken has finally fought back, in what can only be described as a mental chicken breakdown. As you can see behind me, a crowd has gathered here to watch the chicken, who seems to have finally snapped. Chicken squawks of “death to humans” can be heard, as millions of chickens come out in support of their brother. The question of “Why did the chicken cross the road?” has been asked by humans everywhere, since the beginning of time. Humans just want answers. The chicken wants, in his own words, “To shut humans up.” The chicken has been taken into custody for threatening a human with an illegally obtained gun. We will be closely following this story as it unfolds. Stay tuned for the follow up story of the chicken's arrest and arraignment. I am Chayanne McFarlin, ABC News.

5 comments:

  1. That's funny! And TRUE at the same time. If I were a chicken that could hear humans, THIS would be me!

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  2. It's a pleasure to meet you, Altie (can I call you that?).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :) Sure. Feel free to look around. I see you have two blogs going on.

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    2. Yeah, one that's pretty much just a digital journal about me, and one that has my art on it. Both are pretty, well, non-popular. No one's really commented on them, but that's okay.

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