Sick Leave

 
We used to have a sign in my office that said, "I used up all my sick days, so I called in dead." It has since disappeared from the office. I guess that excuse just doesn't fly with my company. Dead or alive, it doesn't matter to us. Come in to work anyway.

I believe the era for "calling in sick" is long gone. I woke up with a bad cold to I texted in sick. How can you convince them in a text that you are sick, without coughing on the phone, making your voice sound hoarser than it is, unable to say your d's or n's properly cuz your nose is stuffed?

Text: "Hey boss, I woke up dizzy and with a really bad cold, I'm not coming today".
What I really mean is: "There's this amaaaaaaazing sale at the mall and I just haaaaaaave to go!".

Boss: "Okay, feel better".
What he really means is: "Liar. We know you are not sick, you don't even sound sick in text."

Well, convincing or not, I was sick. Still sick. Summer cold, I guess. No, really, I am. I even brought my cold medicine to display on my desk today so everyone knows that I am really sick and not faking it. And the medicine tastes disgusting, no way I would fake that.

The worst part about recuperating from a cold is getting my sense of smell back on garbage day.