My midnight musings

It's 1:30 AM, and I'm sitting here on the computer, trying to write. It's not easy. Not because I have nothing to say. On the contrary, I have too much to say, and it's all just floating around in that mysterious black hole called my brain, and can't seem to organize itself. But I want to write, I need that feeling of release. So I'll give it a try.

When I was younger, the word 'danger' held no meaning for me. Someone tried explaning the definition, that some things, or places, were dangerous, meaning, I shouldn't do those things, or go to those places. But in my childish mind, I imagined a big barrier, with the word 'DANGER' emblazened on it in big bold letters, and when you crossed that line, you got zapped.

As a child, the world was so big, so vast. It was a confusing, scary place. There were grownups, who were supposed to protect you. Only, they didn't always do such a good job. As I grew up, I tried to make some sense out of all the confusion. I'm still trying, but I think now I have a better idea than I did then.

There were bullies, and there were nerds who got picked on. If you were weak, or quiet, you were in trouble. There were popular kids, and 'nebby' kids, to whom no one payed any attention. This was my world growing up. No one taught me the rules of the game. I was forced to learn it as I went along, and through experiance.

Somewhere along the way, I grew up. And I realized, the world is so over-rated. People make it out to be so much more than it really is. Through observation, I learnt that the 'popular' kids, weren't really that popular, and the bullies were dealing with their own insecurities.

I decided I was above playing the game. The world is made up of snobby rich 'popular' people, who decide what everyone else should be doing, saying, wearing, watching. And then they lead everyone around like sheep, exactly where they want them to go. Does this make any sense? Is anyone really thinking for themself, or just doing, jumping, because someone told them to jump?

Sometimes I feel like I'm above the rest of the world. Like I'm the only mature one left, and everyone else has lost their minds. I know that sounds very concieted of me, but if I'm wrong, let me know. If there is anyone out there, anyone at all, who considers themselves to be 'normal', contact me. We can be friends.

According to the world, 'normal' is no longer 'in'. Now, it's normal to be crazy, and crazy to be normal. Is that NORMAL??? No. The world has gone completely crazy. And I refuse to play this game any longer.

If someone tells you that red is 'in', why should you believe them? Is it nerdy to be chassidish? (sorry, I just had to throw that in there.) Does any of this make any sense?
No. Not at all.

The whole world is a narrow bridge. Just a narrow, narrow bridge. People are narrow minded, and don't think for themselves. They let others do the thinking for them. The level of smartness (if thats a word) has dropped so much in this society, its sad. Do people read anymore, learn anymore? Is anyone interested in educating a new generation, or are they all just selfish, worrying about their own needs? Their hair, their makeup, clothes, and shoes?
I don't know. You tell me.

And the main thing is not to worry...no, I think the main thing is to get out of this alive. And refuse to play the game. A game where the rules make no sense, and the only ones who will win it are the people who created it. It's not a game worth playing.

I'm starting my own game. Who's with me?