Please knock first

She came barging in without knocking. She was a bundle of energy, talking a mile a minute, while my sluggish brain struggled to comprehend what she was saying.

I was sitting here because I wanted to be alone, and she was disturbing me.

I have a recollection of when I was a young kid. My older sister was sleeping, and I wanted to double check, in case she was faking it, just because she didn't want to play with me. So I lifted her eyelids, and saw she was indeed sleeping. Then I ran away, before she could wake up.

Thats what I felt like now. Like she was exposing me to a bright light, making me very vulnerable.

''So why are you sitting here all by yourself? Go join the party!"

She was talking to me. I didn't want her to.

"Because", I mumbled. What I really wanted to say was, mind your own bussiness. I have free choice, I can sit here if I want to. And juat by the way, if you noticed I'm sitting here by myself, maybe theres a reason for it, meaning, I don't want you here!

But I didn't say that, I kept quiet. I didn't need her thinking I was a mean person, in addition to being a loner, which she already must think of me.

"You know what your problem is?"

No. please tell me. (Trying not to sound sarcastic.)

"You think too much." (She may have a point there.) "You walk into a party and see you don't know anyone there, and you don't like the music, and you'd rather be home, so you go outside to get a moment to breath, and then you never go back in."

Right. She hit it on the spot. Thats me in a nutshell. Who is this girl anyway? I don't even know her name. I ask her that.

"Oh, silly me, I havn't introduced myself. (She says a name. It flies right by me. I still don't know who she is.)

"I'm gonna be a psychologist when I grow up."

Ya, that explains it.

I try explaining that I'm feeling fine, I just wanted some fresh air. She persists. She wants to know whats wrong with me. Her Dad is a Dr., her Mom a homeopath, she knows all about everything. By know I know her whole lifestory, and I still have no idea who she is, or what she's doing here.

"You look sad. Are you upset about something? you can tell me."

Ya well I'm not going to.

She prattled on for a while longer, but I just tuned her out. After a while she got the hint and walked away.

Ok, now I have a headache. I feel like someone just took a hammer and smashed it on my head.

This situation happens all too often. 'Well meaning' people ask questions, when they are not welcome.

But worse is when they ask, for no reason at all.

Sometimes I have a bad day. What I really need is for someone to ask me how I feel, and what happened. But people ask and don't really mean it.

"Oh hey, whats up, how are you?"

"Hi, I'm-" She's already half way down the block. her question didn't require a response.

Always say what you mean. But more importantly, mean what you say. If you ask someone how they are, stop and think about what you are saying. Make sure you mean it, and listen for the response.

If you don't really mean it, don't bother asking.

There are some people who are 'naturally curious' about others. In other words, they are nosy. They like to know the who what where when why, the ins and outs of other people's lives. Maybe it makes them feel better about their own life when they see how miserable someone else's life is. They poke around, they ask questions, they pry.

Maybe they do have good intentions. But they didn't stop to think about how it would be recieved by the person they are inquiring.

Sometimes I feel like hanging a sign on my forehead. "Do not disturb".

There's no nice way to say 'mind your own bussiness.' So I say it as nicely as I can.

Please knock first. And if theres no reponse, don't knock again.