It's funny how things never seem to turn out how we expected, but always work out for the best.
Things came to an end at my job, and not by my doing. It's kind of like "who will show their hand sooner" because I was planning to give notice and be gone in a few weeks. That timeline was simply shortened by a nasty person whom I'm ashamed to call one of my (now ex) managers. There will of course be two versions to the story, and as things go I don't think they handled the situation properly.
I didn't expect to be crying in the parking lot with my (other) manager whom I call a friend. He's leaving in about a month and I knew we would be parting ways, but this was sooner than expected. He told me comfortingly that everything will work out, it is all up to G-d. I know he's right.
I've been telling people that I will be leaving in a month, going off the grid. They don't understand. Maybe I don't even understand.
"For how long?" They ask me. I have no answer.
The first step after finishing school is moving my stuff back home to my parents house. It was either that or public storage and I have no idea if or when I would come back for it.
Next is taking a road trip down to Florida. Then maybe hanging out there for awhile.
I don't know what's next. And though normally that would be majorly stressing me out, I'm calm. I'm okay.
I see things as a chain, after one link ended I always found my next. Things have always worked out for me thank G-d. And yes it's easier to realize that in hindsight. But right now I'm okay with taking things as they come and not knowing what comes next.
I'm finally free for the first time in awhile. It's a very calming feeling.
Interesting
ReplyDeleteIf you are going to hang/ take a break/ answer some questions - why not go to Israel? You sound like you are thinking of just going and figuring it out later, and you're not sure you ever want to come back to New York (don't blame you, it's one of the places you'd have to bribe me with a lot for me to agree to live in), so . . . maybe Israel is worth a shot?
ReplyDeleteI've thought about it, but I'm not interested in just wandering. I would want to find some sort of program, maybe like help orphaned children or something. I feel like I should give to other people as opposed to just living for myself.
DeleteRegarding Israel, I was there for sem for a year, I never had a longing to go back like some people I know.
As far as I know, you can do Sheirut Leumi without actually making aliya, and there are other programs, too. But if you have no desire to come back, that's a different story.
Deletehttp://www.sherut-leumi.co.il/Article.aspx?id=909
Often I feel like Israel is a new start and a place to find answers and self for a lot of people.
Let's look at this realistically. As romantic as wandering America might seem, it's completely impractical for a single, orthodox female to do. As with everything in life, you need to start thinking practically. If you honestly feel you need to get away form it all, Duckies is right - Israel is for you. But you need to be honest with yourself - are you simply running away from what you might be perceiving as failure? Responsibility? in which case, there is nowhere to run.
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