Forgive me

There are 3 steps to doing teshuva: 1) Realizing or acknowledging that you did something wrong, 2) regretting it and feeling bad, 3) resolving to never do it again. And the real test to know if you've done complete teshuva is when you are faced with the same situation and you do NOT make the same mistake.

This can be like an alcoholic faced with a drink. If he turns it down, he has repented. But he may be faced with that situation many times.

And the truth of the matter is, we are human. We make mistakes. Maybe one time, and maybe many times.

And as humans, we are not G-dly. We are told that G-d forgives. But humans don't always forgive, and they certainly don't always forget.

Before Yom Kippur we are supposed to ask forgiveness from our friends, or other people we may have wronged. We have been praying for 10 days, besides the whole Elul, to G-d to forgive us. But He can only forgive sins done to him. In order to be completely forgiven we must absolve ourselves to our fellow man.

It is not easy to ask forgiveness for a few reasons. It is hard to admit that you did something wrong. There's the possibility that the person will not forgive you. And it is a little bit like reliving the mistake by bringing it up.

When I was little we were told that you have to ask a person to forgive you at least 3 times, and if they refuse each time then you are absolved and G-d would forgive you. But kids are kids, and kids say whatever they want. They don't really get it.

As adults, we get it fully. We understand. And yet some people still choose to either not forgive, or to forgive with their lips and not with their heart.

How can you achieve full forgiveness in your heart? I don't know. I guess it is something you have to work on.

I heard a story about a girl who had a sick joke played on her. She took the fall for another girls prank. And for years, she never said the paragraph in the beginning of shema, "Hereini mochel lechal mi shehichis vehiknit osi"- (I forgive anyone for they wrongdoings towards me) because she didn't forgive. And she didn't forget.

Imagine holding a grudge for all those years. It can kill you. But imagine being the person holding the guilt, and knowing that you are never forgiven.

As much as your relationships to G-d can be stormy at times, it is nice and comforting to know that He will always embrace you, that He will always forgive you, and He will always take you back with open arms.

I wish that people were as G-dly as that. Maybe one day, when Moshiach comes, may it be today before Yom Kippur. (It says that Moshiach will not come on a Friday, so as not to upset all the housewives who worked so hard to prepare for Shabbos. But I think we can all make a consession just this once.)

I would like to ask forgiveness from anyone who I may have wronged. Yes, I know you are not supposed to ask forgiveness online, and that when you do ask you are supposed to specify what the wrongdoing was, (if you know, unless it will cause embarrassment.) But for many of you, this is the only way to do it.

I hope that I go into Yom Kippur pure of heart, and that I never have a problem being mochel. I cannot imagine something so bad that I wouldn't be able to forgive for.

Everyone should have an easy fast, drink a lot of water today. And I hope that ALL your prayers are answered, and that we are all sealed in the book of life, and health, and all good blessings for a good year. I am looking forward to the shofar blast at the end of Yom Kippur. It is a very intense moment.

May we merit the coming of Moshiach NOW! And it should be a really good year for everyone. (Let's compare notes next year :) )

-Altie