Monday, October 31, 2011
Mazal Tov!
B"H my sister had a healthy baby girl this morning! Niece number 2! May the parents have lots of nachas from her!
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Fire and ice
Remember what it felt like to be a 17 year old boy and think you knew better than everyone else about everything? Ya, not me.
But there are some things which are just plain stupid. Like leaving to a destination an hour and a half before Shabbos starts. Sure, little brother says. I'll get there in time. Doooon't woooorry.
5:40 Friday afternoon- stuck on the Williamsburg bridge en route to Crown Heights for Shabbos.
Not only do we have no idea where he spent Shabbos, or if he is okay, but my mother went into Shabbos worrying about him and what he would do.
Word to the wise- or rather, the dumb, do not leave yourself at the mercy of shabbat.com, (a website where families can register as shabbos hosts for guests or stranded travelers) or local shluchim. Leave yourself enough time to get to your destination before shabbos.
Playing with fire is dangerous.
In other news, it snowed! Me being a non-believer, I didn't believe the weather forecaster who said we were expecting snow. So when I woke up and saw white outside my window I grabbed my glasses and- behold! White fluffy chunks were descending from the heavens!
We sat at the shabbos meal and watched people trudge through the snow all day, their hats covered with plastic bags. I was not brave enough to go outside.
Snow in October????? Weird stuff. But snow always makes me feel like a kid again, the urge to pick up a handful, form it into a snowball and lob it at an unsuspecting passerby.
UPDATE: my brother is safe and made it to Crown Heights for shabbos. Since he will never read this blog I get to say: you idiot!
Enjoy the snow! Falalalala winter wonderland!
But there are some things which are just plain stupid. Like leaving to a destination an hour and a half before Shabbos starts. Sure, little brother says. I'll get there in time. Doooon't woooorry.
5:40 Friday afternoon- stuck on the Williamsburg bridge en route to Crown Heights for Shabbos.
Not only do we have no idea where he spent Shabbos, or if he is okay, but my mother went into Shabbos worrying about him and what he would do.
Word to the wise- or rather, the dumb, do not leave yourself at the mercy of shabbat.com, (a website where families can register as shabbos hosts for guests or stranded travelers) or local shluchim. Leave yourself enough time to get to your destination before shabbos.
Playing with fire is dangerous.
In other news, it snowed! Me being a non-believer, I didn't believe the weather forecaster who said we were expecting snow. So when I woke up and saw white outside my window I grabbed my glasses and- behold! White fluffy chunks were descending from the heavens!
We sat at the shabbos meal and watched people trudge through the snow all day, their hats covered with plastic bags. I was not brave enough to go outside.
Snow in October????? Weird stuff. But snow always makes me feel like a kid again, the urge to pick up a handful, form it into a snowball and lob it at an unsuspecting passerby.
UPDATE: my brother is safe and made it to Crown Heights for shabbos. Since he will never read this blog I get to say: you idiot!
Enjoy the snow! Falalalala winter wonderland!
Friday, October 28, 2011
Simply, Good Shabbos
I bumped into a girl who I went to high school with. As we were catching up she said, 'I really liked getting your emails, they were really nice to read.' I wracked my brain to figure out what she was talking about. Then I remembered that I used to send out mass emails before every Yom Tov. I used to send out a lot of nice inspirational emails, but have not done so in awhile, mainly because I now have a blog where all my inspiration is vetted, and also because time has passed and I have lost touch with people I used to be close to.
This post is not about losing touch, nor the passage of time, although there is a lot to be said on that topic.
This is simply, good shabbos.
When I was in 5th grade we had a system called 'Shabbos phone calls', and my teacher set it up so that each girl would call one girl to wish her a good shabbos, as well as receice a good shabbos wish from another girl. It's a great concept, yes, but for a girl who is shy or gets nervous on the phone, it was hard or me every week to force myself to do it. But then I thought about that poor girl not getting a good shabbos from me, maybe waiting by the phone, (okay that is a bit melodramatic.) Or how I would feel to not get a call.
And so every week I called one girl in my class to wish her a good shabbos.
Life gets in the way and we abandon these simple pleasures. Yes I say pleasures because I smile every time I get a good shabbos text from someone, knowing that they took the time to think of me. And I want to make others feel the same way.
I used to text a few people to wish them a good shabbos. Now I will occasionally call my mother if I am not home, and maybe text a friend or two.
Now I am in a jovial mood, despite the forecast of snow. I am home for shabbos, I hugged my baby brother, (he's 14, but still a baby :) ) and my sister made chicken soup! I haven't had chicken soup in a long time.
I hope my good mood will rub off on all of you.
So here's a simple good shabbos wish, and enjoy the simple pleasures in life!
I liked Sheva's post from my shtub. It gets you in the mood.
This post is not about losing touch, nor the passage of time, although there is a lot to be said on that topic.
This is simply, good shabbos.
When I was in 5th grade we had a system called 'Shabbos phone calls', and my teacher set it up so that each girl would call one girl to wish her a good shabbos, as well as receice a good shabbos wish from another girl. It's a great concept, yes, but for a girl who is shy or gets nervous on the phone, it was hard or me every week to force myself to do it. But then I thought about that poor girl not getting a good shabbos from me, maybe waiting by the phone, (okay that is a bit melodramatic.) Or how I would feel to not get a call.
And so every week I called one girl in my class to wish her a good shabbos.
Life gets in the way and we abandon these simple pleasures. Yes I say pleasures because I smile every time I get a good shabbos text from someone, knowing that they took the time to think of me. And I want to make others feel the same way.
I used to text a few people to wish them a good shabbos. Now I will occasionally call my mother if I am not home, and maybe text a friend or two.
Now I am in a jovial mood, despite the forecast of snow. I am home for shabbos, I hugged my baby brother, (he's 14, but still a baby :) ) and my sister made chicken soup! I haven't had chicken soup in a long time.
I hope my good mood will rub off on all of you.
So here's a simple good shabbos wish, and enjoy the simple pleasures in life!
I liked Sheva's post from my shtub. It gets you in the mood.
Theme song
Didn't you ever wish that your life was accompanied by music at all the epic moments? If your life was a TV show, what would be the theme song?
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Freezing toes and carrot nose
Wind blowing through thin orange sweater
So cold, hating this weather.
Watching the temp dropper, wondering how low it'll go,
when in Albany they already have snow.
Can't breath throw my nose, freezes my insides,
When will this fierce wind subside?
Freezing cold but warm inside,
these two at odd through the window collide.
Causing fog, a misty glow
I draw a frown so you will know.
Winter winter go away,
Oh how I miss the summer days.
Frolicking in the pool soaking up the sun,
now all the fun is done.
Snow man with carrots, snow balls afly,
sun no where to be found in the sky.
Wishing for summer to come again,
when will winter be over, oh when?
So cold, hating this weather.
Watching the temp dropper, wondering how low it'll go,
when in Albany they already have snow.
Can't breath throw my nose, freezes my insides,
When will this fierce wind subside?
Freezing cold but warm inside,
these two at odd through the window collide.
Causing fog, a misty glow
I draw a frown so you will know.
Winter winter go away,
Oh how I miss the summer days.
Frolicking in the pool soaking up the sun,
now all the fun is done.
Snow man with carrots, snow balls afly,
sun no where to be found in the sky.
Wishing for summer to come again,
when will winter be over, oh when?
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Only Simchas!
I have a dilemma, a very big dilemma, but it is a good dilemma, one that many people should have to make.
Two of my classmates/friends are making their wedding on the same day! I just found out. One scheduled hers like a month ago. The other girl just decided recently, without knowing that the 1st girl already picked that date.
I like them both equally, (they are not reading this :) ) one wedding is 'in town' (meaning 4 hour drive), the other wedding is a 10 hour drive/bus ride away. I wish I could clone myself and go to both.
Oh, what to do?
Two of my classmates/friends are making their wedding on the same day! I just found out. One scheduled hers like a month ago. The other girl just decided recently, without knowing that the 1st girl already picked that date.
I like them both equally, (they are not reading this :) ) one wedding is 'in town' (meaning 4 hour drive), the other wedding is a 10 hour drive/bus ride away. I wish I could clone myself and go to both.
Oh, what to do?
Oprah!!
Not only did I miss seeing her, but my sister-in-law got to meet her!!! How cool is that??
Ya I'm feeling very jealous right now.
What lies ahead
Strain your eyes
to see the goal.
Though it may be far away,
you'll get there someday.
If you work for it.
The important things in life
don't come easy.
But how much greater it feels
when you accomplish them.
Ask the person who was paralyzed
and learned to walk again.
Or the blind man
who paints.
To say "I can't"
is to give up without trying.
And if you have not even tried,
you have already failed.
Walter Hagen said, "You're only here for a short visit. Don't hurry. Don't worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way."
But if you stop,
don't forget to start again.
Be sure to not get distracted by the little unimportant things in life
and lose site of the goal.
Lest you forget what you were brought down here for.
And some things that seem important or devastating in the moment,
might later turn out to be nothing at all.
So stay focused.
Never lose sight of the goal.
to see the goal.
Though it may be far away,
you'll get there someday.
If you work for it.
The important things in life
don't come easy.
But how much greater it feels
when you accomplish them.
Ask the person who was paralyzed
and learned to walk again.
Or the blind man
who paints.
To say "I can't"
is to give up without trying.
And if you have not even tried,
you have already failed.
Walter Hagen said, "You're only here for a short visit. Don't hurry. Don't worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way."
But if you stop,
don't forget to start again.
Be sure to not get distracted by the little unimportant things in life
and lose site of the goal.
Lest you forget what you were brought down here for.
And some things that seem important or devastating in the moment,
might later turn out to be nothing at all.
So stay focused.
Never lose sight of the goal.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Tell me the truth
Friends are like the black outlines of a picture. When you get too close to the edge, they help you stay inside the lines.
Friends are there to remind you of who you really are, just in case life gets in the way and you forget.
Good friends are forever. Because even if you grow apart, they are always in your heart.
I am not the mushy type. Really. I don't cry around other people. I'm not a 'let's hug for everything' kind of person.
But there are times, special times when you can say, where would I be without my friends? WHO would I be without them?
This is a post for the friend who jolts me back to reality and says "?נו, וואס טוטס דו"
The friend who holds me to a higher standard than I hold myself.
The friend who makes me want to be a better person.
Friends are there to remind you of who you really are, just in case life gets in the way and you forget.
Good friends are forever. Because even if you grow apart, they are always in your heart.
I am not the mushy type. Really. I don't cry around other people. I'm not a 'let's hug for everything' kind of person.
But there are times, special times when you can say, where would I be without my friends? WHO would I be without them?
This is a post for the friend who jolts me back to reality and says "?נו, וואס טוטס דו"
The friend who holds me to a higher standard than I hold myself.
The friend who makes me want to be a better person.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Cold
"I get knocked down.
But I get up again.
You're never gonna keep me down."
I feel it coming on.
Starts off with just the sniffles.
Then a scratch in the back of my throat.
Then a few sneezes.
Using extra tissues.
Then my nose is stuffed and I can't breath.
Then a sneezing fit.
Can't go anywhere without tissues.
The cold seeps in and it just won't leave.
On a good day, I step outside and the fresh air revives me.
On a bad day I lay in bed feeling like I'm dying and wishing for release.
So hear me now, winter.
I will kick your @ss.
I will crush you.
I WILL breath again.
And when you come knocking at my door, beware.
I won't be there.
Because this winter I have decided to join my grandparents in sunny Florida.
Okay that's a lie.
But if you come for me, just know this:
"You're never gonna keep me down."
But I get up again.
You're never gonna keep me down."
I feel it coming on.
Starts off with just the sniffles.
Then a scratch in the back of my throat.
Then a few sneezes.
Using extra tissues.
Then my nose is stuffed and I can't breath.
Then a sneezing fit.
Can't go anywhere without tissues.
The cold seeps in and it just won't leave.
On a good day, I step outside and the fresh air revives me.
On a bad day I lay in bed feeling like I'm dying and wishing for release.
So hear me now, winter.
I will kick your @ss.
I will crush you.
I WILL breath again.
And when you come knocking at my door, beware.
I won't be there.
Because this winter I have decided to join my grandparents in sunny Florida.
Okay that's a lie.
But if you come for me, just know this:
"You're never gonna keep me down."
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Gut Yom Tov! From Chabad.org
We all have moments when, although things are not going all that well, we put up a façade and paste a smile on our faces. We sometimes go to great lengths to mask our inner feelings. We'll go about our day as if nothing is wrong, laugh along with our coworkers, and go home to our spouses and children smiling at them without a hint of our inner cares.
Every once in a while, we even exhibit behavior that is the complete opposite of what we feel. We dance when we'd rather mope, sing when we feel like crying, and smile when a frown would be a better indicator of what's going on inside.
But "faking it" long enough will eventually affect your actual mood. You may forget why you were upset in the first place, or perhaps realize that it wasn't such a big deal after all.
As we conclude the holiday of Sukkot, the festival of joy, and look toward Simchat Torah, the festival of extreme joy, we are reminded that regardless of what else is going on in our lives (spiritually and materially), spending time in the company of fellow Jews celebrating the Torah will certainly have a positive impact us now, and for the rest of our year.
This is the time of year when we revel in our connection with G‑d. But even if you are not yet in the mood, strap on your dancing shoes, find a celebration near you, and before you know it, you will be truly jumping for joy.
Wishing you a very joyous holiday and, indeed, rest of the year!
Rabbi Eliezer Zalmanov,
Responder for the Ask the Rabbi team @ Chabad.org
And from me, Altie- have a Happy Simchas Torah! Eat, drink, and be merry!
Every once in a while, we even exhibit behavior that is the complete opposite of what we feel. We dance when we'd rather mope, sing when we feel like crying, and smile when a frown would be a better indicator of what's going on inside.
But "faking it" long enough will eventually affect your actual mood. You may forget why you were upset in the first place, or perhaps realize that it wasn't such a big deal after all.
As we conclude the holiday of Sukkot, the festival of joy, and look toward Simchat Torah, the festival of extreme joy, we are reminded that regardless of what else is going on in our lives (spiritually and materially), spending time in the company of fellow Jews celebrating the Torah will certainly have a positive impact us now, and for the rest of our year.
This is the time of year when we revel in our connection with G‑d. But even if you are not yet in the mood, strap on your dancing shoes, find a celebration near you, and before you know it, you will be truly jumping for joy.
Wishing you a very joyous holiday and, indeed, rest of the year!
Rabbi Eliezer Zalmanov,
Responder for the Ask the Rabbi team @ Chabad.org
And from me, Altie- have a Happy Simchas Torah! Eat, drink, and be merry!
Somebody
Once upon a time, we used to be friends. Now, we are practically strangers.
I see you in the street and my heart thuds and I can't breath, because you are not supposed to be HERE and here you are. And you didn't tell me you were coming.
You didn't tell ANYBODY, you said. It was supposed to be a surprise. But not for me.
Well, I am surprised.
And once upon a time, I used to be a somebody.
I see you in the street and my heart thuds and I can't breath, because you are not supposed to be HERE and here you are. And you didn't tell me you were coming.
You didn't tell ANYBODY, you said. It was supposed to be a surprise. But not for me.
Well, I am surprised.
And once upon a time, I used to be a somebody.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Boys like girls
Wish everything were so simple.
What if we lived in a world where there were no guys and no girls and babies grew on trees?
What if there were no genders, no competition, no temptations, no rights or wrongs?
What if you were you and I was I without everything else interfering?
What if there were no break-ups and make-ups and songs written about girls and broken hearts?
Cuz in the end, it all ends the same.
But then of course, the music industry would be out of business.
What if we lived in a world where there were no guys and no girls and babies grew on trees?
What if there were no genders, no competition, no temptations, no rights or wrongs?
What if you were you and I was I without everything else interfering?
What if there were no break-ups and make-ups and songs written about girls and broken hearts?
Cuz in the end, it all ends the same.
But then of course, the music industry would be out of business.
YESSSSS!!!!!
GILAD SHALIT HAS RETURNED HOME!
Just for a moment, put aside the controversy, the worries, the anger. For one moment, just be happy.
I pray that G-d watch over Israel and protect the soldiers from harm. If you want to say tehillim for Israel, some appropriate chapters are 20, 83, (specifically for the safety of Israel) 130 (Shir Hamaalot) and any other ones you would like to say.
May this be a day ONLY of rejoicing, and may we welcome the coming of Moshiach NOW!
Just for a moment, put aside the controversy, the worries, the anger. For one moment, just be happy.
I pray that G-d watch over Israel and protect the soldiers from harm. If you want to say tehillim for Israel, some appropriate chapters are 20, 83, (specifically for the safety of Israel) 130 (Shir Hamaalot) and any other ones you would like to say.
May this be a day ONLY of rejoicing, and may we welcome the coming of Moshiach NOW!
I fly solo
Some people are leaders with many followers.
Some people are leaders with no followers at all.
Some people are strong, but they will never be leaders, because they do not wait for people to follow.
I am not a leader.
I am not a follower.
I fly solo.
Some people are leaders with no followers at all.
Some people are strong, but they will never be leaders, because they do not wait for people to follow.
I am not a leader.
I am not a follower.
I fly solo.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Tis morning at last
I have never felt more tired, or more ALIVE!
It is so hard to describe the atmosphere. It is something you just have to experience. If you are there you get it.
The crowd moves with the music. When it's fast, they dance fast. When it slows down, so do they.
When the music stops- well, they keep dancing.
It is so fascinating, yet so natural. You hear music and you want to move. You need to move. You have this energy inside of you and you need to dispel it in some way. By dancing, by clapping, tapping your feet, singing. Someway, it has to come out.
I love how many different types of Jews come to the Simchas Bais Hashuava in Crown Heights. There is such unity. Jews from all backgrounds dance together, everyone is welcome, everyone is ACCEPTED, and we all celebrate together.
I wondered what a stranger would think if they came upon the scene by accident. A whole bunch of men clad mainly in black and white, dancing all night while the ladies stand and watch. It is like a Jewish block party. It's awesome.
Someone asked a police officer 'what do you make of all this?' He said, 'it's nice, it's really nice.'
We just want to have a good time. We want to express our simcha in the streets. It is Sukkos, and we dance in the streets. And it is so nice how the officers APPRECIATE us. We are not violent, we are not rioting, we are respectful and law-abiding and when it is time to go home we do.
It is so nice to stay until the end. The music keeps going on and on and on and you want it to end so you can go home and go to sleep, but at the same time you want it to last forever.
If anyone knows the song 'hup kusak', it was an amazing experience to watch. It starts off really slow, with everyone sitting on the street and just swaying to the music. They kept it slow for like two minutes, and then it slowly gets faster and faster until everyone is jumping. Awesome.
It is a bonding experience. I made friends with the stranger standing next to me. Maybe I will see her again.
I love Simchas Baid Hashuava, and I appreciate it so much more now that I am older.
And more so, it makes me so PROUD to be Lubavitch! When the crowd screamed together 'Ad Mosai!' and 'We want Moshiach now!' it was powerful. I'm sure it was heard on high.
I will try to post videos tomorrow, and for those of you in town, you should definitely try to make it, as experiencing Simchas Bais Hashuava in Crown Heights is a once in a lifetime experience. There's a reason people come from all over to enjoy it.
Now, it is 6:30 am and I will start my day with waffles. And then sleep.
Chag Sameach to all!
It is so hard to describe the atmosphere. It is something you just have to experience. If you are there you get it.
The crowd moves with the music. When it's fast, they dance fast. When it slows down, so do they.
When the music stops- well, they keep dancing.
It is so fascinating, yet so natural. You hear music and you want to move. You need to move. You have this energy inside of you and you need to dispel it in some way. By dancing, by clapping, tapping your feet, singing. Someway, it has to come out.
I love how many different types of Jews come to the Simchas Bais Hashuava in Crown Heights. There is such unity. Jews from all backgrounds dance together, everyone is welcome, everyone is ACCEPTED, and we all celebrate together.
I wondered what a stranger would think if they came upon the scene by accident. A whole bunch of men clad mainly in black and white, dancing all night while the ladies stand and watch. It is like a Jewish block party. It's awesome.
Someone asked a police officer 'what do you make of all this?' He said, 'it's nice, it's really nice.'
We just want to have a good time. We want to express our simcha in the streets. It is Sukkos, and we dance in the streets. And it is so nice how the officers APPRECIATE us. We are not violent, we are not rioting, we are respectful and law-abiding and when it is time to go home we do.
It is so nice to stay until the end. The music keeps going on and on and on and you want it to end so you can go home and go to sleep, but at the same time you want it to last forever.
If anyone knows the song 'hup kusak', it was an amazing experience to watch. It starts off really slow, with everyone sitting on the street and just swaying to the music. They kept it slow for like two minutes, and then it slowly gets faster and faster until everyone is jumping. Awesome.
It is a bonding experience. I made friends with the stranger standing next to me. Maybe I will see her again.
I love Simchas Baid Hashuava, and I appreciate it so much more now that I am older.
And more so, it makes me so PROUD to be Lubavitch! When the crowd screamed together 'Ad Mosai!' and 'We want Moshiach now!' it was powerful. I'm sure it was heard on high.
I will try to post videos tomorrow, and for those of you in town, you should definitely try to make it, as experiencing Simchas Bais Hashuava in Crown Heights is a once in a lifetime experience. There's a reason people come from all over to enjoy it.
Now, it is 6:30 am and I will start my day with waffles. And then sleep.
Chag Sameach to all!
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Happy Sukkos!
Chocolate. So. Much. Chocolate. I did not know it was even possible to make your own brownie bars, let alone napoleans. I mean besides manufactured ones. Double layer chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. Mashke cake. And that was just dessert. Who needs all this food? I propose a fast after every holiday.
Tonight is the infamous simchas bais Hashuava in Crown Heights. I am quite looking forward to it. Loud music, glow in the dark everything, and tooooons of people. And this year, I am right in the center.
Happy Chol Hamoade to everyone! Enjoy the concerts, amusement parks, carnivals, and pizza in the hut.
Tonight is the infamous simchas bais Hashuava in Crown Heights. I am quite looking forward to it. Loud music, glow in the dark everything, and tooooons of people. And this year, I am right in the center.
Happy Chol Hamoade to everyone! Enjoy the concerts, amusement parks, carnivals, and pizza in the hut.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
From the village of
"Welcome to the village of Spring Valley."
So my family lives in a village. Figures. We are villagers. Or rather they are, since I don't live here. I don't really live anywhere. I have an apartment that I call 'my place'. Well at least I have a 'place'. Ahhh, the life of an independent single girl.
It's chilly out. Perfect sukkos weather. I'm spending the first days with my family and my BEAUTIFUL niece. (Right, and my sister and brother-in-law. They don't count much.)
Happy sukkos from the village! I hope all of you have a really nice one, fun and relaxing and enjoyable. May we merit the light of Moshiach right now!
Hindsight
"Hindsight is 20 20".
I like that I can look back on events in my life and be able to say, something good came out of it. Even if it was a negative situation. Something will happen and I will meet a random person out of it and become friends. It may take me awhile but I usually get it in the end.
I'm not talking about seeing a bad situation in a good way. I'm talking about a negative situation that may still be negative, but in which I am able to say wow, there was a reason I had to go through that because [blank] happened.
Am I a better person because of it? I don't know. It's just nice to know that in the worst of places can come the most beautiful of things.
In unrelated news, these lyrics from the song 'My girl' by The Temptations are running through my head:
"I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day. When it's cold outside, I've got the month of May."
I like that I can look back on events in my life and be able to say, something good came out of it. Even if it was a negative situation. Something will happen and I will meet a random person out of it and become friends. It may take me awhile but I usually get it in the end.
I'm not talking about seeing a bad situation in a good way. I'm talking about a negative situation that may still be negative, but in which I am able to say wow, there was a reason I had to go through that because [blank] happened.
Am I a better person because of it? I don't know. It's just nice to know that in the worst of places can come the most beautiful of things.
In unrelated news, these lyrics from the song 'My girl' by The Temptations are running through my head:
"I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day. When it's cold outside, I've got the month of May."
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Stay in the game
Hands outstretched,
like tentacles,
but I have only two.
Ready to catch
whatever comes my way.
Can't let it get away.
Eyes open under water.
So murky,
can't really see.
But they are relying on me.
Hopping,
like the froggy game,
where it lights up and you have to bop it.
But this is no game.
In life, there are not many chances
to prove yourself.
Hands outstretched,
ready to catch it all.
Hoping that nothing gets by me.
Hoping I don't drop the ball,
that I make no mistakes,
cuz there is no room for mistakes.
I am hard on myself,
cuz who else will be?
like tentacles,
but I have only two.
Ready to catch
whatever comes my way.
Can't let it get away.
Eyes open under water.
So murky,
can't really see.
But they are relying on me.
Hopping,
like the froggy game,
where it lights up and you have to bop it.
But this is no game.
In life, there are not many chances
to prove yourself.
Hands outstretched,
ready to catch it all.
Hoping that nothing gets by me.
Hoping I don't drop the ball,
that I make no mistakes,
cuz there is no room for mistakes.
I am hard on myself,
cuz who else will be?
Monday, October 10, 2011
Growing pains
The girl laughs politely as the older lady peaks inside the carriage. "Wow, you have a baby now. I remember when you were little!"
"Yup", the girl say. She seems matter of fact. Not at all surprised by the fact that she grew up, got married and had a baby.
We are enthralled by the passage of time. It falls through our fingers like grains of sand. The older we get the more we say, wow, look how big you've grown! But we forget that we too have grown.
Somehow we think that the world stand still while we get older.
But then I see my neighbor whom I remember as a baby, and she is old enough to be married with her own kids. And I feel like saying, wow, look how big you've grown!
When did I stop being the one marveled at, and become the marvelee?
Time really does pass fast. It always hits me when I realize little kids have grown up.
Then I realize that I've grown up too.
"Yup", the girl say. She seems matter of fact. Not at all surprised by the fact that she grew up, got married and had a baby.
We are enthralled by the passage of time. It falls through our fingers like grains of sand. The older we get the more we say, wow, look how big you've grown! But we forget that we too have grown.
Somehow we think that the world stand still while we get older.
But then I see my neighbor whom I remember as a baby, and she is old enough to be married with her own kids. And I feel like saying, wow, look how big you've grown!
When did I stop being the one marveled at, and become the marvelee?
Time really does pass fast. It always hits me when I realize little kids have grown up.
Then I realize that I've grown up too.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Girl Power
Are you strong? Are you weak? Are you both?
What does it mean to be strong? What is strength?
Strength means different things to different people. There is extreme strength, like pulling a car off of a trapped child. There is physical strength, there is emotional strength, like going on after a loved one has died. There is psychological strength.
Strength can be the simplest of things. It can be getting up in the morning, for someone who is depressed and wants to stay in bed.
It can be saying no to cookies when you really want to eat them.
Strength is smiling at someone when you feel like screaming.
Strength is davening when that is the last thing you want to do.
Strength is saying one more kapital of tehillim when you are so tired.
Strength is never giving up.
Strength is trying again after you have given up.
Strength is getting back up when you have fallen down so many times.
What is strength to you? Think about it. Envision it. Savor it. FEEL it. And the next time you are feeling weak, don't let it get you down.
Remember, all of us have the power to be strong people. You just have to tap into it.
I say girl power because that's what it means to me. The strength to say, the only person I want to be is me, that I can do anything I try. That I am intelligent, creative, fun.
The strength to say, I am worth it, and don't let anyone tell me otherwise.
Dear world,
I am a strong person. And I am coming, so you had better watch out.
Sincerely, Altie
Where art thou
I look up at the sky and I,
I wonder why.
I do not ask why thou hath forsaken us, your people.
I do not ask how You can do all the bad things you've done.
I simply wonder, are you up there?
I look up at the sky and I,
I try not to cry.
I want to be with you, wherever that may be.
No, not in heaven. I may not go to heaven, but I want to be near you.
Is that you, in that hole between the clouds where the sun dares to shine?
Or is that you, in the particles of dust dancing in the glow of the street light?
What do you look like,
and would I recognize you if I could see you?
I look up at the sky and I,
I simply try.
I really do.
Only you will ever know the secrets of my heart and the thoughts in my head.
You will never forsake me.
You will never betray me.
For your are my rock and my redeemer.
You give and you take,
but always, you watch over me.
I look up at the sky and I,
here I lie.
Wondering, wondering if you are listening.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Forgive me
There are 3 steps to doing teshuva: 1) Realizing or acknowledging that you did something wrong, 2) regretting it and feeling bad, 3) resolving to never do it again. And the real test to know if you've done complete teshuva is when you are faced with the same situation and you do NOT make the same mistake.
This can be like an alcoholic faced with a drink. If he turns it down, he has repented. But he may be faced with that situation many times.
And the truth of the matter is, we are human. We make mistakes. Maybe one time, and maybe many times.
And as humans, we are not G-dly. We are told that G-d forgives. But humans don't always forgive, and they certainly don't always forget.
Before Yom Kippur we are supposed to ask forgiveness from our friends, or other people we may have wronged. We have been praying for 10 days, besides the whole Elul, to G-d to forgive us. But He can only forgive sins done to him. In order to be completely forgiven we must absolve ourselves to our fellow man.
It is not easy to ask forgiveness for a few reasons. It is hard to admit that you did something wrong. There's the possibility that the person will not forgive you. And it is a little bit like reliving the mistake by bringing it up.
When I was little we were told that you have to ask a person to forgive you at least 3 times, and if they refuse each time then you are absolved and G-d would forgive you. But kids are kids, and kids say whatever they want. They don't really get it.
As adults, we get it fully. We understand. And yet some people still choose to either not forgive, or to forgive with their lips and not with their heart.
How can you achieve full forgiveness in your heart? I don't know. I guess it is something you have to work on.
I heard a story about a girl who had a sick joke played on her. She took the fall for another girls prank. And for years, she never said the paragraph in the beginning of shema, "Hereini mochel lechal mi shehichis vehiknit osi"- (I forgive anyone for they wrongdoings towards me) because she didn't forgive. And she didn't forget.
Imagine holding a grudge for all those years. It can kill you. But imagine being the person holding the guilt, and knowing that you are never forgiven.
As much as your relationships to G-d can be stormy at times, it is nice and comforting to know that He will always embrace you, that He will always forgive you, and He will always take you back with open arms.
I wish that people were as G-dly as that. Maybe one day, when Moshiach comes, may it be today before Yom Kippur. (It says that Moshiach will not come on a Friday, so as not to upset all the housewives who worked so hard to prepare for Shabbos. But I think we can all make a consession just this once.)
I would like to ask forgiveness from anyone who I may have wronged. Yes, I know you are not supposed to ask forgiveness online, and that when you do ask you are supposed to specify what the wrongdoing was, (if you know, unless it will cause embarrassment.) But for many of you, this is the only way to do it.
I hope that I go into Yom Kippur pure of heart, and that I never have a problem being mochel. I cannot imagine something so bad that I wouldn't be able to forgive for.
Everyone should have an easy fast, drink a lot of water today. And I hope that ALL your prayers are answered, and that we are all sealed in the book of life, and health, and all good blessings for a good year. I am looking forward to the shofar blast at the end of Yom Kippur. It is a very intense moment.
May we merit the coming of Moshiach NOW! And it should be a really good year for everyone. (Let's compare notes next year :) )
-Altie
This can be like an alcoholic faced with a drink. If he turns it down, he has repented. But he may be faced with that situation many times.
And the truth of the matter is, we are human. We make mistakes. Maybe one time, and maybe many times.
And as humans, we are not G-dly. We are told that G-d forgives. But humans don't always forgive, and they certainly don't always forget.
Before Yom Kippur we are supposed to ask forgiveness from our friends, or other people we may have wronged. We have been praying for 10 days, besides the whole Elul, to G-d to forgive us. But He can only forgive sins done to him. In order to be completely forgiven we must absolve ourselves to our fellow man.
It is not easy to ask forgiveness for a few reasons. It is hard to admit that you did something wrong. There's the possibility that the person will not forgive you. And it is a little bit like reliving the mistake by bringing it up.
When I was little we were told that you have to ask a person to forgive you at least 3 times, and if they refuse each time then you are absolved and G-d would forgive you. But kids are kids, and kids say whatever they want. They don't really get it.
As adults, we get it fully. We understand. And yet some people still choose to either not forgive, or to forgive with their lips and not with their heart.
How can you achieve full forgiveness in your heart? I don't know. I guess it is something you have to work on.
I heard a story about a girl who had a sick joke played on her. She took the fall for another girls prank. And for years, she never said the paragraph in the beginning of shema, "Hereini mochel lechal mi shehichis vehiknit osi"- (I forgive anyone for they wrongdoings towards me) because she didn't forgive. And she didn't forget.
Imagine holding a grudge for all those years. It can kill you. But imagine being the person holding the guilt, and knowing that you are never forgiven.
As much as your relationships to G-d can be stormy at times, it is nice and comforting to know that He will always embrace you, that He will always forgive you, and He will always take you back with open arms.
I wish that people were as G-dly as that. Maybe one day, when Moshiach comes, may it be today before Yom Kippur. (It says that Moshiach will not come on a Friday, so as not to upset all the housewives who worked so hard to prepare for Shabbos. But I think we can all make a consession just this once.)
I would like to ask forgiveness from anyone who I may have wronged. Yes, I know you are not supposed to ask forgiveness online, and that when you do ask you are supposed to specify what the wrongdoing was, (if you know, unless it will cause embarrassment.) But for many of you, this is the only way to do it.
I hope that I go into Yom Kippur pure of heart, and that I never have a problem being mochel. I cannot imagine something so bad that I wouldn't be able to forgive for.
Everyone should have an easy fast, drink a lot of water today. And I hope that ALL your prayers are answered, and that we are all sealed in the book of life, and health, and all good blessings for a good year. I am looking forward to the shofar blast at the end of Yom Kippur. It is a very intense moment.
May we merit the coming of Moshiach NOW! And it should be a really good year for everyone. (Let's compare notes next year :) )
-Altie
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Clarity, Peace, Serenity
It beckons to me,
this place of wonders,
of sunshine,
of butterflies and better times.
It calls my name softly.
And I, as if in a dream,
I obey.
I stay.
Sticky hands and smiling faces,
hushed secrets in the darkness.
Squeals and shouts of glee.
Carefree.
Let the world fall away.
Hair flying,
Pumping high,
wind rushing by.
Innocence,
a time of make-believe,
of scraped knees
and hugs.
Naivety.
Belief that the world will always be
Serene.
Perfect.
Secret hide-outs,
cops and robbers,
around-the-house.
Climbing on the roof.
Chocolate chip cookies,
and hot cocoa on a cold day.
Tights and runny noses.
The feeling that everything would be okay.
Bike riding,
and dolls.
Hair pulling, fights,
but always making up.
Pinkie swear,
friends forever,
until, one day,
you move away.
Close my eyes,
I see a tunnel dug in the snow,
planting apple seeds in the hopes
of growing an apple tree.
Feet dangling from the branches
way up high
where no one can find me.
My own nest.
They call to each other,
going down the slide.
I am jolted back to reality.
I am an outsider now.
But those moments,
remembering a better time.
A park filled with children,
running happy running free.
That used to be me.
this place of wonders,
of sunshine,
of butterflies and better times.
It calls my name softly.
And I, as if in a dream,
I obey.
I stay.
Sticky hands and smiling faces,
hushed secrets in the darkness.
Squeals and shouts of glee.
Carefree.
Let the world fall away.
Hair flying,
Pumping high,
wind rushing by.
Innocence,
a time of make-believe,
of scraped knees
and hugs.
Naivety.
Belief that the world will always be
Serene.
Perfect.
Secret hide-outs,
cops and robbers,
around-the-house.
Climbing on the roof.
Chocolate chip cookies,
and hot cocoa on a cold day.
Tights and runny noses.
The feeling that everything would be okay.
Bike riding,
and dolls.
Hair pulling, fights,
but always making up.
Pinkie swear,
friends forever,
until, one day,
you move away.
Close my eyes,
I see a tunnel dug in the snow,
planting apple seeds in the hopes
of growing an apple tree.
Feet dangling from the branches
way up high
where no one can find me.
My own nest.
They call to each other,
going down the slide.
I am jolted back to reality.
I am an outsider now.
But those moments,
remembering a better time.
A park filled with children,
running happy running free.
That used to be me.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Disconnect to Protect
Yes, it's catchy and I came up with it myself. (Okay, half of it is from the "Day to Disconnect" project, (which happens to be today) and the other half is from Lysol, disinfect to protect. But hey, it took a genius to bring the two together :) )
I have a confession to make: I am addicted to my laptop. I cannot even tell you how many hours I am on it each day, or each week. I waste so much time.
So, I am taking a stand. I am giving my laptop to my friend for a week, from today until after Yom Kipper. And yes, I have email and internet on my phone, but I am going to sign out and not check it. You have my word on that.
What will I do with my free time? I don't know. Maybe take walks, go to a museum, read a book, (ya they still make those), call people on the PHONE, (remember that?). Learn something. There are so many better things I can be doing with my time then wasting it on the computer.
So farewell my friends, for a week.
And for those of you who have my number, feel free to CALL me :) Yes, I will be accepting phone calls. (Email or leave comments as well, I can't wait to see how many emails I'll have after a week of not checking it.)
I shall let you know in a weeks time how this little experiment plays out. Who knows, it may very well be the best thing I've ever done in my life.
Tata for now!
I have a confession to make: I am addicted to my laptop. I cannot even tell you how many hours I am on it each day, or each week. I waste so much time.
So, I am taking a stand. I am giving my laptop to my friend for a week, from today until after Yom Kipper. And yes, I have email and internet on my phone, but I am going to sign out and not check it. You have my word on that.
What will I do with my free time? I don't know. Maybe take walks, go to a museum, read a book, (ya they still make those), call people on the PHONE, (remember that?). Learn something. There are so many better things I can be doing with my time then wasting it on the computer.
So farewell my friends, for a week.
And for those of you who have my number, feel free to CALL me :) Yes, I will be accepting phone calls. (Email or leave comments as well, I can't wait to see how many emails I'll have after a week of not checking it.)
I shall let you know in a weeks time how this little experiment plays out. Who knows, it may very well be the best thing I've ever done in my life.
Tata for now!
"Tracht gut vet zain gut"
What would you do if a fly fell into your coffee?
Russian- take it out and drink the coffee.
Chinese- take it out, eat the fly and throw out the coffee.
Israeli- take it out, sell the fly to the Chinese, sell the coffee to the Russian, and then invent a machine that will prevent flies from falling into coffee.
It is all about perspectives. How do you view things? In what light does your mind process events?
Walter Lantz and his wife, Gracie, were honeymooning in Sherwood Lake, California. A noisy woodpecker outside their cabin kept the couple awake at night, and when a heavy rain started, they learned that the bird had bored holes in their cabin's roof. Walter wanted to shoot the thing, but Gracie suggested that her husband make a cartoon about the bird, and thus Woody Woodpecker was born. They went on to make millions of dollars, and on their 50th wedding anniversary they said that the woodpecker was the best thing that ever happened to them.
Something positive came out of something negative.
A story is told in Navi about the prophet Eli. He used to travel a lot, and when he came to a certain city he would stay at the same couple's house every time. They were very hospitable and eventually the wife had her husband build a special loft where Eli could stay every time he came.
During one of his visits, he asked the kind lady how he could repay her. But she refused, saying she had everything she needed.
Eli's servant found out that the couple was childless, and so he blessed them that within the year they would have a child.
And so it was.
Years later, when the child was 9, he was out in the field with his father when he complained of a headache. His father sent him back to the house so his mother could take care of him. He fell ill quickly, and within a few hours, he died.
The mother picked up his lifeless form, brought him to the loft and put him into Eli's bed. Then she saddled her donkey and set out to go to the prophet. Her husband saw her rushing away and inquired as to where she was going. She told him she was going to see Eli and he asked why. She said don't worry, everything is fine, I just have to go.
When she was arriving in the town, Eli saw her coming and sent his servant to go greet her. He relayed to his servant to ask her 3 things: How are you? How is your husband? How is your son?
The servant met her and asked her these 3 things. She responded 'Shalom', good, to all 3 things.
How can she say her child is good when he is lying dead??
She told the servant to please take her right away to the prophet. She rushed into the prophet's house and fell down at his feet crying. She told him that her child died. "He is not my child. I did not ask for him. You gave him to me! How could you let him die??"
He left with her and they rushed back to her house, where Eli went up to the loft and revived the dead child. He performed a miracle and the child lived many more years.
Now we ask, who in their right mind would rush off without telling her husband that their child died? Why did she not stop to tell Eli's servant about what happened? How could she have answered that everything was okay?
Because she knew that if she stopped she would waste time and she would be deterred. She would lose hope and would not do what she had to do.
In life we have to think positive. That does not mean that bad things won't happen to us. But when bad things happen, how will you react to it?
Will you see a dead fly in your coffee, or will you see opportunity?
There's a famous saying in yidish, "Tracht gut, vet zain gut"- think good, and it will be good.
The choice, my friends, is up to you.
Russian- take it out and drink the coffee.
Chinese- take it out, eat the fly and throw out the coffee.
Israeli- take it out, sell the fly to the Chinese, sell the coffee to the Russian, and then invent a machine that will prevent flies from falling into coffee.
It is all about perspectives. How do you view things? In what light does your mind process events?
Walter Lantz and his wife, Gracie, were honeymooning in Sherwood Lake, California. A noisy woodpecker outside their cabin kept the couple awake at night, and when a heavy rain started, they learned that the bird had bored holes in their cabin's roof. Walter wanted to shoot the thing, but Gracie suggested that her husband make a cartoon about the bird, and thus Woody Woodpecker was born. They went on to make millions of dollars, and on their 50th wedding anniversary they said that the woodpecker was the best thing that ever happened to them.
Something positive came out of something negative.
A story is told in Navi about the prophet Eli. He used to travel a lot, and when he came to a certain city he would stay at the same couple's house every time. They were very hospitable and eventually the wife had her husband build a special loft where Eli could stay every time he came.
During one of his visits, he asked the kind lady how he could repay her. But she refused, saying she had everything she needed.
Eli's servant found out that the couple was childless, and so he blessed them that within the year they would have a child.
And so it was.
Years later, when the child was 9, he was out in the field with his father when he complained of a headache. His father sent him back to the house so his mother could take care of him. He fell ill quickly, and within a few hours, he died.
The mother picked up his lifeless form, brought him to the loft and put him into Eli's bed. Then she saddled her donkey and set out to go to the prophet. Her husband saw her rushing away and inquired as to where she was going. She told him she was going to see Eli and he asked why. She said don't worry, everything is fine, I just have to go.
When she was arriving in the town, Eli saw her coming and sent his servant to go greet her. He relayed to his servant to ask her 3 things: How are you? How is your husband? How is your son?
The servant met her and asked her these 3 things. She responded 'Shalom', good, to all 3 things.
How can she say her child is good when he is lying dead??
She told the servant to please take her right away to the prophet. She rushed into the prophet's house and fell down at his feet crying. She told him that her child died. "He is not my child. I did not ask for him. You gave him to me! How could you let him die??"
He left with her and they rushed back to her house, where Eli went up to the loft and revived the dead child. He performed a miracle and the child lived many more years.
Now we ask, who in their right mind would rush off without telling her husband that their child died? Why did she not stop to tell Eli's servant about what happened? How could she have answered that everything was okay?
Because she knew that if she stopped she would waste time and she would be deterred. She would lose hope and would not do what she had to do.
In life we have to think positive. That does not mean that bad things won't happen to us. But when bad things happen, how will you react to it?
Will you see a dead fly in your coffee, or will you see opportunity?
There's a famous saying in yidish, "Tracht gut, vet zain gut"- think good, and it will be good.
The choice, my friends, is up to you.
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