I walked into my old classroom from 12th grade. The wave of emotions that hit me were unexpected. I didn't like high school when I was there, so I assumed the same feelings of resentment would surface when I revisited. But instead I missed it.
I saw myself three years ago sitting there with my friends, joking and laughing and arguing. This is where it all took place. I missed the feeling of being a part of something, the feeling of being protected and part of a little world where everything that happened was on a much smaller scale. The repercussions of our actions were not that great. We were sheltered from the reality of the "real" world. I can't help feeling like I'm on my own now and everything I do really matters.
I had a heart to heart talk with my old principal, the very same one who I couldn't stand, who shoed me back into class and threatened to send me home when I cut class. Suddenly, I saw her in a different light. She did all that because she cared about me, and still does. I respect her in a much different way now. I feel like a real person, I live in the real world now instead of the pseudo-make believe world we called high school.
It was weird not knowing most of the girls there. But it was okay. They were not around when I was in high school, and they will never share my memories. I mean nothing to them but that's okay too. One day they won't mean anything to the next generation.
School was such a big part of my life. It's hard knowing it's over and will never be again.
I totally know the feeling!! I felt the same way when I joined the shabbaton a few years after I graduated high school!
ReplyDeleteIt's always a bit of a sad feeling, like how come you don't know me, I was a legend when I was in school here.
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