Back in the day, we were on a first-name basis with our mail man. Back in the day it was also acceptable to say mail 'man'. Now the correct term is mail carrier, or mail person. But if the problem is the gender prejudice, then why say 'mail' at all. Why not say, "Person who delivers my bills and credit card offers", or in short- DOBN- Deliverer Of Bad News. Ya, my DOBiN just dropped something off today. That is so gonna catch on.
Oh great, more bills. Um, no thanks. Reject. Reject. Like a dating website where a guy who you are totally not into tries to chat you up. Reject. Um, sorry but no. I would not like this please of mail. Please return it to the post office.
An essay you have to submit by midnight and no interest in doing it? No thank you, I reject it. Bad grade on your test? Reject. Delivery refused, return to sender.
Yes, all bad puns connected with shipping. I have experience at a shipping company.
Another birthday, another year older? Na, send it back. Not interested in 2-4. Anything else, please?
Well, I actually do have an essay due tonight. Procrastination.... oooooh procrastination. But then I'm home free! Going to Florida for a few days vacation.
Vacation? I'll sign for that.
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