I went power walking tonight with a friend. Got to try out my new sneakers. No, not the converses. Those are still up for grabs.
As we were walking back I started a discussion. I read MM's blog post. (For those of you who hate clicking links as much as I do,) in short, someone saw religious guys from Monsey on a cruise. They took off their kappatos (religious garb) and head coverings, ate not kosher food, smoked on Friday night, took pictures with non religious girls, all with their long peyos hanging out. Ironic. So I mentioned to my friend how great it is that we are Lubavitch, and we could do all of those things but we don't have to hide it.
(Maybe that is a flaw in Lubavitxh, or religion in general, that kids can feel so free in the wrong things they do. But to me, if you do something wrong at least be honest about it. Don't hide it.)
Ok that was kind of a joke. Yes all those things are wrong. But in my opinion, being that they are so sheltered, their desire to rebel and do bad things is so much stronger. For me, because I watch TV, read newspapers, and basically have a general picture of what the outside world is like, I don't have the urge to go all shikse or OTD. Sheltered being the key word here.
That's not even the main part.
We were almost home, we stopped to chat when a black girl walked up to us and said, 'excuse me, can I ask you something?' Now, being a resident of Brooklyn, here is where one generally says 'Run!'. But I said sure. It wasn't that late, there were people walking by, and I figured, if she asks for money, all I have is my cell phone.
It was like G-d sent her from heaven. Her name was Anet. The first words out of her mouth were, 'you guys are Jewish, right?' To which I responded yes. 'But your hair's not covered. You're not married, right?' Again, yes.
Anet proceeded to tell us, 'wow so you guys are modern Jews.' I winced a bit. She mentioned the 'guys with the long peyos (she motioned by her ears in a curling manner) and how they pass her in the street and if she says shalom they don't respond. She thought it was so nice that we were talking to her. She's Baptist. She tried different religions and didn't like any of them. No, this is not some story where we successfully convert someone. That is not our goal anyway. But she was genuinely impressed by us, and how we were 'modern' Jews, not like the ones who look like robots and don't talk to anyone.
And here's the kicker: she mentioned exactly what we were just talking about. She said, how can you recruit people to your religion if you won't even talk to them? We explained to her how some people have higher standards, how some people are more concerned about learning Torah and don't want to waste time. (In a positive light.)
We told her about the seven Noahide laws. She thought I was talking about the 10 commandments.
She asked me if I ever saw her walking with her dog. She lives just a block away. I politely told her no I don't think I've seen her before.
I was left dazed. And with food for thought.
I don't like going on mivtzoyim. It makes me nervous. Plus, I feel like I'm supposed to be representing something that I don't adequately represent. I feel like I'm straddling the line. On the one hand, to me it seems like frum people judge me, for how I dress, act, speak, and they measure what level of religion I'm on.
On the other hand, non religious, or even non Jewish people for that matter praise me and find it so amazing what and who I am. It's confusing.
I wish I could say I properly represented Jews, and that I influenced someone today. But that, I will never know.
great label u have there
ReplyDeletelol. Im new at labeling. just started it.
ReplyDeleteInteresting experience.
ReplyDeleteI am wondering if you mentioned we don't really recruit people. The whole no missionary halacha thing. People have to really want to join...
On the whole sounds like you provided a positive and enjoyable experience for the woman. Kiddush hashem points.
Sounds like someone has some hidden kiruv talents.
I think I was going to, but she was talking to fast to get any words in.
ReplyDeletedo I? well one time I was in a chabad house and an old lady came in and kissed my cheek. I still can't figure out if she thought she knew me or was just really friendly... and then the shlucha told me I would make a good shlucha someday. And I got all warm and fuzzy inside.
Ya I'm not so sure about those talents. But thanks.
The greatness of Lubavitch is that we're so open, but at the same time, that may be our weakness. Gotta be careful.
ReplyDeleteYou make it sound as though had the bochurim been lubavs, the surprise wouldn't be as great. Why so? Does being able to associate ourselves with the outside world have to mean a lowering of standard? I think we can have both - the association and the frumkeit - no problem.
Two thoughts:
ReplyDelete1. There was a construction project in Lubavitch, and the Rebbe Rashab passed by his son, the Freidiker Rebbe, and saw that he was staring out the window, watching the work on the building.
Later, the Rebbe Rashab told his son the following: "It's better to be on the outside, looking in, than on the inside and looking out." (source)
While we might be enlightened about the outside world, we still see them differently than they see us.
2. It's amazing to realize the effect we can have on our neighborhood, if we were more polite to strangers on the street (regardless of their race).
Thinker- the same way that people hold Chabad above the rest of the frum world and point out our every flaw and mistake because they hold us to a higher standard, in my mind the 'yolis' or chassidim with the long peyos are more sheltered or frum then me. Therefore it comes as a bigger shock when they do something wrong.
ReplyDeleteYes, we CAN have association with the outside world and still maintain frumkeit. But unfortunately there are many teens in Lubavitch who have gone OTD and they are open about it. I just appreciate the honesty more then people doing stuff in secret.
justaguy- to number 1, Ive heard that before. But whats the alternative? If you crave to be outside, just leave? Some people really dont want to be here. I dont think the solution is to encourage them to go.
Well it was definitely a pleasant surprise. I am by far not a racist, but it is hard not to be wary of your neighbors when you've had negative experiences with some of them in the past.
hey, guy, thanks for the link. It makes me feel good that people remember things I post.
ReplyDeletelol i didnt even realize you were his source. i dont click on links. very holy source.
ReplyDelete