Don't try this at home, (boys and) girls

Ever wore a short a-line fluttery skirt on a windy day? Bad combination. Really bad day to wear such a skirt. Picture a Marilyn situation:

Try walking down the street clutching at your skirt every time you feel a breeze, for fear of it blowing up and showing off everything you got. Caution: can cause much anxiety.

Lesson learned.

No need to be frum all the time?

I always find it funny when I see guys running down the block carrying their yalmukas in hand. So, like, because you are running it's okay to not wear it? Yes, I know it is awkward when you run while holding one hand over your head to keep it in place. Personally, I've never tried it. Truthfully, I've never worn a yalmuka. Try bobby pins?

We've all heard the question, are you frum if you are only frum in public, but not in private. But what does it make you if you are willing to do things publicly that are wrong?

Maybe they didn't even realize, and it was a subconscious gesture, you run, you carry it so it doesn't fly off. But if you are not even thinking about what you are doing, are you not properly serving Hashem?

I may be thinking too much into this. On my break, watching 2 guys cross in middle of the street, waiting for traffic to die down, BOTH of them took off their yalmukas to dash in front of traffic and put them back on when they got to the other side.It may me laugh.

It's like a joke. Why did the frum guys cross the street?

What would you say the punch line is?

Love me tender

Lyrics can be found here.

Oldies, but goodies. Sometimes you just listen to soft music, and try to believe that love really does exist.

Carpe Diem

You're in a supermarket. The lines are all long. Everyone has full shopping carts at the checkout counters. You only have 5 items. Even the '15 items or less' isles are full. You pick a line that seems the shortest. You wait impatiently, wondering how long this will take. Suddenly, you see another line start moving. You make a quick decision. You dash for that line. Right before you get there, someone with an overflowing shopping cart cuts in front of you and get's there first. You turn around, ready to run back to the original line. There are five more people on line, and by now you would have been at the head of the line.

Carpe Diem. Seize the day. If an opportunity comes along, jump on it. Good things don't wait for you. They pass you by. You miss them.

It says, "Good things come to those who wait", but I say, good things come to those who put in effort and make it happen.

?אם לא עכשיו, אימתי (Pirkei Avoth 1:14) If not now, when?

Just do it.

Waiting

Holding my breath,
waiting for things to
change?

To fall into place.
To get better.
To magically work out.

Every day I wait.
Wondering if
today will be the day.

I stopped waiting.
I did something about it.
Now I am waiting to see if it'll pan out.

I know that
waiting isn't enough.

I could wait my whole life
for nothing.

Or work towards achieving
everything.

Tonight,
I want to believe that
anything is possible.

I want you to hold my hand
and tell me that
everything will be okay.

And I will believe you.
Because I have to.

Sometimes the people
who you want to talk to the most
don't understand.

So you sit on the phone in silence,
and try to convey how you feel.

And you say,
'Good night Ma,
I love you.'

Sometimes, silence is enough.
It has to be.

Tonight,
I will be silent.

And you will pretend to know how I feel.

Don't try to fill the silence.
Just listen
and hear what I am not telling you.

And try to understand.

Gimmel Tamuz

Excerpt from the editor of Chabad.org:

Dear readers,

This coming Shabbat marks 18 years since the passing of the Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, of sainted memory.

Shortly after the passing of his father-in-law, the sixth Rebbe, the Rebbe remarked, "The sun is always shining. Even when it is night on one half of the globe, there is sunshine on the other. And even where it is dark, the brightness is present through the stars.

"In the same way," the Rebbe concluded, "my saintly father-in-law is still present and radiant through the stars: the Jewish people."

Throughout the decades of his leadership, the Rebbe touched the lives of many thousands. He taught, advised, encouraged, and brought meaning to people's lives. He loved everyone. He celebrated with them and mourned with them.

The Rebbe still continues to touch lives—but this time it is through us. Whether we actually met the Rebbe, corresponded with him, or even learned his teachings, it is our duty to become the "stars" that convey the love that the Rebbe radiated.

Rabbi Mendy Kaminker,

on behalf of the Chabad.org Editorial Team

I went to the ohel Tuesday night to daven at the Rebbe's kever. A secular woman, obviously unsure of what to do, turned to a frum woman and said "What are the rules here?". To which the religious woman replied, "There are no rules."

It brings us merit to daven at the graves of any tzaddikim, especially great Rabbeim. The Lubavitcher Rebbe holds a dear place in my heart. I see so many different types of people at his kever, I find it such a beautiful thing to see who comes there. People who are obviously not religious, people from different chassidic sects, some people who may not even be Jewish. They come because they recognize what a great and special leader the Rebbe was.

I feel his presence in my life every day, to which I am grateful. This is a beautiful article to read.

And a post I wrote 3 years ago.

Wishing everyone a spiritual and meaningful Gimmel Tamuz.

Truth, or...?

Trying to breath
through the smog.
Can't see,
glasses fogged.

Just a hole,
a little light.
Gotta get out,
have to make this right.

The cloud is thick.
It's closing in.
Stifling me.
Wearing me thin.

And it doesn't stop.
It's sucking out the air.
No where to go,
once it gets here.

Trying to sort the truths
from all the lies.
Who are my enemies.
And who are my allies.

Messing with my head,
it freaks me out.
Please just stop!
I want to shout.

Because when the people
who are supposed to protect you
turn on you,
then what do you have left?

A thick cloud of smog,
a bunch of lies,
and a whole lot of questions.

Is any of this real?
Who can you believe?

When they mess with your head
and you are unsure who to believe-
you trust absolutely no one.

But yourself.

I just want to say goodbye

I hate goodbyes. I hate endings. I hate moving on from situations that I have been in for awhile. Be it school, camp, jobs. Goodbyes make me cry. They make me sad. Even if sometimes they are for the best. You are moving on to bigger and better things. New beginnings. More opportunities. But I still find it hard and wish I didn't have to go through it.

Be that as it may, goodbyes are a part of life. We can't stay in the same place forever, so often we will find ourselves having to let go and move on. It is not always easy.

Why do we have such a hard time letting go? When it's time to leave and say goodbye, do you hold on just a tiny bit longer?

When I was 12 I went to overnight camp. I had a sucky great time. At the end of the summer, I had to say my goodbyes. I came home after being away for 2 months. My house felt different and weird. I hadn't seen my family in awhile. So I sang the goodbye song that we sang at the end of camp, and I cried. Because I missed it. I missed the friends I made, the experience. And my family, they didn't understand. Because they weren't there with me.

The chorus of the song went like this:

"It's so hard to say goodbye.
No it's not easy to part.
Holding back the cries.
It's sure to break my heart.

Memories of days.
And everything we've done.
Deep down in my soul,
I am you, yes we are one."

It was hard for me to go away for high school. I cried every time I left home to go back to school. When I graduated high school, I didn't want to move on to seminary. When seminary was over, I didn't want to say goodbye to everything, the friends, the experience, Israel. But I did.

Since then, I haven't had that many goodbyes. I don't know if that's a good thing. Either I am not meeting many new people, or I am managing to keep people in my life.

Would it be easier if we never say goodbye?

There's a saying, "Chassidim dagenin zich nisht"- Chassidim never part. Because we are always one, we are always united.

"I'll never say goodbye.
Chassidim dagenin zich nisht,
we will never part.
Farbrenging side by side
we are joined as one heart.

Every memory,
has made a change in me.
Now I must bring it to reality."

Ask a child who's parent snuck off in middle of the night and never came back. Or a child who lost a parent suddenly. They never got a chance to say goodbye.

Goodbyes are not always easy. But they bring closure. It is an ending. It's over. You say your goodbyes, and now you can move on.

Just writing about it makes me sad. I think about all the people I left behind, all the years that are gone. I wonder and I hope that it has all stuck with me, and contributed to who I am today.

I wish we didn't have to go through the pain of saying goodbyes in order to become the people that we are meant to be.

But that is life.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,

it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty;

to provide you with guidance and support;

to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend, and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,

this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

So goodbye, to all those that I have left behind. The good, the bad, and the unmemorable.

Insanity

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." (Attributed to Albert Einstein, Benjamin Franklin, Mark Twain, Narcotics Anonymous, and Rita Mae Brown, depending on who you ask.)

Ever do that thing where you open the fridge 5 times in a row, thinking maybe this time there will be something new in there that you haven't seen yet? Only there isn't, since you already saw it all. The only difference is, the more time passes the more desperate you get, willing to eat something you would not have touched before.

Why do we do the same thing over and over again? Is it because we do not believe we will get the same outcome? Do we honestly think something new will come out of it?

I know someone who applied to law school 3 times until she got accepted. And someone else who failed their driving test 3 times before she passed. So what is it that makes us keep coming back time after time after we fail every time?

Is it determination? Is it the desire to succeed despite all indicators pointing to obvious failure?

In certain situations, like trying to move a really heavy object, we try and try again because we know the end result is possible, we just need to put in a lot of effort. The object itself has the ability to be moved, it just depends on us. So pushing it numerous times can only help us reach our goal.

But something like opening up the fridge again and again knowing that the items inside have not changed in that short time, is that not crazy?

Personally, I have a problem with failure. It doesn't take a lot for me to give up and say oh well it didn't work. At least I tried. But have I? When can you truly say that you have tried, that you have put in all the effort you could, and that you are done? Are we ever done? Do we ever get to stop trying?

Insanity may be doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results, but what if we knew that one of those times we would be successful, we just didn't know which time it would be? Would we give up then, knowing that a successful outcome is guaranteed, so long as we never give up trying?

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."

We can't ever really know what difference our efforts make. In that case, never stop trying.

Even if that makes us all insane.

AnONyMous

You see me,
but you don't see me.

You look at me.
You wonder about me.

Do you know me?
We make eye contact.

I look away.
You don't know me.

You have never met me.
You have never seen me before.

You don't know my name.
You don't know who I am.

You don't know anything about me.
I'm anonymous.

You pass me by.
You don't look back.

You never met me.
You never will.

I am invisible to you.
Because I am AnONyMous.

What goes around comes around

It's the cycle of life, in many capacities. It's the same thing as 'Mida keneged mida' a measure for a measure. What you do to others will eventually come back to you, good or bad.

Do you believe in Karma?

kar·ma
[kahr-muh]
noun
1. Hinduism, Buddhism . action, seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad, either in this life or in a reincarnation: in Hinduism one of the means of reaching Brahman. Compare bhakti ( def. 1 ) , jnana.

2. Theosophy . the cosmic principle according to which each person is rewarded or punished in one incarnation according to that person's deeds in the previous incarnation.

It may not be a Jewish concept, but we believe in it too.

Think about it. You do something good for someone and something good happens to you unexpectedly.

The same with negative things. Unfortunately, I have noticed that we often get hurt in the exact same way that we hurt someone else. It is harsh, but it makes us realize what our actions really mean to someone.

Only G-d can judge us and punish us for the wrong things that we do. I don't believe it is up to us to decide that things that happen to us are a direct result of something bad that we did. However, we do have to be aware of how our actions affect someone else.

Here is a nice video I like that shows 'What goes around comes around' in a positive way:

How much money do I have?

$500 dollars more than yesterday!

Imagine my surprise when I got my daily available balance email from my bank and I have $500.00 in my account that I have no idea where it came from. Then I remembered.

Tax dollars! Yay for filing taxes!

I could go on a rant about why does the government steal my money, what do they want from me, I don't make a lot of money, I don't take anything from them so don't take anything from me, etc etc. But they gave some of it back, which is very honest indeed.

There is an episode from Friends where Phoebe gets upset at her bank because they deposited $500 dollars in her account by mistake. When she informed them about the error, they apologized and gave her $500 dollars MORE, thinking she meant that they owed her money. She kept saying this is bad, she can't keep the money, or it will mess everything up. Something about the Universe playing with her. So she gave the thousand dollars to a homeless woman. Then she found a thumb in a can of soda (weird.) She told the company, and they gave her $7,000 dollars. Most people would just take the money and not complain. Phoebe is not most people.

This is the first time I filed taxes, so it was a pleasant surprise to get money back. I think I will file more often! (Yes, I do realize that if I didn't pay taxes at all I wouldn't need to get some of my money back I would have all of it.)

Let's just say like this: if no one paid taxes, we would all be hauling our own garbage to the state dump. I have no idea where they bring the garbage.

Okay that's all I got. What else do our tax dollars do?

Would you please let me be in your yeshiva

To the tune of: "Would you please let me sing in the choir"

Would you please let me be in your yeshiva?
I would come even if it was in Geneva.
I just want to wear a kippa.
And daven at the bima.
Would you please let me be in your yeshiva?

My white shirt is kind of stained.
My family doesn't have a big name.
I believe we are all the same.
I will try not to complain.
Would you please let me be in your yeshiva?

I want to learn with a chavrusa.
I would love to learn Gemara.
Please teach me some Torah.
I will buy a black fedora.
Would you please let me be in your yeshiva?

I want to try the mikva dip.
Night seder I will not skip.
I won't make illegal trips.
Vodka I won't sip.
Would you please let me be in your yeshiva?

I don't have lots of money.
Yes I know that is not funny.
But please can't you see.
It is the perfect place for me.
Would you please let me be in your yeshiva?

The Yeshiva world always mystified me. What goes on behind closed doors? I have heard outrageous stories, of filling the mikva with foam, drowning dorm rooms in popcorn, physical fights, passing around illegal alcohol, stealing dorm counselor's glasses, getting a fine for not making your bed, and all kinds of crazy pranks. The way boys make it sound, yeshiva is like camp, 24/7. But what are they not telling me? What really goes on in a yeshiva?

I once joined a boys farbrengin. No, I did not dress up and pretend to be a guy. Although, I was a Rabbi once in a play, and my costume and beard was so convincing that when I walked into the audience before it started to say hi to my mother, women's heads turned, like what the heck is a rabbi doing at a girls play?

This particular farbrengin was an impromptu event on a motzei Shabbos. One of the sons of the family I lived by called up his mother and said prepare some food, half the yeshiva is coming over for a farbengin. Turns out a boy was leaving yeshiva, so they had a farbrengin to give him chizuk and remind him to behave properly wherever he was.

I sat in the other room and I listened, until 2 in the morning. The way they spoke to each other, the way they sang the same song over and over and over again. I have been to many girls farbrengins in high school. Most of the time we would rush through a niggun and someone would suggest a new one. But the boys looped around and around on the same song for awhile.

And the way they 'rebuked' each other. I have heard from people that if girls spoke to each other at farbrengins the same way guys did, everyone would be in tears. That may be true. If you want to rebuke a friend, it has to come from a place of love, with only their best interest at heart.

It is much a curiosity of something I don't know anything about and probably never will. Is yeshiva as fun as people make it out to be? As awful? What is it really all about?

A well-known rabbi lives upstairs from my apartment. Every Friday night, he has a farbrengin in his house. I always see tons of boys going in and out. Sometimes, when I get back from my meal late at night, I sit on the steps and listen to them sing. There is something so nice about hearing a whole bunch of boys singing niggunim together.

No, I will never be a boy. I will never go to yeshiva. I am sure I will hear lots more stories about it, some true, some exaggerated, some made up. It seems to be a rival thing. I'm sure boys are curious about what goes on in girls high schools too.

So I will sit on the stairs, and listen in, to that mysterious world that I will never be a part of.

And I thank G-d 'She'asani kirtzono'.

Recess- School's out!

Yesterday there were 2 different classes that got on the subway, presumably going on a class trip. I always loved end of the year trips. Who cares where we went, even boring museums, as long as we got time off from class.

Today I saw quite a few students on the train going to school later than usual. I realized they were holding notes and studying. I assume they get to go to school late if they are just taking finals.

I loved this time of year in school. When you can see the finish line, so close, the end almost near. The weather is gorgeous, the outdoors are beckoning, final grades are in, it is time to say goodbye to your friends, have a great summer and.... SCHOOL'S OUT!

Though I am really happy that I am not in school anymore, I am excited for these kids. Summer is usually something to look forward to.

Today I went home for Shabbos. A bus ride that should have take an hour and fifteen minutes took 4 hours. FOUR HOURS! I am thoroughly exhausted and looking forward to sleeping on Shabbos.

Hope everyone has a great Shabbos and enjoys this gorgeous weather!

Bluesy Blues

Sometimes I find myself feeling down for no reason at all. Life is fine. I have no real problems to speak of, B"H. But it's late, and it's dark out, my friends are away. What do you do when you find yourself feeling blue? What will snap you out of your melancholy mood?

Here are some do's and don'ts:

1) Candy is a great mood lifter. Or chocolate, or ice cream, or cookies. It is different for each person. But just remember, whatever you eat today will still be with you tomorrow. Calories make no exceptions for bad moods.

2) Friends are a great pick-me-up. If they are available. Hit someone up. Preferably someone who is fun and funny and you are guaranteed to laugh just by being around them.

3) Music. Something loud and beaty, you do not want sad slow songs to feed into your bad mood.

4) Funny show or movie. Preferably while eating popcorn. Everything seems better when eating popcorn.

5) Take a walk. Sit on a bench, observe the people around you. Enjoy the breeze. Go somewhere loud and filled with a lot of people. I like Times Square. It makes you feel like a part of something, and the hustle and bustle drowns out your bad mood.

Here are some things NOT to do when you are feeling down:

1) Do NOT drunk dial an ex, or any guy for that matter. This includes texting, emailing, or any form of communication. You WILL regret it later. Any guy you are thinking of calling, don't.

2) Do not lay in the dark listening to sad music and crying. Not worth it. Save your tears.

3) Do not eat yourself sick. Comfort food is okay in moderation, but not if it'll make you sick later.

4) Do not get drunk. Do not sing kareoke. Do not do anything stupid that you will regret later.

5) DO NOT WALLOW! That is the worst thing you can do in a bad mood. Do everything you can to pull yourself out of it, as fast as possible.

Unless there is a good reason for your bluesy mood, in which case FIX IT, usually the mood will pass quickly, as long as you don't dwell on it.

Remember: Tomorrow is a new day.

And 'This too shall pass.'

Enjoy your nutty chews.

Healing

They say time heals all wounds. I don't believe that. It is not true. There are some things that never heal. Maybe the pain subsides, but the wound will always be fresh. Ask a parent who lost a child if time really heals all wounds.

Did you ever have a tooth pulled? Or get a cavity filled? Or think back to a time when you got a bad burn, or a cut. You wake up every morning, and your mind automatically checks for pain, subconsciously. It's like sticking your tongue into a hole and wondering if the cavity is still there.

Sometimes the pain is strong, and sometimes it is just a blip on your radar. Sometimes you can't get through the day, you double over in pain every time you are reminded of your wound. And sometimes it is in the back of your mind, almost forgotten. Almost, but not quite.

And then one morning, you wake up. You do the mental check. You expect the pain. You brace yourself for it.

Nothing. There is no pain. It is gone. The wound is closed, it has healed.

It might come back once in awhile, in flashes. Moments, when you remember. But even that will fade.

One day you will wake up and not think about the pain at all. You won't expect it, you won't prepare for it. It won't be there and you will have forgotten it was ever there in the first place.

That is healing.

They say time heals all wounds. I say time heals some wounds, and the rest of them- we learn how to live with them, until they fade into the background, forgotten.

Exclusive

I don't like to share. My whole life I have been going against my nature, ever since I was taught as a toddler that it is a mitzvah to share and we love to do mitzvos (and even if we didn't, we MUST share cuz the teacher said so, so I didn't really have a choice in the matter.) It gets hard living with other people. Don't get me wrong- I love helping people out. I don't mind if people borrow my stuff. I even find myself saying, "Sure no problem, no need to ask!".

But there's that tiny voice that says 'mine!' and won't let go. It's like the little child inside of me that doesn't want to part with my possessions. I guess in Pirkei Avos I would fall into the category of 'Sheli sheli veshelach shelach'- what's mine is mine, and what's yours is yours. I won't take from you, and please don't take from me.

There is one area where it is okay to not share. Men. Or women. Ever heard of the term 'exclusive' in regards to a relationship? I find it ridiculous. It should be a given that if you are in a relationship with someone you are only with THEM and not with anyone else as the moment.

Scenario: Friends of a guy find out that his fiance was dating another guy while they were dating. They are scared to tell him but don't wanna ruin his life by keeping it from him. So they tell him. His response: "Oh I knew about that, don't worry we weren't exclusive then."

It is quite common in the secular world that when couples are dating, in the early stages, it is okay if they date other people at the same time. Until they have a talk and that magic word 'exclusive' comes into the picture.

"Do you want to be exclusive?"
"Yes!"

And just like that, they only date each other and not other people.

It doesn't make sense to me. Why would you want to date other people anyway if you are already with someone? It's one thing if you date someone, it doesn't work out, and the next night you date someone else. Maybe that's a bit quick, but at least you are not dating 2 or more people at one time.

Learning how to share is something one can work on. It is encouraged even. We can all learn to give a little more than we are comfortable with.

But in a relationship- there is no sharing. Anyone who tells you that it is normal is in denial. Nobody should have 2 people on their plate at the same time. It is not fair to anyone involved.

Disassociation

To sever the association of (oneself); separate:
An act or instance of dissociating.

How does one untangle themselves from someone who is clinging on? What do you say to someone whom you no longer want to speak to? Stop calling me? Stop texting me? Leave me alone?

What if they need help and they are turning to you? Do you have an obligation to help them if it will negatively impact you in the process?

How do you get away from someone whom you no longer wish to have contact with?

All the wrong places

"Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be"

I am very self-aware, which is not always a good thing. I have a need to stop and assess my actions all the time at every step of the way. I analyze myself, my surroundings, my choices, in every single situation. This does not always bring change, or good results. Sometimes it scares me to the point that I just stop and don't move forward.

I have a hard time making decisions. Even once I made a decision I go over it in my mind again and again to make sure it was the right one and that I am not 'missing out' by passing up the other choice. Most times it doesn't even make sense to rethink it. Like when I decided to fly instead of taking the bus. The flight was quicker but the bus was cheaper. Even after I paid and was on my way I was still looping around in my head, which one would have been better to choose.

They say hindsight is 20/20. Or "In retrospect, I should have seen it coming." Sometimes we make bad decisions and we only realize much later how it affected us. Sometimes we realize the repercussions right away. And sometimes we never actually see the mistake.

It is a blessing to be able to actually realize ones faults. To be able to pick out your mistakes and understand why they were wrong and see how you could have done it differently.

I recently saw someone from my past. They were right in front of me. They looked right past me. They didn't recognize me. That made me very happy.

They were a mistake. It was a mistake. We make mistakes. But the fact that I went unnoticed showed how far I have distanced myself from that situation.

There was a time I was looking in all the wrong places. It takes strength to pick yourself up and leave a bad situation. And it is rewarding when you can see that change in your life, and you can be proud of your efforts.

I always pray that G-d give me the strength to make the right choice. And that if I don't make the right choice, I will be able to fix it.

We can never forget our past, or the places that we've been. But they dull and fade away, like dusk turning into night. Or rather, the shadows of the night fading away into a brilliant sunlight.

And this new place- is smells like flowers, and sunshine, and the breeze in your hair. It is magnificent.

And it is mine, because I made it. If I could make it here- I could make it anywhere.

Israeli Army?

My little brother (18) has been saying for awhile that he is going to the Israeli Army. My family wasn't sure if we should believe him or not. He is one of those kids who is usually all talk. "I'm gonna build a flying car." "I'm gonna build a tree house." (Him and my father actually built a clubhouse on the ground which they never finished.) He has all these wild dreams, and lots of idiot friends. So we all shrugged and said, 'who knows?'

He is flying to Israel tomorrow. So he says. My mom says maybe he will get off the plane in Moscow. His plan is to rent an apartment in Jerusalem with some of his idiot friends for awhile until he can actually apply to the army.

I keep asking him what his plans are. He dodges my questions. I hope he has a plan. I hope he won't do anything stupid.

Just to cover all my bases, I bought him a mincha-maariv with a tehillim, and wrote in it 'Be Safe. Love Altie'.

Then I punched him a few times on his arm. Cuz how else do you say goodbye to an 18 year old boy?

If anyone sees a tall, kind of big teenager, red head with a beard in Israel, with an idiot expression on his face- tell him I say 'what's up'.