Chasing a Dream

I miss that feeling you get when you are running after something, something worthwhile. A dream, a goal, a desire. You are fluid, like wind as you chase it, you can almost touch it, just barely out of reach.

It is like bleary eyes at 3 am as you read one article after another, site after site and the world just opens up to you and it is awesome.

It is like standing on the edge of a mountain staring down at the view around you and it is literally breathtaking.

It is like seeing someone familiar in a crowd and running to catch up to them.

It is the feeling you get after going running, exhilarating, thrilling, intoxicating.

It is like chasing a dream.

Taking the YOU who you are now, and the you that you so desire to be and meshing them together into a reality.

It is so hard.

It is like a picture that eludes you, an image of colorful twirling scarves and the woman who controls them.

Spread your arms out wide. And spin.

Just spin until you get dizzy and fall down. Did you ever make a 'cupcake' when you were little, with a puffy dress? Such fun.

Sometimes you just want to take a life-changing-all-encompassing-never-look-back leap. Just change your life around instantly. Live the life you want, BE the person you want to be, emulate your role models and the awesome people of this world.

Tweak you character here, change that there, and voila you are who you want to be.

But we don't live in a computer. You can't build your dream life like you can do in build a bear, or design your own avatar.

So WHO do you want to be?

Not the lady next door, not the famous people on the news, the coolest person you can think of. The problem is, you will never be any of those people. You will only ever be YOU.

Maybe you can incorporate a little of some or all of those people.

Who. Do. You. Aspire. To. Be Like?

Where is your life going, what are your dreams? Are they elusive like the wind?

Run. Leap. Grab. "You may never land on the moon, but you will fall among the stars".

Lesson to self: don't let life pass you by with regrets. This is not about having to explain to your kids why you never fulfilled your dreams, although they might ask you that. This is not about giving an accounting to your parents, your spouse, your boss.

The only person your life will ever really matter to is YOU.

Don't be a dream chaser. Be a dream catcher.

Heavy of Heart

Everyone has those days, the ones where things just don't seem to work out.

Your bread is stale, and your turkey smells funky. And not a good funky.

It rained, and you didn't wear your rain boots today of all days.

Someone makes you redo all the work you just did, because of a mistake that they made.

People want to argue with you and dispute your opinion for no reason.

The hours until the end of the day aren't passing fast enough.

You drag your feet from one local pizza store to the next, trying to decide what to buy for lunch. And how much money you want to shell out for something you can easily have made yourself at home.

Your heart just feels heavy, like you can literally feel the weight of it on your chest. Your stomach feels weird, like it is full of air but being squeezed at the same time.

You need something- chocolate, a friend, a hug- to pull you out of this.

Despite the many reasons you have to be happy- the sun is shining, you are alive, things are going fairly well- you see everything through gloomy grimy glasses.

You laugh with people, but you are not laughing inside.

You are also a drama queen and you make things out to be worse than they actually are.

So you go to Pomegranate. And after hours of perusing the isles, you carefully pick out the food for your late lunch.

Now you are not starving.

The rain has stopped. The weather warmed up. No need for rain boots.

Work is almost over.

People are really funny.

Your mom calls, almost like she knew you needed a boost.

People make you smile.

You now have a chocolate bar.

The grime has cleared, your heart weighs the right amount, and things are okay.

No, maybe you are not skipping. But your step is lighter.

And you are thankful you don't have any real problems or things to worry about.

Talk is cheap

I like to talk to people on the phone when I am walking somewhere. Then I don't feel so lonely out in the street alone. I usually call my mom. The conversation consists of me telling her how I am (work is fine, life is fine, this is what I made for dinner, bla bla bla) asking her how she is, (kids are fine, gym is great, weather is fine, etc etc), and I try to extend it until I am home. It is just reassuring to have her on the phone with me.

Someone once commented, 'Aww it's so cute how you say 'love you' to your mother on the phone'. I do it every time without fail. It is important to me. I want to let her know how I feel. I am not the type of person who says 'luv ya' to everyone I talk to or meet or see. Some people do. They use it like freebies, they hand it out to everyone. I think the term 'I love you' should be reserved for a select few. And even 'luv ya', which is cheapening it, shouldn't be used because it is cheap.

Talk is cheap. There are the talkers, and there are the doers. And of course, usually the talkers don't get very far if all they do is talk. It is important to DO. Some action is required if you want to get anywhere in life.

Type it up. Hang it up. Have it in front of you always. Don't forget it.

Which is why it is ironic that it is after midnight and I said I was going to go to sleep before 12 tonight.

Talk is cheap. Give your words some weight.

My little bag of Heaven

I'm a sucker for good smelling lotions and perfumes, and smiling sales persons. When I feel welcome and important, I am more likely to spend.

After an unsuccessful speed shopping trip, I went into Bath and Body Works. Yes, I knew I was going to be spending money. Cmon, you would too.

They had a '3 for $10' deal, and a '5 for $5' on the pocket hand sanitizers. And the lady was just soooo friendly, and everything smelled soooo good....

I spent $48 dollars. I am in a happy mood.

And I smell nice :)  

I'm cominggggg!!

I hate those childproof gates, the ones that are meant to keep children in or out of a room, but really exist to frustrate adults and make them feel like idiots.

I babysat my nieces Motzei Shabbos. That constituted me sitting at the computer, surfing the net, watching some shows while reading a book. Then I thought I heard crying so I went to check it out.

My niece was in her bed crying. I tried to get in her room, but I couldn't figure out how to open the stupid gate. Move the latch, push the gate, it didn't budge. Move the latch, pull the gate up, it didn't budge. She just kept on crying.

I'm coming! I thought. I'm coming don't worry, I'm coming to save you! I contemplated climbing over the gate, when finally somehow it gave way and I got into the room. I don't know how I opened it and I wouldn't be able to do it again.

I held my niece and rubbed her back. She may have woken from a bad dream. She lay her head on my shoulder, and I felt her small warm body calm down and her sobs subsided into hiccups. I put her back into her bed and she fell asleep.

In Chassidus there is a saying, "Lechatchila Ariber". It means, to go over an obstacle.

Don't let things stand in your way. There's no way around it, there's no way through it, there's no way under it- you must go over it.

The lesson here is, they should make childproof gates childproof only, not adult proof. But luckily, we outsmart them. We can climb.

Always, Lechatchila Aeiber. Don't let your obstacles get the better of you.

Actively passive

One time my back went out suddenly, and I was in a lot of pain, to the point that I couldn't stand properly. The whole Shabbos I lay on the couch with an ice pack on my back, in agony, wishing the pain would go away.

After Shabbos my mother made an appointment at the chiropractor. I didn't really believe in them, but I figured, I might as well try, I don't have many options. The doctor had me take x-rays of my spine. She made some adjustments to my back, and then this is what she told me:

"It may feel better, it may feel worse, or it may not feel any different." Really? Thanks lady. You just fortified my doubts about chiropractors. Now I know why they are called quacks.

Thank G-d a few days later it was much better, and then eventually it went back to normal.

And I never could figure out if the chiropractor helped at all, or if it just got better on its own, and it would have gotten better anyway had I not gone to the chiropractor at all.

In life, we sometimes encounter certain situations, or obstacle. We try to find solutions and ways to get past it and overcome them.

And sometimes things just get better on their own, and 'work themselves out'.

My mother always says, 'Everything will work out just fine."

My question is, will things just magically work out, or is it my job to make it work? If I don't put in effort at all, will things get better? Will life just fall into place?

Life will happen with or without you. But wouldn't you rather be an active participant?

I guess that's the real question.

Home

It was worth it coming home (family home) for Shabbos just to see the shocked look on my mother's face. :) Nice surprise, and nice to feel welcome.

The weather is gorgeous, the breeze is flowing through my wet hair, and I'm loving having a long Friday so I don't have to rush into Shabbos.

I am trying to drown out all the negative news going around with positive thoughts. I hope everyone has a really nice relaxed enjoyable Shabbos, and I wish you all had a niece that's as cute as mine :)

Good Shabbos! Peace, love, and harmony ☮☮☮

A.D.D.D.D.D.D.D

"I don't have a short attention span, I just... Oh, look a butterfly!"

"Our attention span is shot. We’ve all got Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD or OCD or one of these disorders with three letters because we don’t have the time or patience to pronounce the entire disorder. That should be a disorder right there, TBD – too busy disorder." -Ellen

"I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering."

I sit down to write an article and I can't focus. There is always something else that needs my attention. An email to respond to, a phone call, someone chatting with me. I just can't get away from it.

Just today I was thinking how much I would benefit by going back to the olden days, my good old trusty flip phone. The coolest thing it does is text. No internet, no email, no need to check the screen every few seconds. It's an obsession, checking to see if I have email, reading stuff online, checking my facebook page, and all from this little handheld device while I'm on the go, not looking at anyone or anything because me and the rest of the world are engrossed in the gadget in our hands.

It's disconcerting.

I always just accepted the fact that my mother doesn't have a cell phone. It was normal back in the day when my father got his first cell phone, a big brick-like contraption with an antenna that had to be opened every time they made a phone call. If someone would have told people back then about the Iphone they would have laughed. Who knew we would progress this far in such a short time?

So back to my mother. (Excuse my ADD). She called me the other day and a weird number I never saw came up. And then my sister texted me something about my mother having a cell phone. Those 2 words are rarely in the same sentence together, besides for "Ma, you are the only person in the world who doesn't have a cell phone."

Try to picture my mother with a phone in her hand. She hates the tiny buttons all squished together. We all said she would get frustrated trying to answer a phone call and just throw the phone against the wall.

Apparently the phone situation was very temporary, because of a certain necessary arrangement. Ya, I didn't think it would last.

I thought about it. About the fact that I get distracted so easily by many things, and how nice it would be to go back to a simple time without all that distraction, to be able to sit down and write a story or article without getting that itchy need to check my email and make sure the world still exists.

I tried to "get away" on Sunday. I took the Staten Island Ferry. It was a gorgeous day out. I went to Staten Island, walked around, sat by the water, had a nice time (yes, by myself.) I brought a notebook with me and decided I was going to try to write. I didn't get very far. Even without all the little 'distractions' I just kept thinking, maybe I should walk for a bit, what's that over there, is that a lighthouse? Oh wow there's a baseball game going on. Haha look at the birds in the water. And check out this poignant 9-11 memorial.

And on and on and on. It never stops. B''H my brain is always churning out thoughts. The only real time I get to relax without external distractions is on Shabbos, and then I can't write anyway.

I can't regress in time. Technology is here for a reason, to get us farther in life. To bring us news instantly. To connect us to friends and family halfway across the world via phone and video chat for free. Technology is an awesome thing, and I embrace it. I appreciate it. I see how wonderful it is that we as a human race have come this far. Use it. Use it for the purpose of which is was created, namely to serve Hashem and to make this world a better place.

But despite all that, it would be nice once in awhile, for just a teeny tiny bit of time, to have an oasis, to have a respite, to escape the noise and the gadgets and the instant technology at the swipe of a finger. To just breath, to embrace nature, to listen to yourself think, to sing out loud without headphones in your ears, to talk to people around you, to just BE and live apart from your extra limb.

I think we all have a touch of A.D.D. We have to learn how to focus on THIS moment, the here and now, instead of rushing ahead to something else that needs our attention.

Rush this moment- and it will be gone, and so will the next, and so will the next and so will- wait what?

:-)

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice- you are a horrible person.

When you see someone's true nature come out, it kind of makes you wonder how you ever saw anything good in them to begin with. Were you just blinded by their charm and smile? Or are you the kind of person who chooses to believe in the inherent good in each person, until it beats you over the head and says "look at me! There is nothing nice inside of me. Only black dark ugliness".

And then you realize the truth. Wasted time and energy. Regrets. Yes, cuz how could someone trick you like that? How could they fool you into thinking they were a nice person?

I don't know. But I don't believe that makes you naive, or even a bad judge of character. I think that means that you are a good person, that you choose to believe in the good of other people.

Until they take that choice away from you.

Some people will just never be nice people. And I hope you see that before it's too late.

Trauma

The body heals itself. Pain dulls and eventually fades away with time. Like memories.

They say time heals all wounds. I say time heals most wounds. There are some that can never be healed. They lessen into a dull ache that sits in the back of your mind quietly, until something brings it up. And then it throbs anew. And it doesn't stop.

But as the rule goes, time heals all wounds. Superficial wounds, like cuts and bruises. You can watch them heal, day by day. You can see its progress, as the cut closes up, as the bruise turns purple, and then a dull yellow, and eventually you cannot tell the difference between the wound and the perfect skin around it.

And you take that as a sign that all is well, that you are better now. That the trauma is gone.

Until you get a new wound and it starts all over again.

I had routine blood work done last week. They stuck a needle in my vein. I watched it. And then I couldn't stop thinking about it. It didn't really hurt, but I anticipated pain. So it hurt. My brain made it hurt. You can do that. You can control or create your own pain.

And then for days afterwards I would remember the needle being stuck in, and it would hurt all over again. Phantom pain. It made me nauseous. I tried to remind myself that it wasn't real, that it didn't really hurt.

You do that, you try to get over it, to get past it, to forget.

Now, the bruise is so tiny, it is almost gone. And the pain? What pain? I forgot how it felt entirely, and that is a blessing.

Yes, the body is fascinating, and the brain is a powerful tool. The body has the ability to heal itself.

And the brain- the brain has the ability to forget. To erase and move on.

I wonder what is imprinted on our memories, what we will eventually forget, and what will stick with us forever.

And how much of our pain do we ourselves create? How much trauma have we gone through unnecessarily?

What doesn't kill you, does it really make you stronger, or does it leave a mark so deep that maybe no one can ever see?

Confessions of a New Yorker (At heart)

It took me 21 years, but I finally admit that I am somewhat of a New Yorker. I used to hate the title, and despise the unspoken description that came along with it. 'Stuck-up, snobby, rude, loud, uncaring.' I hated having a 'Brooklyn accent'. I hated being a stereotype. I worked very hard to break out of it, to the point that someone once asked me if my accent was British.

No, it is most likely tinged with a Toronto accent, due to the four years I spent in school there. But close enough.

I took pride in telling people that I was born in Boston, which in my mind made me a 'Bostoner'. And that I moved to New York when I was 3, which obviously means that I am not from here. (Despite having lived in New York for 18 years, minus 4 for high school and one for seminary.)

I saw the look on their faces when they said, 'So where are you from?' and I said New York. I saw how they judged me, most likely thinking, oh so she is from New York... So that's what kind of girl she is.

So what kind of girl is a girl from New York? Well, even within New York there are different types of people. There are the high and mighty City Dwellers, i.e. Manhattan. They are powerhouses. Business men and women. Wannabes. Rich, or trying to get rich. They wear suits, they live in really expensive tiny apartments, they walk really fast and don't see anyone around them.

I live in Brooklyn. Crown Heights to be exact. People are nosy. All up in your business. Where are you going, what are you doing, who are you hanging out with, what are you wearing, etc. etc. etc.

I don't know much about Staten Island (I don't think anyone does.) The Bronx, (still can't figure out why they get a 'The' in front of it) I avoid, as it is considered 'dangerous'. Or used to be. Long Island is where rich preppy people live. Big houses. Lots of land.

Then there's Queens. Sort of lower class. Some gangs, some Spanish people.

The thing I like about New York is that it is so diverse. There are droves of people here. As of a census taken in July 2009, New York City has a population of 8,391,881 people.

New York- the city that never sleeps. In one word- it is ALIVE! And that's what I love about it.

Ever been to Times Square at night? It is never dark and quiet. It is always bright as day. For a person who is a night owl, New York has a great nightlife to offer.

Baking a cake at midnight and out of eggs? No problem, just run down to the corner store that is always open late.

"But regarding anywhere else in comparison....where else can you get around with public transportation 24 hours a day! If you felt like a pizza at 5AM, you can find a place! Sick? 24 Hour drug stores. Even if you crave a bagel or want to go bowling..there are places that are open 24 hours a day. "

"Take in all that you can and you'll soon realize that you can't...because there is SOOOO much going on that you'd want to come back to explore things you haven't done the first time around."

From a list of 50 Reasons to Be Pretty Damn Euphoric You Live in New York City, these are my favorites:

47. There is always someone crazier than you. ALWAYS.

44. The epic feeling you get running to catch a train and succeeding...just before the doors close.

41. We get the inside jokes. Because, actually, we made them up in the first place.

36. Whatever you need, whenever you need it, there is someone who will bring it to you for a price, which may or may not be negotiable. (Or legal.)

30. The fact that one-bedroom apartments cost an average minimum of a half-million dollars means we think nothing of spending $12 on lunch.

26. Smart people are the norm, not the exception. (Which doesn't mean they're sane, but at least no one's boring.)

22. How easy it is to find doughnuts, pizza, Chinese food, or any other snack your drunken self desires at 4 a.m. Or to continue to drink. Responsibly!

11. Complain about the MTA, but you can get anywhere in the city for just $2.25. Or $2.50 single ride, come 2011. Still pretty damn cheap.

10. Subway rage. Bike-lane rage. Walking rage. Random rage. These are our therapy. Although we all go to therapy, too. No judgments! We bitch, therefore we are.

9. Jaywalking is an art form.

7. Subway "prewalking," in which you walk to the exact right spot on the platform to board the train car that will save you the most time upon exit, exists and has a name. Gotta respect.

6. You can be alone, but never feel lonely. And vice versa. But if you die and aren't found until a year later, you won't be the first.

1. If you can make it here, you really can make it anywhere. But why would you bother to go anywhere else?

Which brings me to my main point of this article. Subways. The Subway is gross and dirty and smelly and squishy and toxic. But it also takes you everywhere you want to go for one fee, it is a life all on its own, there are fascinating people on the subway, people share their musical and dance talents. My brother says he will never need a license cuz he can take the subway anywhere. (He will also never move out of New York.)

There is a picture hanging on some of the newer subways, and I think it perfectly and accurately describes NEW YORK people. Here's the picture:

If you notice, this painting is hanging IN the picture. Pretty cool.

Here is where the artist, Sophie Blackal explains the background of the painting.

And the pictures broken up into sections:

1. Tweens, congregating in small groups, often talking and joking loudly so that everyone can hear them, screaming each others names incessantly, saying goodbye in loud obnoxious voices.

2. A family of Tourists. Clearly. The I Heart NY t-shirt gives them away. They wear backpacks, hold maps, look around at everything and everyone, and even (gasp) ask natives for directions. They are the goldfish in the glass bowl we all stare at. Or do they stare at us?

3. Lady sleeping. Most likely had a hard day at work.

4. Guy with fish in pail?? Went fishing for the day. Nice.

5. Girl squished by the pole. Didn't want to have to stand.

6. Interesting scarf guy.

7. Redhead. Clearly checking out the girl 2 seats down.Using his book for cover.

8. Lady doing her makeup. Leaning away from red haired guy.

9. 'Ze French Twinz'. Looks like one of them isn't wearing shoes.

10. Hipster nuns. With Ipods. Wow.

11. Guy with bear suit. Totally normal.

12. Chassid. Right in middle of the painting. Ya, they notice us.

13. Chinese lady with plant, something that looks like fish. Food shopping.

14. Oboe player? Nerd or cool?

15. Lady with funky hair and bright yellow boots. Tattoos? Knitting?

16. Playing accordion for money? Looks a little sad.

17. Little girl peering out the window. So who is she with?

18. Old guy peacefully reading the paper. Or is he a spy?

19. Rollerblades, noise cancelling headphones, AND a smart phone? Well aren't you just the cooliest.

20. Balloons, or is that just her head?

21. One person, or 2? Can they breath? Can you hear me?

22. Overwhelmed mother with a crying baby, trying to hold on to a toddler who has a tail??? Poor woman.

I'd like to think that this painting represents the vast diversity of people in New York. A 'melting pot' of sorts. I ride the subway every day, and you really do see a lot of interesting characters.

Feel free to interpret this painting any way you want to. I think it's awesome. 

I don't plan on living in New York all my life, nor do I want to raise my kids here. But there is just something about it that is ingrained in me. The noise, the fast pace, the nightlife. The HEART. Mainly, the heart of New York. It beats, it throbs, and it is always there when you need it.

As September 11 2001 can attest, at a time of tragedy, we come together. We help each other, we support each other, we care about each other. We may not always show it, but it is always there. Yes, most New Yorker's have a tough gruff 'I don't care about anything least of all your name' attitude. But that is just for show.

For the most part.

Here is to New York City, the greatest city in the world!

If I had a million dollar$$$

We try to teach children the value of money from a young age. Some parents give their kids an allowance, some make their children earn the money by doing chores around the house. Most responsible parents don't just hand their kids money because they said 'Daddy, I need $100'.

A common phrase we tell kids is "Money doesn't grow on trees". I saw a funny prank once where a parent was trying to teach this lesson to their daughter. They brought her to a store, and bought her a 'money tree'. She really believed that it was a plant that just kept growing money.

It is cute to watch little boys by their upshernish (hair cutting ceremony for a boy when he turns 3.) People give them money to keep, or to put into tzedaka. Some kids just rip it up. They don't know what it is. Also, my little brother would always rather have 10 single bills rather than 1 $100 dollar bill. Because kids don't know the value of money, but they learn numbers early on, to them more means more.

A little kid on the subway said "Look what I got- a DOLLAR!". All excited. It was so cute.

When did money stop being so simple? Kids appreciate one dollar. I treat dollars like pieces of paper. As an adult, when one has bills to pay, and rent due, and food to buy, money stops meaning pleasure and excitement. It is tedious. Pay checks go towards expenses. They don't go into piggy banks. They go into big banks, with overdraft fees and ATM fees.

So who REALLY knows the value of money? Kids save up for specific toys they want. Adults blow their money on vacations and unnecessary items.

And no matter how much money we have, we always seem to need more. No, not need. Want more.

"Look what I got- a DOLLAR!" I wish that dollar meant more to me than just 100 pennies...

Sunny days and Starry nights

I love warm weather. I decided when I get married I will move to a warm climate. Then I will have a reason to be happy and cheerful all the time. Everyone just seems to be in a better mood when the weather is nice and pleasant outside.

People complain about the time change and losing an hour of sleep. But I am enjoying it being lighter out for longer. It is nice to leave work and it is still light outside as opposed to nightfall.

I am so looking forward to summer. Even though this is the first summer I will have a normal job through the summer and not a summer job, the warm weather makes everything better.

I imagine my kids growing up in a warm climate. They will come to New York and delight in the snow. And I will tell them that their Mommy grew up here wearing a coat all winter. And they will just find that so funny.

Ahhh, warm weather. It is the little things in life that bring a smile to my face.

Enjoy it!

Feeder Fish- lesson for life

I was on the Subway and a lady had a container full of many tiny little fish. A little girl sitting next to her stared at it wide-eyes and inquired about the fish. The lady started telling the little girl, "These are feeder fish. I'm going to give them to my turtle and other big fish to eat."

The little girl's father started motioning with his hand 'nooo noo'. Then he turned to the girl and said, 'You know how on the discovery channel we learned about the food chain? How some animals eat grass and some animals eat other animals and we eat animals? So some fish need to eat other little fish for food.'

The little girl looked a little puzzled. But then she seemed okay with it.

The father said to the lady, "When she found out how they killed chickens she wouldn't eat any meat for a long time."

In the world there are levels and classes. Some people are sharks and some people are feeder fish. Some people will make it big and some people will get crushed along the way.

Sorry kiddo. That's life. 

The S Word (S-I-C-K)

I can't even
move my hand
to pick up the phone
to call you
to tell you
how much I need you
right now.

It aches so much
every time I move
my body riddled with germs
my voice so hoarse it croaks
my sneeze so strong
it might break my nose
and people are putting on their hoods
so as not to catch
what I have.

I'm like a leaper.

I hate being sick
on a fast day
on the happiest day
the day that comes only once a year.

My apartment is silent and empty
room mates in a different country
no one to make me tea
or bring me chicken soup
or cover me with an extra blanket
as I lay shivering in bed.

Hot and cold
yes and no
up and down.
I frown.

No.
Even that takes too much effort.

Close my eyes
the germs have won.
I need sleep
and a respite from the sick
feeling coursing through my body.

Please let this cold be over
cuz this-
damp tissues
and sneezing
and coughing
and running nose
and body aches
and pains
and headaches

THIS
IS
NOT
GOING
TO
WORK
FOR
ME!

Not to mention I can't breath.

Yes, I would like some chicken soup now.

And a hug would be nice.

My first Shaloch Manos

It is so nice to get a surprise package in the mail. I didn't even realize it was for me until my room mate said "That's so sweet, who's it from?"

A package? For me? Wow, this is exciting I never get anything!

Lo and behold, it is from my mom! A candy platter from Oh Nuts. Awww. Thanks Mom. That is so sweet.

And now I got my first Shaloch Manos!

Have an easy fast, and A Frailechin Purim to everyone!

P.S. Don't get too drunk.

P.P.S. Don't drink and drive

No words tonight

Not sad,

Not happy,

Not anything really.

Everything.

It's not over till it's over.

Is it over?

No. You would slap me for that.

I will miss having you around.

Things will be different.

But one thing remains the same.

You. Me. Our Friendship.

That won't change.

You don't say goodbye to a friend you know you'll see again.

You say: Safe Travels.

Life is a journey. One stage is ending, and another one is just beginning.

I wish all good things for you, for me, for all of us.

Love you, and be safe. See you soon.

-Altie

Don't let them in

Most banks are closed on Sundays. Hence, you need to have a bank card to get in.

I went into my bank to make a deposit, and noticed a homeless guy lying in the corner.

Let us just assume that he does not have a bank account, and he slipped in when someone else opened the door.

He was smoking. I hate inhaling second-hand smoke, especially in small non-ventilated areas. And of course, most places have a no smoking rule inside.

A homeless guy sleeping in the lobby of a bank. First time I've seen that. I suppose tomorrow morning security will come and evict him from his temporary home.

It makes me realize how on guard one must be at all times. We try so hard to keep up our defenses and keep out all negative influences from our midst.

But it takes just one little slip for a hobo to get in.

Never let your guard down.

Don't do as I do

It is hard to remember, but little kids really do copy us.

I was crossing a busy intersection, the light was red for me. There was a break in traffic, so I dashed across the street.

And a little boy directly across from me mirrored my actions. Yes, he should probably listen to his mother who no doubt told him do not cross on a red light.

But here is an adult (me) doing just that.

Which makes me remember that I have to be careful with my actions, because someone, be it a child, a stranger or G-d is always watching.

Do as I say, not as I do.

Integrity

It is best not to judge other people, but it is also easy enough to notice their actions.

In New York, sometimes the buses are so full that people are pushing and getting on the back of the bus, which is illegal since they may not end up paying the fair.

I noticed a frum guy get on the bus in the back, and at the next stop he made sure to go to the front to pay the fare.

Another time I was on the train, and the conductor puts a card by your seat after he collects your ticket so he knows that you paid.

One lady got off the train and another lady got on and sat in the first lady's seat. The conductor walked right by her because he thought she already paid. And she made sure to give him her ticket the next time he walked by.

I like and respect honest people who have integrity. sometimes I think it is just a given, but in this world, honesty is hard to come by.