On a Northwest Airways flight from Atlanta , GA , a well attired middle-aged woman found herself sitting next to a man wearing a kippa ("yarmulka" in Yiddish). She called the attendant over to complain about her seating.
"What seems to be the problem, Madam?" asked the attendant.
"You've sat me next to a Jew!! I can't possibly sit next to this strange man. Please find me another seat!"
"Madam, I will see what I can do to accommodate," the attendant replied, "but the flight is virtually full today and I don't know if there is another seat available."
The woman shoots a snooty look at the snubbed Jewish man beside her (not
to mention the surrounding passengers).
A few minutes later the attendant returned and said, "Madam, the economy and club sections are full, however, we do have one seat in First class."
Before the lady had a chance to respond, the attendant continued, "It is only on exceptions that we make this kind of upgrade, and I had to ask permission from the captain. But, given the circumstances, the captain felt that no one should be forced to sit next to an unpleasant person..."
The flight attendant turned to the Jewish man sitting next to her, and said: "So if you'd like to get your things, Sir, I have a comfortable seat for you in First class..." At this point, the surrounding passengers stood up and gave a standing ovation while the Jewish man walked up to the front of the plane.
The lady then said indignantly, "The Captain must have made a mistake.."
To which the attendant replied,
"No Ma'am. Captain Cohen never makes a mistake."
Monday, May 24, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
A double mazal tov
Dear blogger:
It's starting. You know that moment, that single event that triggers a whole bunch of other events, like a domino effect that goes on and on and doesn't stop until it's over? That starts everything else into motion, and then you know, you just know that that is it and nothing will ever again be the same? Know what I'm talking about? Like this.
I do.
Today not one, but two of my classmates got engaged. No, not to each other. And no I don't think they planned it. It is exciting, and beautiful, and amazing, and of course, totally expected.
Yes expected.
It makes sense that the year after seminary, two years out of high school, a class of girls who are bli ayin hara 20 years old should start getting engaged. And the more the merrier.
I look into my glass ball... or Jewish equivalent. In our future I see many simchas, lots more engagements and weddings, then kids, and families and homes.
20 years down the line when we all meet up for our reunions and catch up, and figure out if the nerds really did become famous and the popular girls really did go down the drain- oh that would be public school reunions, my bad- we will all laugh and smile and say, remember that day when two girls in our class got engaged? G-d willing may it be soon for everyone.
I can feel the rumbling. It is starting.
It's starting. You know that moment, that single event that triggers a whole bunch of other events, like a domino effect that goes on and on and doesn't stop until it's over? That starts everything else into motion, and then you know, you just know that that is it and nothing will ever again be the same? Know what I'm talking about? Like this.
I do.
Today not one, but two of my classmates got engaged. No, not to each other. And no I don't think they planned it. It is exciting, and beautiful, and amazing, and of course, totally expected.
Yes expected.
It makes sense that the year after seminary, two years out of high school, a class of girls who are bli ayin hara 20 years old should start getting engaged. And the more the merrier.
I look into my glass ball... or Jewish equivalent. In our future I see many simchas, lots more engagements and weddings, then kids, and families and homes.
20 years down the line when we all meet up for our reunions and catch up, and figure out if the nerds really did become famous and the popular girls really did go down the drain- oh that would be public school reunions, my bad- we will all laugh and smile and say, remember that day when two girls in our class got engaged? G-d willing may it be soon for everyone.
I can feel the rumbling. It is starting.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
It's cheesecake time!
When I was in sixth grade, my teacher made cheesecake in school with my class, and gave out the recipe. It's called a no bake frozen triangular cheesecake. My family really liked it, and since then I have made it for Shavuos almost every year. Only problem is, I misplace the recipe from year to year, and then have to try to remember it, or figure it out.
I'm gonna make it this year. I googled it, and there are other people who know what I'm talking about! Although slightly differently.
Normally I'm not a big cheesecake eater. But it's Shavuos, so it's required. We have at least 3 to try from this year.
Bon apetite, and may everyone have a spiritual, and tasteful giving of the Torah holiday this year!
I'm gonna make it this year. I googled it, and there are other people who know what I'm talking about! Although slightly differently.
Normally I'm not a big cheesecake eater. But it's Shavuos, so it's required. We have at least 3 to try from this year.
Bon apetite, and may everyone have a spiritual, and tasteful giving of the Torah holiday this year!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
LOL
I have a confession to make. I'm afraid I have fallen pray to the LOL and the :) generation. It is a horrible syndrome to which there is no cure.
There is such a thing as smiling too much. Yes. It is not so bad when you see someone in person, except you might end up looking like your face is cracking. Imagine this: you see a friend or acquaintance you have not seen in awhile. Of course you must smile, act like you are happy to see them, ask about them, and endure as they ask about you, your life, how you are, and bla bla bla. So you keep that smile on your face for dear life even as you are thinking, 'ok when is it polite to end this conversation, do I have to hug her or can I get away with a wave, ya like she really wants to know about my life'. Etc. Cuz if you wouldn't smile, well that would just be weird.
But I'm talking about a different type of smiling. The online kind. Here's an example of a fictional conversation that could be real:
Random Person: Hi Altie!!!!! How are you????? (yes, they must put lots of explanation marks. Makes them sound more excited, and high on something.)
Me: Hi! :) I'm good, how are you?
RP: good!! :) hows life?
M: :) its great. (it's really not.) How's yours?
RP: amazing!!!! I miss you!!!
M: :) :) I miss you too! (I don't.)
RP: Happy birthday!!!! :) How does it feel to be 20?
M: :) Thank you! It feels great. (It doesn't.)
RP: So did you do anything special for it?
M: :) :) :) :) :) :)
(here's where I make up an excuse and sign off.)
Here's my point: not every sentence must be punctuated with a smiley face. And if you don't G-d forbid use a smiley or a million exclamation marks, doesn't mean you are depressed or not high on life. Maybe you are just smiling for real.
Same thing with LOL. Stop using it as a filler. Most people who use it are not really laughing out loud.
Don't let your conversationee force you into a smile you don't really mean.
There is such a thing as smiling too much. Yes. It is not so bad when you see someone in person, except you might end up looking like your face is cracking. Imagine this: you see a friend or acquaintance you have not seen in awhile. Of course you must smile, act like you are happy to see them, ask about them, and endure as they ask about you, your life, how you are, and bla bla bla. So you keep that smile on your face for dear life even as you are thinking, 'ok when is it polite to end this conversation, do I have to hug her or can I get away with a wave, ya like she really wants to know about my life'. Etc. Cuz if you wouldn't smile, well that would just be weird.
But I'm talking about a different type of smiling. The online kind. Here's an example of a fictional conversation that could be real:
Random Person: Hi Altie!!!!! How are you????? (yes, they must put lots of explanation marks. Makes them sound more excited, and high on something.)
Me: Hi! :) I'm good, how are you?
RP: good!! :) hows life?
M: :) its great. (it's really not.) How's yours?
RP: amazing!!!! I miss you!!!
M: :) :) I miss you too! (I don't.)
RP: Happy birthday!!!! :) How does it feel to be 20?
M: :) Thank you! It feels great. (It doesn't.)
RP: So did you do anything special for it?
M: :) :) :) :) :) :)
(here's where I make up an excuse and sign off.)
Here's my point: not every sentence must be punctuated with a smiley face. And if you don't G-d forbid use a smiley or a million exclamation marks, doesn't mean you are depressed or not high on life. Maybe you are just smiling for real.
Same thing with LOL. Stop using it as a filler. Most people who use it are not really laughing out loud.
Don't let your conversationee force you into a smile you don't really mean.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
My first love
He will always be my first love, no matter how many people I will meet after him.
His eyes are so blue I get lost in them.
Whenever I look at him, he is smiling at me.
He makes me happy.
He makes me want to sing.
He laughs at my jokes.
He makes me feel loved.
He holds out his arms to me-
And I pick him up and hold him tight.
He falls asleep in my arms.
My boobah- you will always be my first love.
p.s. this is talking about a baby I babysit. Not a guy, for those quick to judge.
His eyes are so blue I get lost in them.
Whenever I look at him, he is smiling at me.
He makes me happy.
He makes me want to sing.
He laughs at my jokes.
He makes me feel loved.
He holds out his arms to me-
And I pick him up and hold him tight.
He falls asleep in my arms.
My boobah- you will always be my first love.
p.s. this is talking about a baby I babysit. Not a guy, for those quick to judge.
On the occassion of my birthday...
I would like to give everyone a bracha. please take it personally. (first time i said that )
you should first and foremost always be happy, in every situation and wherever life may take you. you should have the koach to rise to every challenge G-d throws your
way. You should be a good influence on those around you, continue to
learn and grow in yidishkeit. for those who need specific brachas, may
you have parnassah, success in everything you do, find your bashert in
the right time, may it be soon, and it should be an amazing year with
only happiness and lots of simchos!!! Moshiach now!!!!!
(if you want a personal bracha call me or email me. if you want to know how i spent my birthday... well details to come.)
Monday, May 10, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Social awkwardnessnessness
It was 7th grade all over again.
The popular people in the center, chatting and giggling amongst themselves, and me, off to the side with a book, trying to look busy, like I didn't care that no one tried to include me in conversation. Only this time, I wasn't in grade school. And I didn't have a book. I had my cell phone, so I texted people in a vain attempt to look preoccupied, and not as awkward as I felt. But I think that only made it worse. So I left.
9th grade. High school. New girl, in a new school, new country. (Ok, technically Canada is not a country.) Two friendly girls came up to me and introduced themselves. Broke the ice. I was thankful for that, cuz I'm not good at that.
I have been told that on first impressions I seem a bit aloof and snobby. I know, right? Here's the thing: if you are by nature a shy person, or not so quick to be social in a new situation, who's responsibility is it to introduce themselves?
It works both ways: if you can accuse me of being anti-social, I can accuse you of ignoring me and being unfriendly.
I'm not really the kind of person who clings to her friends and can't go anywhere without them. (Example: the bathroom.) But still, it is nice to have someone familiar with you when meeting new people.
Take a lesson: if you are ever at a social event and you see people off to the side, be the one to go over and say hi. They are probably standing there thinking, 'can I look at my watch again? How many times have I done that already? Is it rude to leave the room and make believe I have a phone call?' They want to feel as comfortable as you do.
The popular people in the center, chatting and giggling amongst themselves, and me, off to the side with a book, trying to look busy, like I didn't care that no one tried to include me in conversation. Only this time, I wasn't in grade school. And I didn't have a book. I had my cell phone, so I texted people in a vain attempt to look preoccupied, and not as awkward as I felt. But I think that only made it worse. So I left.
9th grade. High school. New girl, in a new school, new country. (Ok, technically Canada is not a country.) Two friendly girls came up to me and introduced themselves. Broke the ice. I was thankful for that, cuz I'm not good at that.
I have been told that on first impressions I seem a bit aloof and snobby. I know, right? Here's the thing: if you are by nature a shy person, or not so quick to be social in a new situation, who's responsibility is it to introduce themselves?
It works both ways: if you can accuse me of being anti-social, I can accuse you of ignoring me and being unfriendly.
I'm not really the kind of person who clings to her friends and can't go anywhere without them. (Example: the bathroom.) But still, it is nice to have someone familiar with you when meeting new people.
Take a lesson: if you are ever at a social event and you see people off to the side, be the one to go over and say hi. They are probably standing there thinking, 'can I look at my watch again? How many times have I done that already? Is it rude to leave the room and make believe I have a phone call?' They want to feel as comfortable as you do.
Bocher I’m awesome
This poem was inspired by the song 'I'm awesome' by Spose. It is meant as a parody, a joke, and is not meant to be taken as an insult.
I’m awesome
No you’re not bocher don’t lie.
I’m awesome
I have never in my life worn a tie
I’m awesome
Can’t afford pointy shoes
So I wear crocs, so comfortable, those will have to do
Unless I go on a date
In which case
I can always borrow a suit
But no dates for me cuz I didn’t get smicha
Plus my sister has facebook so nobody wants me.
I go to shul once in awhile
Mismatched suit, never in style
Black hat beaten up you’d think I got in a fight
Had it since I was thirteen, but that’s alright.
On Friday night I eat Gefilte fish
If there is smirnoff I’ll even make Kiddush
I go to a farbrengin on all the holy days
So I can drink a lechaim and act like an idiot
And yes super bowl counts as one
I’m awesome
No you’re not bocher don’t lie
I’m awesome
Never in my life gotten high (weed doesn’t count)
I’m awesome
Met all my friends at yeshiva
Dropped out cuz I couldn’t take the pressure
Now I live at home for free
No need for an alarm clock
Cuz my mother wakes me
Never worked a day in my life
Easy ride, now isn’t that nice
I’m awesome
No you’re not bocher don’t lie
I’m awesome
You’d never know, cuz I’m so shy But-
I’m awesome
Tzitzis that stick out and a shirt untucked
Look like a shlump
No money, no job, can’t even earn a quick buck
But that’s ok cuz I’ve got Dad
Who pays my cell phone bill and
Even an allowance
So I can hang out with my friends at a bar
On Motzei Shabbos.
I’m not worried about getting married
Even though I’m 25
I have my pick of girls from when they turn 17
And my whole life to decide
Cuz well, I’m awesome like that
And you know the rest.
I’m awesome
No you’re not bocher don’t lie
I’m awesome
Haven’t left the house in awhile
I’m awesome
But it’s all ok cuz I have a mashpia
And I’m holy like that
I even cry when I pray,
Which doesn’t happen too often,
Mostly on the holidays.
I do mivtzoyim at the airport
So I can hit on pretty girls,
While putting tefillin on their boyfriends.
So I keep a pair handy to take with me on trips.
But I don’t go nowhere cuz well, there’s nowhere to go.
So I stay at home.
By myself.
Not even a cat for company.
Can’t have a pet, cuz I’m holy like that And-
I’m awesome
No you’re not bocher don’t lie
I’m awesome
I drive around in my friends ride
I’m awesome
No need for a license cuz I don’t got a car but
I’m awesome
I will run towards a scene when I see a fight
Be the first one in
And the last one out
I want my name on COL
For doing nothing
But the publicity is great
And don’t hate me for being awesome.
Just follow my lead. You know you want to….
Cuz I’m awesome.
I’m a bocher and I’m awesome.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Birthdays
It’s happening again
It happens every year
Right on time
Never misses a beat
It’s coming
It’s ominous
Like a countdown
A black screen with red numbers that goes beep beep
And turns with each second that passes
Then each minute
Like a time bomb
You smile and make believe you totally forgot about it
While really you are so anxious inside
Nervous
Do something, or don’t do something?
Will anyone even remember it?
Will I get what I want?
But they don’t know what I want
In that case, should I tell them?
Or act totally surprised
And enjoy whatever they get me
Even if it’s just a card
Then there’s everything else
All the holy stuff you gotta do
Can’t forget that
After all, you owe everything to g-d
Time to give something back
So, party and get drunk
And then wake up the next morning with no recollection of what you did?
Or pray the whole day?
Make some good resolutions
That I am sure to break the next day.
So much stress
For just one day
If I pray hard enough
You think it’ll go away?
Just skip to the next day
Like in February there’s only 28 days
And the 29th is missing
But nobody notices.
This is supposed to be a happy day
And it is
But it isn’t
It is a turning point
It is a time for reflection
Also a time to get drunk and act stupid
And do whatever you want
And blame it on the day
The day that is slowly coming closer
With each tick of the clock
It shouldn’t mean much cuz it happens every year
But it means a lot
And each year that passes brings you closer to old age
So should I smile and be happy
Or get just a bit worried, and nervous
About wrinkles and missing teeth that is to come?
Doesn’t really matter cuz it’s gonna come anyway
And all the preparations won’t stop that
And then
Whatever you do
Or don’t do
It’ll be gone
And over
Like it never happened
Until the next year
When it happens again.
Yes. My birthday is coming.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
New blog in the house!
Go check it out. Called, The Thinker, very mysterious and anonymous, but so far it seems like he has a brain and something to say. And he writes poetry. A plus in my book.
Your welcome for the reference. Anyone else who needs help becoming popular, let me know.
Your welcome for the reference. Anyone else who needs help becoming popular, let me know.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
An interesting happening
I went power walking tonight with a friend. Got to try out my new sneakers. No, not the converses. Those are still up for grabs.
As we were walking back I started a discussion. I read MM's blog post. (For those of you who hate clicking links as much as I do,) in short, someone saw religious guys from Monsey on a cruise. They took off their kappatos (religious garb) and head coverings, ate not kosher food, smoked on Friday night, took pictures with non religious girls, all with their long peyos hanging out. Ironic. So I mentioned to my friend how great it is that we are Lubavitch, and we could do all of those things but we don't have to hide it.
(Maybe that is a flaw in Lubavitxh, or religion in general, that kids can feel so free in the wrong things they do. But to me, if you do something wrong at least be honest about it. Don't hide it.)
Ok that was kind of a joke. Yes all those things are wrong. But in my opinion, being that they are so sheltered, their desire to rebel and do bad things is so much stronger. For me, because I watch TV, read newspapers, and basically have a general picture of what the outside world is like, I don't have the urge to go all shikse or OTD. Sheltered being the key word here.
That's not even the main part.
We were almost home, we stopped to chat when a black girl walked up to us and said, 'excuse me, can I ask you something?' Now, being a resident of Brooklyn, here is where one generally says 'Run!'. But I said sure. It wasn't that late, there were people walking by, and I figured, if she asks for money, all I have is my cell phone.
It was like G-d sent her from heaven. Her name was Anet. The first words out of her mouth were, 'you guys are Jewish, right?' To which I responded yes. 'But your hair's not covered. You're not married, right?' Again, yes.
Anet proceeded to tell us, 'wow so you guys are modern Jews.' I winced a bit. She mentioned the 'guys with the long peyos (she motioned by her ears in a curling manner) and how they pass her in the street and if she says shalom they don't respond. She thought it was so nice that we were talking to her. She's Baptist. She tried different religions and didn't like any of them. No, this is not some story where we successfully convert someone. That is not our goal anyway. But she was genuinely impressed by us, and how we were 'modern' Jews, not like the ones who look like robots and don't talk to anyone.
And here's the kicker: she mentioned exactly what we were just talking about. She said, how can you recruit people to your religion if you won't even talk to them? We explained to her how some people have higher standards, how some people are more concerned about learning Torah and don't want to waste time. (In a positive light.)
We told her about the seven Noahide laws. She thought I was talking about the 10 commandments.
She asked me if I ever saw her walking with her dog. She lives just a block away. I politely told her no I don't think I've seen her before.
I was left dazed. And with food for thought.
I don't like going on mivtzoyim. It makes me nervous. Plus, I feel like I'm supposed to be representing something that I don't adequately represent. I feel like I'm straddling the line. On the one hand, to me it seems like frum people judge me, for how I dress, act, speak, and they measure what level of religion I'm on.
On the other hand, non religious, or even non Jewish people for that matter praise me and find it so amazing what and who I am. It's confusing.
I wish I could say I properly represented Jews, and that I influenced someone today. But that, I will never know.
As we were walking back I started a discussion. I read MM's blog post. (For those of you who hate clicking links as much as I do,) in short, someone saw religious guys from Monsey on a cruise. They took off their kappatos (religious garb) and head coverings, ate not kosher food, smoked on Friday night, took pictures with non religious girls, all with their long peyos hanging out. Ironic. So I mentioned to my friend how great it is that we are Lubavitch, and we could do all of those things but we don't have to hide it.
(Maybe that is a flaw in Lubavitxh, or religion in general, that kids can feel so free in the wrong things they do. But to me, if you do something wrong at least be honest about it. Don't hide it.)
Ok that was kind of a joke. Yes all those things are wrong. But in my opinion, being that they are so sheltered, their desire to rebel and do bad things is so much stronger. For me, because I watch TV, read newspapers, and basically have a general picture of what the outside world is like, I don't have the urge to go all shikse or OTD. Sheltered being the key word here.
That's not even the main part.
We were almost home, we stopped to chat when a black girl walked up to us and said, 'excuse me, can I ask you something?' Now, being a resident of Brooklyn, here is where one generally says 'Run!'. But I said sure. It wasn't that late, there were people walking by, and I figured, if she asks for money, all I have is my cell phone.
It was like G-d sent her from heaven. Her name was Anet. The first words out of her mouth were, 'you guys are Jewish, right?' To which I responded yes. 'But your hair's not covered. You're not married, right?' Again, yes.
Anet proceeded to tell us, 'wow so you guys are modern Jews.' I winced a bit. She mentioned the 'guys with the long peyos (she motioned by her ears in a curling manner) and how they pass her in the street and if she says shalom they don't respond. She thought it was so nice that we were talking to her. She's Baptist. She tried different religions and didn't like any of them. No, this is not some story where we successfully convert someone. That is not our goal anyway. But she was genuinely impressed by us, and how we were 'modern' Jews, not like the ones who look like robots and don't talk to anyone.
And here's the kicker: she mentioned exactly what we were just talking about. She said, how can you recruit people to your religion if you won't even talk to them? We explained to her how some people have higher standards, how some people are more concerned about learning Torah and don't want to waste time. (In a positive light.)
We told her about the seven Noahide laws. She thought I was talking about the 10 commandments.
She asked me if I ever saw her walking with her dog. She lives just a block away. I politely told her no I don't think I've seen her before.
I was left dazed. And with food for thought.
I don't like going on mivtzoyim. It makes me nervous. Plus, I feel like I'm supposed to be representing something that I don't adequately represent. I feel like I'm straddling the line. On the one hand, to me it seems like frum people judge me, for how I dress, act, speak, and they measure what level of religion I'm on.
On the other hand, non religious, or even non Jewish people for that matter praise me and find it so amazing what and who I am. It's confusing.
I wish I could say I properly represented Jews, and that I influenced someone today. But that, I will never know.
Spanish cleaning ladies
The cleaning lady talks to me in spanish. She gestures around with her hands, points to things. I have no idea what she is saying. The only words I understand are 'suddy' (sorry) and 'bye'. Other then that, she could be telling me that she stole all the jewelry in the house, and I would just nod my head and say yes, yes.
She waved some money in my face. 3 hundred dollar bills, and some change. Then she motioned with her hand, and put it down in the dresser. Now, did she tell me that she found the money lying around, and she wanted me to know she wasn't taking it? Was she kindly giving me $300? Or was she asking me to keep it for her for later?
I really should learn Spanish.
She waved some money in my face. 3 hundred dollar bills, and some change. Then she motioned with her hand, and put it down in the dresser. Now, did she tell me that she found the money lying around, and she wanted me to know she wasn't taking it? Was she kindly giving me $300? Or was she asking me to keep it for her for later?
I really should learn Spanish.
Time
Why is it that it is ok, nay, expected of you to be a few minutes late for anything? A meeting, a wedding. Class. The term "fashionably late" is absurd, if you think about it. If you are supposed to be somewhere at a certain time, be there, don't calculate and think that maybe the other person won't be there on time, or they won't mind that you spent a few extra minutes on your hair, or on the computer, or watching the last few minutes of a show. If you decide on a time to be somewhere, be there, no excuses.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go. I was supposed to be somewhere at 12, and it's now 12:05. Oh well, what's a few minutes, right?
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go. I was supposed to be somewhere at 12, and it's now 12:05. Oh well, what's a few minutes, right?
Monday, May 3, 2010
Camp
Trying to concentrate, to listen. In another world. Being involved, participating. Asking questions, reaching out, asking for advice. For support. Give and take. Sharing of myself with strangers. Things I don't normally do. For an hour. Being someone I usually am not. For the greater good. For the children. For the directors. For camp.
Of course, it's easier to do all those things by phone, on a conference call where no one can see you and no one knows you.
And then it all comes crashing down. Back to reality. Take your laundry out of the dryer. They don't understand. They don't understand because they don't work in a camp. They don't know what I do or what I go through or the responsibility I am afraid of or how nervous I get or the preparations I dread or the fear of failure. They don't know any of that. So they demand I get off the phone and take my clothes out of the dryer.
There can't be any crossover. No straddling the line. Either you are all there, or not at all. I choose to be there. I want to be there. I don't want to be here. So I will try and remain in that bubble. That euphoria of having a support group. People who understand you, relate to you and have similar fears. People who don't make you take your clothes out of the dryer.
I wasn't looking forward to camp, but now it can't come fast enough.
Of course, it's easier to do all those things by phone, on a conference call where no one can see you and no one knows you.
And then it all comes crashing down. Back to reality. Take your laundry out of the dryer. They don't understand. They don't understand because they don't work in a camp. They don't know what I do or what I go through or the responsibility I am afraid of or how nervous I get or the preparations I dread or the fear of failure. They don't know any of that. So they demand I get off the phone and take my clothes out of the dryer.
There can't be any crossover. No straddling the line. Either you are all there, or not at all. I choose to be there. I want to be there. I don't want to be here. So I will try and remain in that bubble. That euphoria of having a support group. People who understand you, relate to you and have similar fears. People who don't make you take your clothes out of the dryer.
I wasn't looking forward to camp, but now it can't come fast enough.
Birthday blues
If I wish it away, you think it won't come?
I don't want to turn twenty. It means the end of teenage years as I know it. Another birthday means another year gone by, a year in which I didn't accomplish much, and specifically, not the things I pledged to do last birthday. That just means another birthday to make new hachlatas and not follow through on those... a vicious cycle.
Another birthday means I am getting older. Bringing me closer to that ghastly word that I can't say, can hardly even think... old age. Gasp.
I was listening to the radio once, there was this call in session, you could call and tell the person what your fear was, and discuss it with him. This teenage girl called in and said she was scared of growing old. And she didn't even mean old old. She meant like twenties, thirties. She was scared of responsibility, and paying bills, and being poor.
I'm not scared of growing old, no. But I am not looking forward to responsibility, money, or lack of, all the problems that come with growing... old.
So how bout this: I get all the perks and presents of a birthday, but don't age at all. I stay forever young. That would be awesome.
I don't want to turn twenty. It means the end of teenage years as I know it. Another birthday means another year gone by, a year in which I didn't accomplish much, and specifically, not the things I pledged to do last birthday. That just means another birthday to make new hachlatas and not follow through on those... a vicious cycle.
Another birthday means I am getting older. Bringing me closer to that ghastly word that I can't say, can hardly even think... old age. Gasp.
I was listening to the radio once, there was this call in session, you could call and tell the person what your fear was, and discuss it with him. This teenage girl called in and said she was scared of growing old. And she didn't even mean old old. She meant like twenties, thirties. She was scared of responsibility, and paying bills, and being poor.
I'm not scared of growing old, no. But I am not looking forward to responsibility, money, or lack of, all the problems that come with growing... old.
So how bout this: I get all the perks and presents of a birthday, but don't age at all. I stay forever young. That would be awesome.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
So what REALLY goes on at 1414?
I pass by 1414 President street, one of the boys yeshiva dormitories in Crown Heights, every day. There are always guys outside smoking, talking on phones, or just hanging around. It makes me wonder: do they ever learn or get any real stuff done?
Thursday, April 29, 2010
The sneaker man
I bought a pair of sneakers today. No, not the Converses. And all because this nice guy who works in the store walked up to me and said, 'Hello Ma'am, how are you doing today? Do you need anything?' Suddenly, I got this rush of warm tingling sensations, and my brain lit up and said, I wanna buy sneakers! Yes, good customer service really does work.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Post with the most links
Something woke me up at 5 am. Or rather, lack of something. I felt like I was dying of thirst. Lesson: never eat something salty before going to bed.
So I took a spin around the web to see what people are up to these days. Like, what's happening?!
And here's what I came up with:
This Sunday is Lag Baomer, and therefore there will be a parade in Crown Heights, which happens only when Lag Baomer falls on a Sunday. It is being called The Great Parade. I googled it. Exhibit A: It is not only for Lubavitchers. All the big Jewish news websites know about it, and I assume there will be thousands of people there. There will also be a concert before the parade. They even have their very own twitter account! Exhibit B: So that is one cool exciting event coming up that everyone should attend. The Rebbe was very big on the Lag Baomer parade. It is an event that creates unity and achdus among Jews.
Another thing I came across on my travails on the web was a certain Iceland volcano. It has a name. Thumbs up to those who can pronounce it. It is called the Eyjafjallajokull volcano. According to Wiki, it is even harder to pronounce then I thought. Since I have a very short attention span, (I wouldn't go so far as to say I have ADD, that's for sissys) I couldn't read all the stuff I found on it. After all, it is just a volcano that erupted. What significance does it have to me?
According to this article on Collive, perhaps plenty. So the question remains: can a volcano bring Moshiach?
Can you blame me when my first reaction to reading that was skepticism? Ok, so I am a scoffer. Does that mean I can't get on the cloud when it comes to pick us up? I hope not. Oh, I believe in Moshiach. But I'm not so sure a volcano is a sign that it is here. OR that it is "G-d's reply to the passage of health care bill".
I read the article. The first thing that caught my eye was: The Moshiach campaign. That name reminded me of the "Tznius campaign" which, if some of you recall, is another reason why I was skeptical.
But then, who am I to say that a volcano is not the start of the Geulah? G-d works in mysterious ways, and has many ways to bring things about. If He wants to use a volcano, so be it. Am I going to be the one on the front lines saying, I knew it all along!? Probably not. But like one of the Rabeim said, all that matters is that Moshiach should come already. It doesn't matter who it is or how it comes.
Ok that is all for tonight folks. If you like what you saw, please leave feedback and maybe I will post again.
Until next time, on the Altie-Reviews. (Pending copyright.)
So I took a spin around the web to see what people are up to these days. Like, what's happening?!
And here's what I came up with:
This Sunday is Lag Baomer, and therefore there will be a parade in Crown Heights, which happens only when Lag Baomer falls on a Sunday. It is being called The Great Parade. I googled it. Exhibit A: It is not only for Lubavitchers. All the big Jewish news websites know about it, and I assume there will be thousands of people there. There will also be a concert before the parade. They even have their very own twitter account! Exhibit B: So that is one cool exciting event coming up that everyone should attend. The Rebbe was very big on the Lag Baomer parade. It is an event that creates unity and achdus among Jews.
Another thing I came across on my travails on the web was a certain Iceland volcano. It has a name. Thumbs up to those who can pronounce it. It is called the Eyjafjallajokull volcano. According to Wiki, it is even harder to pronounce then I thought. Since I have a very short attention span, (I wouldn't go so far as to say I have ADD, that's for sissys) I couldn't read all the stuff I found on it. After all, it is just a volcano that erupted. What significance does it have to me?
According to this article on Collive, perhaps plenty. So the question remains: can a volcano bring Moshiach?
Can you blame me when my first reaction to reading that was skepticism? Ok, so I am a scoffer. Does that mean I can't get on the cloud when it comes to pick us up? I hope not. Oh, I believe in Moshiach. But I'm not so sure a volcano is a sign that it is here. OR that it is "G-d's reply to the passage of health care bill".
I read the article. The first thing that caught my eye was: The Moshiach campaign. That name reminded me of the "Tznius campaign" which, if some of you recall, is another reason why I was skeptical.
But then, who am I to say that a volcano is not the start of the Geulah? G-d works in mysterious ways, and has many ways to bring things about. If He wants to use a volcano, so be it. Am I going to be the one on the front lines saying, I knew it all along!? Probably not. But like one of the Rabeim said, all that matters is that Moshiach should come already. It doesn't matter who it is or how it comes.
Ok that is all for tonight folks. If you like what you saw, please leave feedback and maybe I will post again.
Until next time, on the Altie-Reviews. (Pending copyright.)
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Why I can't stand people
There are some people who are socially retarded. Like, literally. They don't know what is appropriate to say to people in conversation, or how to say it. Some people are socially awkward. They'd rather be alone, they don't like company, and get flustered when placed in social situations. And some people are just anti social. Know how to do it, have done it before, but would rather not have to.
I'm in the last group. I don't like big gatherings. I don't like invasions of my privacy. So when lots and lots of girls converged on my house for my sister's birthday party, I stayed in my room.
1 in the morning. The house is finally quiet, everyone is asleep. I sit on the couch in pajamas, reading a book. Then I hear the door opening, wondering who could be coming in this late at night. It is one of our guests. We sit and talk. I am pleasantly surprised. Not only am I not wishing she will leave me alone and go to bed, I am actually enjoying our conversation. She is smart and nice and loves to laugh, and it's contagious. It's a pleasant conversation and I am sorry it had to end, but it was getting late.
I don't like people, but I can make an exception now and then.
I'm in the last group. I don't like big gatherings. I don't like invasions of my privacy. So when lots and lots of girls converged on my house for my sister's birthday party, I stayed in my room.
1 in the morning. The house is finally quiet, everyone is asleep. I sit on the couch in pajamas, reading a book. Then I hear the door opening, wondering who could be coming in this late at night. It is one of our guests. We sit and talk. I am pleasantly surprised. Not only am I not wishing she will leave me alone and go to bed, I am actually enjoying our conversation. She is smart and nice and loves to laugh, and it's contagious. It's a pleasant conversation and I am sorry it had to end, but it was getting late.
I don't like people, but I can make an exception now and then.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
My birthday wish
So as someone pointed out, my birthday is coming up. When I was in 1st grade, my teacher had a tradition that on your birthday, you got to stand up on a chair in front of the class and make a birthday wish. We were all so holy (or guilt ridden, or peer pressured) that we all wished for Moshiach.
So of course, this year my birthday wish is for Moshiach, and all that jazz.
BUT I would also like a present. So any of you kind hearted souls out there who enjoy my writing, secretly admire me, are friends with me, wish you could be me, wanna marry me, or anything else, can buy me a present. I would like a car. But I respect the fact that you are poor and that's expensive. So next I would like an itouch. But that is also a bit pricey. I also want a leather jacket. Those run at maybe 100$ for a good one. And a pair of designer sunglasses.
I decided my husband will buy me jewelry and perfume, so my birthday wish which you might be able to afford is.....
Follow the LINK. And yes I really did pick orange. Happy early birthday to me. 3 weeks to go. Start emptying out your piggy/cow banks.
:)
p.s. I will still like you even if you don't buy me a present. But if you need my address to know where to send it... email me.
POST SCRIPT: i decided I want the green or red converses instead. Orange doesn't go with anything.
So of course, this year my birthday wish is for Moshiach, and all that jazz.
BUT I would also like a present. So any of you kind hearted souls out there who enjoy my writing, secretly admire me, are friends with me, wish you could be me, wanna marry me, or anything else, can buy me a present. I would like a car. But I respect the fact that you are poor and that's expensive. So next I would like an itouch. But that is also a bit pricey. I also want a leather jacket. Those run at maybe 100$ for a good one. And a pair of designer sunglasses.
I decided my husband will buy me jewelry and perfume, so my birthday wish which you might be able to afford is.....
Follow the LINK. And yes I really did pick orange. Happy early birthday to me. 3 weeks to go. Start emptying out your piggy/cow banks.
:)
p.s. I will still like you even if you don't buy me a present. But if you need my address to know where to send it... email me.
POST SCRIPT: i decided I want the green or red converses instead. Orange doesn't go with anything.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
To the future!
There is nary a day when I have more then one email in my inbox. (I just wanted to use the word nary.) In other words, I hardly get any emails these days. I think it is because I hardly send out emails. Well I do, important ones, about my future. But of the friendly chatty variety, not so much, and therefore I don't get any in return. I guess it is true what they say, what goes around, comes around.
But all that is about to change. Well, maybe not. But my destiny is taking a turn for the better. I have acquired a summer job! My life has meaning again! I will bloom, I will blossom! I will fulfill my purpose!
Okay, well at least I won't be sitting at home all summer wondering what to do.
IY"H, many exciting adventures to come. Onwards!
But all that is about to change. Well, maybe not. But my destiny is taking a turn for the better. I have acquired a summer job! My life has meaning again! I will bloom, I will blossom! I will fulfill my purpose!
Okay, well at least I won't be sitting at home all summer wondering what to do.
IY"H, many exciting adventures to come. Onwards!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Aaahh, the left lane
The left lane is a symbol, and elite club. We are talking about highways, of course. The left lane is the fast lane, where only the most prominent and experienced drivers venture. For they, the elite, get quite annoyed when people such as myself enter that Lane.
I drive at leisure. It is but a ride, after all. Focus, concentrate. In my rear view mirror I see a car gaining on me, getting closer and closer. He is trying to hint to me that I am going too slow. He swerves, switches lanes rapidly, almost cutting someone off and causing a collision, then swerves back in front of me. Yes, I got the hint.
It makes me nervous to drive in the left lane. I feel as if all eyes are on me, urging me to go faster. The pressure is on.
So I stick with the middle lane, the safe lane. You can never go wrong with the middle lane. So long, you left lane drivers. And good riddance.
I drive at leisure. It is but a ride, after all. Focus, concentrate. In my rear view mirror I see a car gaining on me, getting closer and closer. He is trying to hint to me that I am going too slow. He swerves, switches lanes rapidly, almost cutting someone off and causing a collision, then swerves back in front of me. Yes, I got the hint.
It makes me nervous to drive in the left lane. I feel as if all eyes are on me, urging me to go faster. The pressure is on.
So I stick with the middle lane, the safe lane. You can never go wrong with the middle lane. So long, you left lane drivers. And good riddance.
Grave yards
Alas, some people are quite scared of cemeteries, especially at night. But I enjoy them, actually. I find them quite peaceful. The dead, they are essentially asleep, an eternal rest. To me, a grave yard is quiet. A place to think. To reflect. To appreciate being alive. To say your piece, and then leave, back to your own life.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
I need a new muse
Where does a writer go to get inspiration?
An artist has many venues. Museums, parks, mountains. All they need is a muse, a scene, an image. Then their hands flow smoothly with brushes and paint, commiting to paper what their eyes see, whether physically or in their minds eye.
A writer, where does he go?
Did you ever get that feeling that things you once found exciting and amusing, fun and interesting, you now find frivolous and immature? Boring? It's like your brain is trying to grow out of its skin. Grow up. Move on to bigger and better things. And yet you haven't found those things yet. But there are people, obsticles in your path. So you find yourself stuck in one place, unable to move, with girlish giggles in the background.
An artist has many venues. Museums, parks, mountains. All they need is a muse, a scene, an image. Then their hands flow smoothly with brushes and paint, commiting to paper what their eyes see, whether physically or in their minds eye.
A writer, where does he go?
Did you ever get that feeling that things you once found exciting and amusing, fun and interesting, you now find frivolous and immature? Boring? It's like your brain is trying to grow out of its skin. Grow up. Move on to bigger and better things. And yet you haven't found those things yet. But there are people, obsticles in your path. So you find yourself stuck in one place, unable to move, with girlish giggles in the background.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Pesach, and other things
I can't figure out if we are moving in, or moving out. But our house is a mess.
In all the other houses we lived in, we joined the many forces and turned our kitchen into a spaceship for pesach, all foil and everything. Kashered the counter, and covered the oven, used only a stove top, ate boiled chicken, which we called pesach chicken, had barely any food, and that's how we did it. But when we moved to this house, my mother insisted on having a big kitchen. So the tiny kitchen that the house came with was turned into a pesach kitchen! Lucky us. One of the 'special' ones.
The dining room was turned into a gorgeous big kitchen, the living room became the dining room, and a couch was wedged in the sidelines, kind of ties the whole place together if you know what I mean. So now we have the added bonus of being able to start cooking early for pesach. ya, that's IF we are finished cleaing in time. Usually we are still covering everything the night before. Did I mention that we still cover over the big kitchen, cuz technically we are selling all of it. Plus that's where we keep all the pesachdik fruits and vegetables and food.
Well this year, for some miracle, we were all clean and pesachdik by Friday, 3 days before pesach. Yes, a miracle. That, and the fact that my mother wanted to be with my sister when she gave birth, and no one knew when that would be, so better to be prepared... ya it makes no sense to me either.
So my sister, who's the chef in the house, she cooked. Now that we have a full pesach oven, we can make anything! Even roasted chicken! We made french fries in a deep fryer, and sugared nuts. Ya, we didn't starve this year.
Back to the kitchen. It didn't look like a spaceship. It looked like a cross between a cow and a zebra. Too late, I didn't take any pictures. But we covered it in plastic table clothes, every year it's a different print. Whatever was selling. Pretty funky, if you ask me. Pesach in style!
So now that pesach is over we pulled everything down. All the table cloths, brown paper, foil, everything. Take out the microwaves, and the knives, all the round the year cookware. Wow now I remember what the counters look like! And, really, that thing was over there, like forever? For a holiday that lasts 8 days, you really do forget where everything was for the whole year.
But that's it. We are back. I had my bowl of cheerios to commemorate chometz, (we used to do the pizza, but the lines were too long, we got lazy and said, what the heck.)
I went to see my friends right after yom tov was over. I needed candy. I never buy candy. Maybe I really did miss my chometz.
So now pesach is over. Back to school, back to work, back to life. Tis the season of spring and the weather is gorgeous!
So what did you do on chol hamoade? (I didn't do anything, besides see my new niece! But that was always the first question asked whenever I went back to school after pesach. That, and 'how long was your seder?' It seems that the longer it went, the cooler you are. I was never very cool. Out motto is, it's over we did it, let's go to sleep.)
In all the other houses we lived in, we joined the many forces and turned our kitchen into a spaceship for pesach, all foil and everything. Kashered the counter, and covered the oven, used only a stove top, ate boiled chicken, which we called pesach chicken, had barely any food, and that's how we did it. But when we moved to this house, my mother insisted on having a big kitchen. So the tiny kitchen that the house came with was turned into a pesach kitchen! Lucky us. One of the 'special' ones.
The dining room was turned into a gorgeous big kitchen, the living room became the dining room, and a couch was wedged in the sidelines, kind of ties the whole place together if you know what I mean. So now we have the added bonus of being able to start cooking early for pesach. ya, that's IF we are finished cleaing in time. Usually we are still covering everything the night before. Did I mention that we still cover over the big kitchen, cuz technically we are selling all of it. Plus that's where we keep all the pesachdik fruits and vegetables and food.
Well this year, for some miracle, we were all clean and pesachdik by Friday, 3 days before pesach. Yes, a miracle. That, and the fact that my mother wanted to be with my sister when she gave birth, and no one knew when that would be, so better to be prepared... ya it makes no sense to me either.
So my sister, who's the chef in the house, she cooked. Now that we have a full pesach oven, we can make anything! Even roasted chicken! We made french fries in a deep fryer, and sugared nuts. Ya, we didn't starve this year.
Back to the kitchen. It didn't look like a spaceship. It looked like a cross between a cow and a zebra. Too late, I didn't take any pictures. But we covered it in plastic table clothes, every year it's a different print. Whatever was selling. Pretty funky, if you ask me. Pesach in style!
So now that pesach is over we pulled everything down. All the table cloths, brown paper, foil, everything. Take out the microwaves, and the knives, all the round the year cookware. Wow now I remember what the counters look like! And, really, that thing was over there, like forever? For a holiday that lasts 8 days, you really do forget where everything was for the whole year.
But that's it. We are back. I had my bowl of cheerios to commemorate chometz, (we used to do the pizza, but the lines were too long, we got lazy and said, what the heck.)
I went to see my friends right after yom tov was over. I needed candy. I never buy candy. Maybe I really did miss my chometz.
So now pesach is over. Back to school, back to work, back to life. Tis the season of spring and the weather is gorgeous!
So what did you do on chol hamoade? (I didn't do anything, besides see my new niece! But that was always the first question asked whenever I went back to school after pesach. That, and 'how long was your seder?' It seems that the longer it went, the cooler you are. I was never very cool. Out motto is, it's over we did it, let's go to sleep.)
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Hello blogger
Hello blogger. I haven't written in awhile. I've been busy with stuff, like seeing my new niece, browsing through the facebook bumper stickers, downloading and watching shows. Very important stuff, as I'm sure you understand.
Once upon a time I was young and idealistic and I had a purpose. Really? No that's not true. In any case, things change. I used to post about G-d, and Judaism, perspective, life, outlook, good stuff, important stuff. I still think about those things, but right now I don't really have anywhere to go. When I figure out my 'jam', I will be sure to share it with you.
You never know where life may take you. Whether it is to the land we call Canada (ay), or Israel, or even to your dinky little home town called the Heights that you have no interest in. You makes plans that fall through. Then you learn to stop planning and leave things up to G-d. See, cuz no matter what G-d is in the picture, He is there at night before I go to sleep, and He is there when I wake up. When I am happy, and when I am sad, when I light candles on erev shabbos, when I daven, whatever I do G-d is right there with me. So it doesn't matter if I don't know what comes next cuz He knows.
See sometimes you start out with a dream, or a purpose. Sometimes you go in with your eyes open wide, and you just KNOW what you want out of life, who you want to be, what you want to accomplish. And sometimes you forget. Yes you can go so far that you can forget where it all began. But don't worry, cuz you can always find your way back, and you will ALWAYS remember.
May we all have another day, another minute, an hour, to live, to remember why we are here, and to accomplish what we set out to do. And if you ever lose your jam, don't worry cuz I know that you will find it again very soon.
Whoever is still counting the Omer, good job and keep it up. Only a few more weeks to go, stay in the running.
Once upon a time I was young and idealistic and I had a purpose. Really? No that's not true. In any case, things change. I used to post about G-d, and Judaism, perspective, life, outlook, good stuff, important stuff. I still think about those things, but right now I don't really have anywhere to go. When I figure out my 'jam', I will be sure to share it with you.
You never know where life may take you. Whether it is to the land we call Canada (ay), or Israel, or even to your dinky little home town called the Heights that you have no interest in. You makes plans that fall through. Then you learn to stop planning and leave things up to G-d. See, cuz no matter what G-d is in the picture, He is there at night before I go to sleep, and He is there when I wake up. When I am happy, and when I am sad, when I light candles on erev shabbos, when I daven, whatever I do G-d is right there with me. So it doesn't matter if I don't know what comes next cuz He knows.
See sometimes you start out with a dream, or a purpose. Sometimes you go in with your eyes open wide, and you just KNOW what you want out of life, who you want to be, what you want to accomplish. And sometimes you forget. Yes you can go so far that you can forget where it all began. But don't worry, cuz you can always find your way back, and you will ALWAYS remember.
May we all have another day, another minute, an hour, to live, to remember why we are here, and to accomplish what we set out to do. And if you ever lose your jam, don't worry cuz I know that you will find it again very soon.
Whoever is still counting the Omer, good job and keep it up. Only a few more weeks to go, stay in the running.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Mazal tov!!!!! It's a GIRL!!!!!
My sister (and brother in law, he helped too) had a beautiful gorgeous perfect little baby girl today, the 17'th of Nissan 5770, April 1st (no this is not an April fools day joke) at 12:15 PM. I got to hold her and she is the most perfect baby in the world. And that's not cuz I'm biased.
We thought it was gonna be a boy. We planned to have a sholom zachor and a bris. We also thought she would have the baby before pesach, but alas, G-d had other plans.
She is the first daughter, niece, grandchild, and great grandchild in my family and will be loved by many. And I am officially an aunt!!! I have waited for years for that status!!!
Mazal tov!!!!
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Happy Pesach!
Time for some honesty.
I don't like pesach. Really.
I hate having to clean. But more then that I hate the feeling that despite how much you clean, the house is still dirty. And still full of chometz. I'm sure of it. I just know that over pesach those little bits of chometz are sitting in the cracks laughing at us saying 'hehehehe you missed us'. Ya, I hate that part.
I don't much like the spiritual aspect of it either. The whole 'we were freed from Egypt looooong ago, so now let us celebrate by drinking wine, eating bitter herbs and being merry.' Not my style.
I don't mind the matzah though. All good and crunchy. Not bad.
I don't like the family part. Holiday is a time to spend with family, right? Grit your teeth and try to smile and not scream or strangle anybody. By the time it's over there is grape juice on the walls and on white shirts, some broken chairs, many tears spilled, and being holed up in your room with the door locked and barricaded hoping no one will bother you there. Ya that's the worst part about it.
Chol hamoade is not much fun cuz I don't like concerts, or amusement parks, and I am old enough that museum and fares are no longer exciting.
Did I kill your vibe yet?
If pesach is not about the cleaning, and it's not about the food, if it's totally not about the family time, or the fun, if it's not about the customs or the mitzvot, then what is it about?
Well it is definitely not about this. But it does have something to do with this.
I'd like to think that it's about you. As selfish as that sounds. You are not ready for pesach until you have cleared yourself of spiritual chometz too. And that is not as simple as sweeping and vacuuming and scrubbing until it shines. It involved deep soul searching. Did I mention I hate that too?
And it is about sharing. Opening your home to another Jew, going out on mivtzoyim and finding someone to share the story of pesach with, giving of yourself, a bit of sacrifice, influencing someone.
Sometimes it strikes me how so many people in this world are so selfish. Myself included. How many times do you stop to give charity to someone in the street? How many times do you hold the door for someone? Help someone carry their bags. Or even smile at a stranger. Simple acts that take little from you, but give of yourself to another person.
Long ago the Jews were liberated from Egypt. I don't know what that means to me but I hope to find out someday. Pesach may be about everything I hate about it, but it is also about giving. I may not be able to clean, but how hard is it to give?
A kosher and freilechin one to all of you, and make sure not to let my dislikes get you down or enjoy the holiday any less.
I don't like pesach. Really.
I hate having to clean. But more then that I hate the feeling that despite how much you clean, the house is still dirty. And still full of chometz. I'm sure of it. I just know that over pesach those little bits of chometz are sitting in the cracks laughing at us saying 'hehehehe you missed us'. Ya, I hate that part.
I don't much like the spiritual aspect of it either. The whole 'we were freed from Egypt looooong ago, so now let us celebrate by drinking wine, eating bitter herbs and being merry.' Not my style.
I don't mind the matzah though. All good and crunchy. Not bad.
I don't like the family part. Holiday is a time to spend with family, right? Grit your teeth and try to smile and not scream or strangle anybody. By the time it's over there is grape juice on the walls and on white shirts, some broken chairs, many tears spilled, and being holed up in your room with the door locked and barricaded hoping no one will bother you there. Ya that's the worst part about it.
Chol hamoade is not much fun cuz I don't like concerts, or amusement parks, and I am old enough that museum and fares are no longer exciting.
Did I kill your vibe yet?
If pesach is not about the cleaning, and it's not about the food, if it's totally not about the family time, or the fun, if it's not about the customs or the mitzvot, then what is it about?
Well it is definitely not about this. But it does have something to do with this.
I'd like to think that it's about you. As selfish as that sounds. You are not ready for pesach until you have cleared yourself of spiritual chometz too. And that is not as simple as sweeping and vacuuming and scrubbing until it shines. It involved deep soul searching. Did I mention I hate that too?
And it is about sharing. Opening your home to another Jew, going out on mivtzoyim and finding someone to share the story of pesach with, giving of yourself, a bit of sacrifice, influencing someone.
Sometimes it strikes me how so many people in this world are so selfish. Myself included. How many times do you stop to give charity to someone in the street? How many times do you hold the door for someone? Help someone carry their bags. Or even smile at a stranger. Simple acts that take little from you, but give of yourself to another person.
Long ago the Jews were liberated from Egypt. I don't know what that means to me but I hope to find out someday. Pesach may be about everything I hate about it, but it is also about giving. I may not be able to clean, but how hard is it to give?
A kosher and freilechin one to all of you, and make sure not to let my dislikes get you down or enjoy the holiday any less.
Monday, March 22, 2010
A little bit of cleaning
So it's 6 am and I'm up. And no, this time I didn't stay up all night. I don't know what woke me or compelled me to go upstairs and guzzle down a can of soda and a cold glass of water. The feeling of dehydration.
Well I'm up so I might as well put my time to good use. I already checked out shmais, col, ch.info, blogger, gmail, facebook, you name it I've been on it. I was on yahoo checking out celebrities. You wanna know who wore the dress better? I can tell you. Ya I didn't sleep much last night.
My nose is still itching from the dust. Ya you know how they say that dust isn't chometz? They are correct, but before you get to the chometz there is dust to clean. So there I was cleaning my room, which is not so dirty I might add, and sitting on the floor surrounded by bins and piles and piles of stuff. These were my 'boxes.'
Ya well, when you've moved 4 times you don't have shelves in your room and hooks for your stuff. You have accumulated storage. Aaaaah here's my tests from 7th grade. I got a 79% and the teacher told me to 'see her.' She wanted to know why I didn't do better. Lady, I passed and that's good enough for me.
Camp pictures from 4th grade. I laughed cuz there are two of my friends, in a smaller version. Oh boy will they get a kick out of this.
There's my key chain collection. And my art projects. And my chatchkelach that I felt were worthy of saving. The receipt for my first flight. And letters from friends. Birthday cards. Old balloons deflated and folded up. It's kind of nice to go back once in awhile and laugh at yourself, and smile at the little girl you once were. It's reassuring. No, I didn't wake up a teenager. Once I was a little girl where the world was a bright and happy place and the biggest worry was going to school and what to take for snack.
Well for all my efforts, at the bottom of the bin I found a half of a rice cake and pop corn, which my sister pointed out wasn't even chometz, just kitniyot. Ya we're the lenient sort of family. (I mean that in a loose form. Don't be telling G-d we didn't clean or anything.)
Well so far that was the extent of my pesach cleaning. I might help with the upstairs even though I told my mom it's not my house and I'm telling G-d I absolve myself from the chometz this year. Really, if you stay at someone elses house and they have chometz, it's not your sin right? My case in point.
Oh so ya I've been busy lately. Surprised? Me too. I got a kind of sort of job. Sounds a bit iffy to you? It's part time, from 12 to 4. So I get to sleep in and wake up late. Perfect for me. Which reminds me, I gotta get back to sleep. It's seriously too early to be up.
I'm sure you guys have stuff to clean, or cook, or do or buy. So stop reading this and get moving. Happy cleaning!
Well I'm up so I might as well put my time to good use. I already checked out shmais, col, ch.info, blogger, gmail, facebook, you name it I've been on it. I was on yahoo checking out celebrities. You wanna know who wore the dress better? I can tell you. Ya I didn't sleep much last night.
My nose is still itching from the dust. Ya you know how they say that dust isn't chometz? They are correct, but before you get to the chometz there is dust to clean. So there I was cleaning my room, which is not so dirty I might add, and sitting on the floor surrounded by bins and piles and piles of stuff. These were my 'boxes.'
Ya well, when you've moved 4 times you don't have shelves in your room and hooks for your stuff. You have accumulated storage. Aaaaah here's my tests from 7th grade. I got a 79% and the teacher told me to 'see her.' She wanted to know why I didn't do better. Lady, I passed and that's good enough for me.
Camp pictures from 4th grade. I laughed cuz there are two of my friends, in a smaller version. Oh boy will they get a kick out of this.
There's my key chain collection. And my art projects. And my chatchkelach that I felt were worthy of saving. The receipt for my first flight. And letters from friends. Birthday cards. Old balloons deflated and folded up. It's kind of nice to go back once in awhile and laugh at yourself, and smile at the little girl you once were. It's reassuring. No, I didn't wake up a teenager. Once I was a little girl where the world was a bright and happy place and the biggest worry was going to school and what to take for snack.
Well for all my efforts, at the bottom of the bin I found a half of a rice cake and pop corn, which my sister pointed out wasn't even chometz, just kitniyot. Ya we're the lenient sort of family. (I mean that in a loose form. Don't be telling G-d we didn't clean or anything.)
Well so far that was the extent of my pesach cleaning. I might help with the upstairs even though I told my mom it's not my house and I'm telling G-d I absolve myself from the chometz this year. Really, if you stay at someone elses house and they have chometz, it's not your sin right? My case in point.
Oh so ya I've been busy lately. Surprised? Me too. I got a kind of sort of job. Sounds a bit iffy to you? It's part time, from 12 to 4. So I get to sleep in and wake up late. Perfect for me. Which reminds me, I gotta get back to sleep. It's seriously too early to be up.
I'm sure you guys have stuff to clean, or cook, or do or buy. So stop reading this and get moving. Happy cleaning!
Monday, March 15, 2010
Pesach, oh pesach, how we love thee
Pesach is coming, as is evident from the numerous ads I see in every Jewish magazine I open to, by the Pomegranate people. They want us to shop at their supermarket this year, advertising wider isles, quick checkout, lots of products and friendly service. They call themselves 'The Pom people'. A cute and catchy name.
I have no idea where we are shopping for our pesach goods this year. It is never up to me. Nope. Despite hearing my sister complain that she "works 50+ hours a week, comes home exhausted, she shouldn't have to clean the house, Altie should do it" etc etc etc, shopping is HER forte, and G-d forbid should I try to help with that. But it gets done somehow, it always gets done. 50 pounds of potatoes, about the same amount of onions, carrots, nuts, well I don't need to tell you, I'm sure you have your own checklist of foods to buy for pesach.
Did I start cleaning yet? Nope. Cuz it always gets done somehow, right? Maybe I'll clean my room, we'll see.
There's a concept called spiritual chometz. In addition to getting rid of your physical chometz, this time of year requires some soul-searching. I have a lot of 'chometz', but no actual time to think about it. Funny, I usually have so much time on my hands, but when it comes to things like davening and learning, suddenly I find myself...busy. Hmmm, how does that work?
Well the weather is turning nice, slowly, despite the rain from yesterday, we switched the clocks and I lost an hour or sleep, and I find myself with more things to do and less free time. Almost like normal people. I say almost because my life still doesn't quite run like most peoples. No I'm not part of the mafia, I'm just on vacation. Like, a long vacation.
Anyway, I have things to do, cleaning is on the list but at the booooottom. So hop to it people. Go clean or shop or something. Heres some free advertisement for a website I'm helping out, silverdesires.com, for all your pesach silver needs. Go check it out.
Tata.
I have no idea where we are shopping for our pesach goods this year. It is never up to me. Nope. Despite hearing my sister complain that she "works 50+ hours a week, comes home exhausted, she shouldn't have to clean the house, Altie should do it" etc etc etc, shopping is HER forte, and G-d forbid should I try to help with that. But it gets done somehow, it always gets done. 50 pounds of potatoes, about the same amount of onions, carrots, nuts, well I don't need to tell you, I'm sure you have your own checklist of foods to buy for pesach.
Did I start cleaning yet? Nope. Cuz it always gets done somehow, right? Maybe I'll clean my room, we'll see.
There's a concept called spiritual chometz. In addition to getting rid of your physical chometz, this time of year requires some soul-searching. I have a lot of 'chometz', but no actual time to think about it. Funny, I usually have so much time on my hands, but when it comes to things like davening and learning, suddenly I find myself...busy. Hmmm, how does that work?
Well the weather is turning nice, slowly, despite the rain from yesterday, we switched the clocks and I lost an hour or sleep, and I find myself with more things to do and less free time. Almost like normal people. I say almost because my life still doesn't quite run like most peoples. No I'm not part of the mafia, I'm just on vacation. Like, a long vacation.
Anyway, I have things to do, cleaning is on the list but at the booooottom. So hop to it people. Go clean or shop or something. Heres some free advertisement for a website I'm helping out, silverdesires.com, for all your pesach silver needs. Go check it out.
Tata.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Fight the little birdy with a wave
We were driving back from school (in New Jersey) today. The Rabbi was driving really fast as usual. We went through a toll lane, and as he was trying to switch lanes he cut someone off. (Couldn't figure out if it was on purpose or by accident.) The guy honked at us, then swerved to the other side of our car, honked again, and then (gasp!) he flashed us the finger.
The rabbi smiled, and waved. The guy did it again, Rabbi waved again, and we had a good laugh all the way home.
They say fight fire with fire. I say fight the little birdy with a smile and a wave. That'll throw them off. (Or piss them off, whichever.)
Happy driving!
The rabbi smiled, and waved. The guy did it again, Rabbi waved again, and we had a good laugh all the way home.
They say fight fire with fire. I say fight the little birdy with a smile and a wave. That'll throw them off. (Or piss them off, whichever.)
Happy driving!
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
The spring
It was a spring. A tiny, coiled up piece of metal that we call a spring. It popped up into the air and then I couldn't find it. And believe me, I looked. I bent down and searched the floor. I found dirt and dust and bits of unknown substances, but not that elusive spring. I silently prayed that G-d should help me find it, but that didn't help.
I thought that was it. It came from an electrical appliance that I dropped on the floor. Of course, it came apart, and instead of one big thing I had 3 pieces. And while panickly (not a word, I know) trying to put it back together, that tiny little spring popped out. And that was it, the thing would be unusable. And the worst part was it wasnt mine. I was dreading telling my sister thinking, ok, so she'll be mad. Fine, I'll buy her a new one. I have no idea how much it is but money is money, right?
I was brushing my teeth. I bent over the sink, and there it was. Sitting there, behind the sink. I stared. It was still there. It didnt fall on the floor, it didnt fall into the drain. It was sitting there waiting for me to see it. A tiny, little spring that could have gone anywhere.
And thank G-d I was able to fix the stupid thing and put it back safely in it's place, no harm done.
Symbolic? I think so. Take your own lesson from this story but believe me, after I saw the spring sitting there I told G-d I would do whatever He wants of me. And I think He'll hold me to it.
I thought that was it. It came from an electrical appliance that I dropped on the floor. Of course, it came apart, and instead of one big thing I had 3 pieces. And while panickly (not a word, I know) trying to put it back together, that tiny little spring popped out. And that was it, the thing would be unusable. And the worst part was it wasnt mine. I was dreading telling my sister thinking, ok, so she'll be mad. Fine, I'll buy her a new one. I have no idea how much it is but money is money, right?
I was brushing my teeth. I bent over the sink, and there it was. Sitting there, behind the sink. I stared. It was still there. It didnt fall on the floor, it didnt fall into the drain. It was sitting there waiting for me to see it. A tiny, little spring that could have gone anywhere.
And thank G-d I was able to fix the stupid thing and put it back safely in it's place, no harm done.
Symbolic? I think so. Take your own lesson from this story but believe me, after I saw the spring sitting there I told G-d I would do whatever He wants of me. And I think He'll hold me to it.
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